Tell 'Em the One About the Midget and the Tuna....

From June 2004

My life is wonderful. I love it. But when I go to work, often it is not that exciting. I get a lot of 911 hang ups that lead to nothing but the annoying, "I didn't call 911." replies. I really do always like to say, "Well ma'am, 911 doesn't do random house calls." And my officers work in a small sleepy town, nestled between gang land to the South, and the other city I work in "B", a wacky Twilight Zone city to the North. Chris' job however, is exciting and fast paced. He has the best stories ever. Some are sad, some are scary but some are so funny, I cry with laughter. What is really funny, (and occasionally frustrating), though is that he will regale me with these amazing, colorful tales but then when I prompt him to retell them later, it goes one of 3 ways. Every time.

#1 Me: Chris, tell them about the traffic stop with the midget.
Chris: Which one is that?
Me:You know, the one with the midget, the Hungarian waiter and......
Chris:(Blank stare) I have no idea what you are talking about.
Me: How could you forget??? The guy was holding a tuna!
Chris:Hmmm....Sorry that just doesn't ring any bells.
Me: ARRGGGHHH!!!!

#2 Me: Chris tell them the one about the midget.
Chris: Which one was that?
Me:You know the one with the Hungarian waiter and the tuna?
Chris:Oh, yeah, I stopped this Hungarian waiter and he had a big tuna.
Me: And.....(exasperated) Tell them the whole thing, you know, the midget...
Chris: Oh yeah, and when I stopped him, there was this midget in the car with him.
Me: What??!! That isn't even remotely the exciting, hilarious story you told me!
Chris: Oh, I guess I don't remember it then.

#3 Me: Tell them the one about the midget, the Hungarian waiter and the giant tuna.
Chris: I don't remember that one.
Me:Fine I will tell it. (So I launch into this wild tale, full of humor and excitement. Spellbinding the listener. Then I finish. Big. And always true to how I remember the story.)
Chris:No, that's not how it went at all. Where did you get the idea there was a possum? There was no possum. (Me, looking like a total jackass.)
Me: you said you didnt' remember!
Chris: I don't, but there definitely wasn't a possum involved.
Me:AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!

Oh well, after 9 years of marriage, (this July 4th) I am kind of getting used to it!