Too Much Christmas Cheer...

There is always one yahoo, that has too much spiked egg nog, and winds up making a fool of themselves; often with a lampshade or some such object on their head. Here's this years winner. Can you believe it?

Hope everyone out there had a wonderful time!

Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Cure for the Anal Retentive

I have come soooooo far in training. I have become the kind of dispatcher, I never knew I could. I loved/love WPD, but it's not the busiest place. Don't get me wrong, some weird Twilight Zone stuff happens there, and it can get insane, but often times it is calm and there is usually a moderate workload. A normal shift would average 3 officers and a Sgt. at night and 3 plus detectives, 3 CSOs, 2 traffic units and a Sgt. during the day. The other night, at Close to Home PD, I had 2 Sgts, 1 DUI, unit, 2 K9s, 1 Booking Officer and 7 Patrol units. I had to do all of the radio traffic, all of the registration and drivers licence checks, and all of the subjects being run out, alone, plus the required records work. I got written up for missing 3 readable transmissions. THREE!!!!! In the whole shift! Not to mention, sometimes I have been catching radio traffic that my trainer has missed. It is soooo frustrating because, the officers will complain when they have to repeat their plate or location. OK, #1 If I say 10-9, it's not because I love the sound of your voice, or because I am stupid, it is because I WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE SO I CAN HELP KEEP YOU SAFE!!!! Say it with me, "Officer Safety.!"#2 The officer I have repeat herself, night after night, has braces, and is absolutely unable to enunciate. So don't you get an attitude with me, Madam Mushmouth, when your version of "I'm at the 7-11" Sounds to me like, "I had sullen unleavened" (???) #3 Thank you Officer Brown for your suggestion that I should talk in a monotone; I wandered around the house for hours talking like a robot, and it gave me and my husband a much needed laugh. #4 When I slipped and said, "What's your 20" instead of "What's your 926", don't jump down my throat; A) Your agency is one of the only CA ones not using the 10-codes, so you're outside the norm not me, and B) I've got almost 6 years of ingrained habits to break, you can cut me a little slack. #5 When I say, "1900 Hours" instead of "1900", don't say "10-9" with a bad attitude and act like you couldn't comprehend what I meant. I may say it a little different than you are used to but, you get it. Now get over it. #6 when I read back the plate numbers/letters to you before giving you the registration information, ("Plate 1 Adam Boy Charles, 2-3-4 is clear and current to John Doe out of Burbank" ) don't complain to my trainer, that it takes too long for me to get to whether the car is stolen or not. A) You need to know that I got the plate right and B) I timed it, the extra 3 seconds it takes for me to read the plate, is not going to kill you, and you're not going to lose the vehicle in that amount of time. Oh, and here is a little secret Officer Too Much Cologne, I may have changed the way I read back plates, to please you, but you better believe, if that car comes back 10-8-51 I am going to read the plate back first, so you don't get jacked up over nothing. And finally (for now) #7 If I kick butt, calling out, writing out and documenting near-perfectly, my first big pursuit, don't nit-pick on what amounts to tiny minuscule ways of how I say things, for example, an officer marginally involved complained: "You said, 'Adam 2 with a unit to fill.' Here we are used to the dispatcher saying, 'Adam 2 AND a unit to fill.' Um, yeah thanks, like that really matters, when the poop hits the fan. AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH. Back when I was in training, the Wonderful PD officers used to nit-pick me for doing things the "Huge PD" way? I felt they hated me? One time they had just finished complaining about me, and their former Full Time dispatcher, "T", came in to work Per Diem. They were soooo excited to see her, and so nice to her, I felt like crap. And my surpervisor told me, that they used to pick on her too. Now, when I work Per Diem at WPD, they are happy to see me, it's funny. I love it, too. At least I am appreciated at one of my two agencies! :) OK, thank you all, I am done venting for now. Wow, I feel much better!

I had I should finally start having some more to write, on my days off. (Fri-Sunday). Sometimes I get writer's block but I actually have the opposite problem right now; I have sooooo many stories to share with you, they're starting to mentally pile up on me. Man, I got some funny ones, and a bizarre one or two. I have a robbery, in progress, a pursuit, some goofy animal complaints and the most insane situation involving my husband as the RP. I can't wait to share them with you. Oh! And the "dye-pack" story.... Check back with me on Saturday. Til then, be safe out there!

Little Man's Version of the Christmas Story

Grandma and Grandpa got Little Man a Nativity scene playset. Little Man tossed Jesus in the back of his toy truck and replaced Mary and Joseph with a Police Man, and a Firefighter. He is only 15 months old, so obviously he is a genius. He decided, the baby Jesus could be better protected if kept on the move, the Police Man could guard the manger, and the Firefighter could be on hand lest a donkey knock over a candle. Brilliant.

When play time was over, we compromised; I put the family back into the manger, but the police man stayed to stand watch.

Ohhhhhhhhh, Baracuda!

So I was called to testify at a trial, which in my opinion is beyond stupid. Cops opinions on situations, matter, but not mine! As a 911 operator and dispatcher, I live by the motto, "They tell me, I tell you, you go." If you want to know what was said, go pull the tape, I am not paid to have original thoughts. So I had never testified before and I was feeling pretty confident. Even though the event in question had occurred months back, I had reviewed the call and by some miracle of God I actually remembered it as well. So I was up on the stand, and this 12 year old ADA begins questioning me. He was so green, stuttering and paper rifling, but I wasn't concerned, I had truth, memory and notes on my side. He finally sits down and this horrible female defense attorney stands up. Now I have seen enough episodes of Law and Order, and I was thinking I was prepared for anything. Besides, I barely did anything on this call. This lady called 911 and said her friend "Ted" just left the AA meeting drunk. Way to go Ted. So she gives us Ted's address and this is like the millionth "BOL for a possible deuce heading to XX location" I have given out. This one, however, is the only one where the "where's a cop when you need him" didn't apply. What I mean by that is; how many drunks have you seen on the road and wished a cop was around, but come on, lets be honest there just aren't enough of them to go around. I digress, so a Sgt. happened to be in the area and witnessed Ted pull into his driveway, then Ted walked into his private residence. The Sgt. and several other officers, based on the RPs info, contacted Ted, deemed he was drunk, then since the Sgt. had witnessed him driving they then arrested him on a DUI charge. Flash forward to this Defense Lady (or Dragon Lady. Either way she will be called DL.) So she stands up and is all syrupy at first, but I am ready for her. I remain calm and remember not to elaborate, just answer the question, (thanks Jack McMcoy!) Then the DL starts hammering me out of no where about what did I say and how did I say it. Then the worst thing happened. I remembered something while I was sitting on the stand that I had forgotten. So the second I said, "Wait, I just remembered...." She latched on to me like the blood sucking leech she was. Finally, exasperated, I said, "With all due respect, (not much), why don't you just pull the tape, if you want to know what I said and how I said it?" She went deadly still and pouted for a while before dismissing me. Soooooooooo, after sitting through the rest of the trial, me, the Sgt. and three other officers, were standing in the hall. We were discussing this female cop, who I will call "Jill" and I said to the guys, "That woman is an evil vindictive, b-i-t-c-h, who would eat her own young if given the chance. Right?" I couldn't figure out why they all went silent. I spun around and came nose to nose with the Dragon Lady. It's one of those moments where you feel all awkward but you know, the socially acceptable thing to do would be for both parties to ignore the comment and pretend/hope it wasn't overheard. Yeah, but that's just not me. So she is just staring at me and I say, "I wasn't talking about you, you know..." She just glared/huffed and stalked right by me. Guess I'll never know if it was because she overheard and thought I was gossiping about her or if it was because her probable cause hearing went down in flames. Either way, the good guys won.


PS. I get to take a break from training tomorrow night and work at Wonderful PD. Yeah!!!! Oh my beloved 10 codes I will see you soon. It is going to be soooo nice to not suck at dispatching again for a whole night.

Some Dispatchers (ME!!!) Should Remain in Their Seats...

Hello! As you may have guessed I threw myself headlong into training and that is why I haven't posted in a while. The prayers definitely have helped! I am doing sooooo much better. It is still hard and I have a ways to go, but my new trainer is confident in my eventual success. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to go to work soon, so I'll post more on Friday. Quick story first: I got called out into "the field" to assist an officer with a translation. (American Sign Language) The call came out as Eval for 5150. There was a possiblly homeless deaf woman who had brought in all of her property and sat down at a table inside of a carpet store and wasn't leaving. We were trying to determine if she was mentally fit and able to care for herself, how can we help her etc., Long story short, after TWO HOURS of interpreting I realized all the lady wanted, was help finding the right bus to catch! She just happened to have all of her worldly possesions with her because she was looking for an apartment. It wasn't my fault, she was giving me so much extra info, the idea got lost, but wow that officer must have thought I was the worst translator in the world!

Psssst.....I Have a Secret....

I am in way over my head. I am totally out of depth. When I interviewed for this position, I ASSumed that since Close to Home PD is the same size as Evil and Wonderful PD, it must have about the same amount of radio traffic/difficulty. I was way wrong. Close to Home is insanely, exponentially more busy than either of my recent agencies. Oh, sure I have the experience, technically. If I had come straight from Huge PD, I'd have my poop down in no time. But truthfully, in the middle of the nights at Wonderful PD, I watch DVDs and read books. I have time for Bible study and catching up on emails. At close to home, it is constant go go go go. I barely have time to catch my breath. The officers run stops back to back, there are 4 times as many officers as I am used to, as I am trying to catch up entering them into the CAD they all start calling out warrant/DL checks and I haven't even BEGUN to attempt doing phones at the same time. Also, at my other agency, WPD, I know the officer's voices like a family member. So even if someone keys the mike and just utters one syllable, I know who it was. CPD, not only do I only recognize one voice, (and that is ONLY because he sounds identical to my Uncle Jerry), but unassigned units are constantly popping up. So, say I have on all my normal Adam units and 2 Sams. On top of that the detectives (Idas) and Mcops, (Noras) sometimes, off duty so they just call out their badge number. I don't trust that I really heard what I thought I heard, so I look up at my line up. I KNOW I heard a three, I have an ADAM three, so I doubt myself and call that out and inevitably I get, "I said NORA THREE!" Oh, add on that we have overlap, so we have 1A1 working when 3A1, is working (times 1-5) and they cut off the first number. I don't recognize their names so HOW ON EARTH AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THEY ARE?????? Sure if they cut themselves off I can just say, "Ten 4 Adam 1" but I REFUSE to say 10-4 until I know exactly what is going on for officer safety issues. Plus it really matters for the computer's side. Add in the stress of learning a whole new code/beat/computer system, the fact that as a Per Diem employee I can only work 936 hours a year and those are rapidly being eaten up in training, and finally the most important point of this post: they thought I was going to walk right in the door, learn the codes and computer and start working right away, so I have massive unspoken pressure each time I screw up. And know what? Right now, I MASSIVELY SUCK as a dispatcher trainee. (Don't even count the fact that I have a CA cop husband, and they keep getting killed, I had my 1 year old in the emergency room for high fever this weekend, I memorize an entire script and perform as a main character every Sunday at church during our 40 days of Purpose campaign, (which I love) am the newly designated head of the Drama Ministry, teach an American Sign Language class on Monday nights, Bible Study on Tuesdays and I am coming down with a cold. ) Those factors do not and really, should not matter to CPD. I am telling you, honestly the only real pressure I am feeling is to succeed at work. The other things are being given over to God and He is handling them just fine. I think it's time to hand Him this one last thing, because, without help I am drowning and I really need this job. I CAN do this. They are training a girl right off the street with no experience. Aren't I better and more qualified? Yes, I am. So, I have scrapped my "come and go as I please/barely 20 hours a week" training that I was doing, and today at 4pm I start with a new trainer, full time, 10 hours a day with Friday- Sunday off. I have moved my ASL class to across the street on my lunch break (at my In-Laws house), I switched Bible Study from Tuesdays to Sundays and rehearsals/memorization for Drama have been moved until AFTER the stress of the work week is over, on Fridays/Saturdays. Can't do anything about the cop/husband and the 1 year old (nor would I want to!) This Sunday I finally filled out a Prayer request card for this, so the whole congregation is praying for me to do well. So guys, today I start fresh and committed. As Chris says, it's sh-- or get off the pot time and gosh darn it I want to sh--!!!!!! (Biiiiiiiiiiiiigggg deep cleansing breath...) Here goes.......(To Be Continued)

Micro-CHiP

A CHP friend of ours bought Little Man this authentic little CHiPie uniform blouse. Isn't he the cutest tiny cop in the world?????


Today is my birthday. Yup, I was born on Halloween, and I'd like you to give me a present. Pretty please won't you tell me what your all time favorite costume was? I'll start. I loved my costume the year I was Ophelia after she drowned. I had just taken a stage make up class so it was pretty grusome. Can't wait to hear from ya all!!!!

10:01

I am fine until one minute after 10 am. At one minute past the hour, my eyes slide past Little Man's laughing face to the digital clock behind him on the table. In my mind, I know it's no big deal he just forgot to call, his cell battery died, or there is no reception. I know this, but I can't help but notice it is 10:01. He is often late, and that alone never worries me. 2 hours? 3 or 4? That is fine, he probably arrested someone. But everyone has a limit and 10:01 is mine. I don't need him to walk through the door; if that was my requirement I'd have gone insane by now. But we have an agreement, and he is so good about keeping it. I need to hear his voice, or if he can't call, at least a text. Something, anything. I've left a message, but I don't like to call him. I don't want to bother him. I am afraid someone else will answer. It's 10:15. Every car that passes the window in our quiet cul-de-sac draws my eyes. Little Man walks over to the front door, in that little drunken sailor way he has, and pounds on it, saying "Da Da?" I laugh and grab him in a bear hug, saying, "You're right! Daddy will be home very soon." I set him down with his toys and sit down to play with him. It's 10:30 and I can feel the tension building in my neck and shoulders. I begin a mental checklist, calmly and slowly. Just in case. I think back to the papers recently filled out and I know my Pastor would come. I know Chris' office would take the time to track him down. I try to prepare myself for how a knock on the door would feel, just in case. I imagine who it would be, which friend would be chosen for such a horrific task. I tell myself I am wise to be prepared, that it is good to have a plan. My mind withdraws farther and farther from those thoughts, never really forming an actual plan and I realize, I've hit a line, that I refuse to cross. It's 10:45, I am gathering up Little Man's toys, getting him ready for his nap. My mind is completely blank as I choose to think of nothing at all. I lay Little man down in his crib and I look down at my beautiful son. A minature version of Chris, with my dark eyes. I think about how blessed I am that, even if something bad happens, I have this perfect miracle; a part of Chris and I. It's 11:00 and I quietly close the door behind me so I don't wake up the baby. It's 11:01 and as I sit and gaze out the window, Chris' truck pulls into the driveway. I watch him, as he strides up the front walk. The key is in the lock, it turns and the door opens. I don't say a word. He looks at me and he has no idea what I am thinking. "Hey." he says. And he is so tired, and his night was so long. All of the sudden I am furious. All the tension breaks in me and I practically yell, "Why didn't you call, and don't say your cell phone died, you could have used someone elses, and don't say there was no reception because you could have used a landline! We have an agreement, remember? I need some kind of contact from you when your going to be this late." And I hate the tone in my voice, but I can't stop it. I pride myself on being the best cop's wife I can for him, so even as the words come out I regret them. "Check your phone." Chris says quietly. I scroll through the messages and I see the text: IT'S 10:00 AND I AM GOING TO BE LATE. I LOVE YOU. I'LL SEE YOU SOON. I'm sorry for my mini meltdown and apologize for the outburst. If this happens again I will try to remember to not freak out....But everyone has a limit and 10:01 is mine.

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Last night a Sacramento S.O. Deputy was shot and killed. Again. That makes the third Police Officer in California this week. It is escalating. And I am so tired. So very tired of seeing black bands on Officer's Badge's.

Mary, Ocean, Robert, Ocean, Nora

Ever since falling madly in love with Super Troopers some years back, I love to hear RPs read the letters in plates or VINs out phonetically. (Remember Farva? "Peanut, Eunich....") Anyway I had a humdinger of an RP yesterday and even though my trainer was listening in, I couldn't resist asking this guy to give me the letters on the vin of his stolen vehicle, like that, "You know, Sir, if you come to a "C" you say cat, stuff like that..." "Oh, ok" he replies, quickly, and I think it will be interesting but I wasn't prepared to have to mute him so he wouldn't hear me gufawing.

Here goes:

M.o.r.o.n Guy: OK, I lost the plate. So the Vin number is: Jump, Cathy---

Me: Wait is that with a "C" or a "K"?

MG: "C ." Then, Adult, Wiffle Ball,

Me: Do I count the "Ball?"

MG: No. Then there are some numbers. Then the letter----

Me: Hang on. Go ahead and give the numbers to me also.

MG: OK. Two, um that starts with "T" like Tom

Me: Um, no just the letters phonetically

MG: Oh, OK Tom, Waffle, Oscar,

Me: Wait stop. Are you giving me new letters or are you spelling out the number two ????

MG: But I thought I----

Me: Let me explain again how to do this......[I explain again]

MG: "Got it. [tells me the #s] G as in Garbanzo beans, P like, oh, man...

Me: Paul? And let me guess, don't count the beans...

MG: Wow, you are really good at that! Ok, P like Paul---

Me: Another P? Or the same P?

MG: Another one. T like....Tea, B, like Bee...

Me: I am gonna just stop you there because now we have way to many numbers/letters.

MG: Oh, OK, from the beginning J like Jaywalking-----

Me: Just stop. Here is what we are going to do. Just say the letter and I will ask you if I can't tell what it is.

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My trainer must have thought that I was the real moron!

And now here is the cherry on my ice cream o' fun:

Moron Guy: Wait there is one other thing. I got a warning notice in the mail that if I don't move the vehicle soon, it will be fined for 72 hour abatement.

Me: The stolen vehicle you are reporting?

Moron: Yeah, what should I do?

Me: Weeeeeellll since the vehicle has been stolen, that means technically it has been moved, so how about we just don't worry about that right now.

Moron: (Doubtfully) ...OK....

I said it before, and I'll say it again....I LOVE MY JOB.

The Keyboard Can be a Dangerous Thing....

So, I am still sick. My doc thought I had mono, but turns out it was just a really bad viral infection crossed with a Sinus infection. I was so relieved to hear it wasn't mono cuz I had mono one time and it turned into meningitis and I lost my whole memory. That sucked. I digress. Since I have been off work for over a week, I got nothing new. However, I totally forgot to share my two favorite "Huge PD" stories! I may have already shared this, but I couldn't find it in my archives, so if you have heard this one before, chalk it up to the Nyquil, K? Here goes:

One time I was working the relief frequency and I sent a message around the room asking if anyone wanted a "quickie" which was what we called a bathroom break. One of the other dispatchers stands up and yells over to me, " You just sent that to every officer on the whole shift." Which was about 30+ officers. Needless to say I got quite a few MDT messages back. So many in fact, it flooded our system and I finally had to log off, in utter shame and humiliation.

Flash forward a few months I was down in the sally port gabbing with my favorite LT. I told him the above Hall of Shame moment and after he laughed, he said, "Yeah well that is nothing, I heard about this one dispatcher who didn't realize her mike was keyed and she was going on and on for so long, about her Friday night plans!" "Oh, yeah...." I replied, "That was me too...." And as he stared at me open mouthed, I added, "And for the record it was my Saturday night plans...." Ugh, mortifying!

[PS I looooove Deputy Weigel from Reno 911, but anyone else out there think they should add an insane dispatcher? Just me? OK, crawling back into my hole now.]

What am I Supposed to Think????

Those fishnets, those sassy heels, that naughty garter, I just don't know how I am supposed to take this... Ewe think ewe know someone and then something like this happens.....

Marriage in Crisis

After almost 10 years of marriage, TEN YEARS, this happens. What do I do? Do I confront him? Do I ask him if this is a one time thing? Was he just curious? Why did he save it? I am so confused. And a little jealous. This is real, I really did find the following picture saved among hundreds of recent pictures of Little Man. This is just.... I don't know what to say. I know he meets unsavory characters on his job. I know he gets propsitioned. But to have something like this in our own home. Did he meet her out there on the streets? How can I ever trust him again...Is she prettier than me? Smarter? What do you think of her?

Sick as a Dog

Oh man, we are so sick here in the 5150 Household! First Little Man got sick, then Chris, then me, then Chris got better and Little Man and I got worse. Ugh, I feel like my head is going to explode. Poor Little Man acts like we are sucking out his brains every time we use that nasal bulb thingy, (we call it the nose goblin retriever, I'm not sure what normal people call them). So Chris decides to see what all the fuss is about and he tried the bulb thingy on himself. He says, "Wow that is pretty horrible....But it does work. And I am not going to try that again." So, I will be back to post more soon, but for now, I am going to crawl back to bed with my new best friend, Green Death Flavored Nyquil.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I am an Ass

I cannot believe how dumb I was yesterday. File this one under "What was I thinking????" I was tired of squeaking in under the wire at my new job so I left super early. I got stuck behind this stupid semi truck on a deserted farm road. I fumed and then when I got into what I thought was the city I work in, I thought to myself, all my guys are in breifing, I can just pass this guy in the turning lane, no one will even notice at this hour. WRONG. Turns out I wasn't into "my" city yet. The SECOND I went to pass this truck (but I mean come one he was going 20 in a 50 zone...) Bam, lights and sirens behind me. I rolled down the window and said loudly to the approaching officer, "I am an ass!" All of the sudden he, listens to his portable, pulls his gun out and backs up, getting behind his car door. Turns out his dispatcher told him the plate was stolen. Not all dispatchers can be good, I guess. He approached cautiously and said, "Is your plate stolen?" And I said, (really good and pissed at his dispatcher, because of him/her, this officer is all jacked up and he has his gun out.) I yelled to him, "If your dispatcher was worth their salt, they would have said "one LOST, or stolen plate." I don't know if it was lost or stolen, it was just gone one day." At this point his dispatcher must have told him about my PD plates so he finally put his gun away and bawled me out for the illegal passing. I deserved that, but I am still fuming about the dispatcher's mistake. But hey, at least I didn't get a ticket! Learn from my mistakes: 1) I am not above the law just because I am married to a cop and work for a PD. 2) Don't walk into your brand new job proclaiming, "I would have been on time had I not been pulled over at gun point by the fuzz." They really look at you funny and it kinda makes you look bad....

The Crime of the Century

So I did a ride along with Close to Home PD and I had a lot of fun. This city would be considered a smaller sized one than many, with a population of about 70,000, and though there are many farms, and no malls it is growing fast. Among the brand new $400,000+ homes are the older ramshackle ones, the city probably wishes they could bulldoze. Main arrests here are for DUI, drugs, warrants and various 415s (disturbing the peace.) The majority of officer initiated radio calls are for traffic stops, but there is also a steady flow of citizens calling for service as well. Rarely does it seem there is a clear screen with nothing holding. I digress, so I am on my ride along with Officer Smiley and a call comes out for Js who were throwing bricks at cars and are now hiding in the cornfield, evading the SROs (school resource officers.) So we high-tailed it over there and when we show up there are about 5 patrol cars already there. Officer Smiely finds the last remaining suspect and as I watch from the car, all the officers cheer and start closed knuckling each other, (you know like high fives only apparently these days that is too much contact for manly men so they do the knuckle to knuckle thing?) And I am hiding a smile because their enthusiasm is endearing to me, (I can't picture Chris closed knuckling anyone after his first or third near miss shooting, and this was just finding some punks in a cornfield!) Turns out one of the guys has a $50,000 want for forgery and when the dispatcher tells the guys this, another round of knuckle knocking ensues. So I am watching this one officer pat down the 1015 (SIC) for weapons, and as the officer sticks his hand into the guys jacket pocket, he calls out to the other officer, "Wait, wait I think we've got something here..." Let me mention here that for this town, 5 police cars and about 7 cops, a detective and a K9 unit on the side of one of the busiest intersections in town is drawing quite the crowd of rubber neckers. Traffic is crawling as the citizens hope to see something juicy. I am thinking to myself, hey maybe for once they will see a show, just as the Officer pulls out a smooshed Big Mac and holds it up high in the air for all to see. "I've got him folks, I have got the Hamburglar!!!!!!!!!!" I think I am going to like these guys!

Can I go Home Now? My Brain is Full....

So I started at Close to Home PD yesterday (CPD) and I feel like I am going insane. Per dieming at Evil and Wonderful PD at the same time is very easy because the phones, codes, computers, pretty much everything besides the unit call signs are identical. Now at CPD the only thing the same as EPD/WPD is the Vesta phone system. Get this; the officers use 8 and 9 codes on the air, the computers take 5 and six codes to enter the call, but when the dispatcher says the call we use the penal codes...but no, wait sometimes we use 9 codes and the officers use penal codes...Huh????????????? It is so overwhelming. On top of feeling like I am listening to a foreign language, they use a beat system that is like liquid; it changes from hour to hour depending on how many officers are available. So for each call, even if you have worked there for years you, pick up a 5 page beat grid, look up the thomas guide # from the CAD screen, check the grid, then go to the line that has shows how many beats there are and scan across....blah blah blah blah, who cares. The point is: it is very time consuming and bizarre to me. Then there are the cool things. Every call's disposition is cleared with Y or N (report or no report.) That is awesome because you don't have to wade through a gazillion dispo choices. I love that officers here make their own call backs for RPs instead of calling me on the phone and having me call for them, which always leads to me tying up the air with, "caller needs to know....." questions. And fianlly my personal favorite so far; no constant tedious logging; what I mean is like prisoner milage and stuff, the officer says it on the air and my trainer said 10-4 but then she didn't type anything. I said, "Don't you have to log that?" She said, nope it is all recorded and I was like, SWEET! Now back to the negative, and sorry I am dumping so much, especially since I am really enjoying myself and am thankful for this opportunity, but if I can't vent to you guys, what is the point of this blog, right? Cool, alright, continuing on.... I am used to 10 codes, so it is really hard to listen to units doing common things and not understanding what they mean. It feels like they are talking gibberish (I can't even say what is you 20! ) So far the absolute hardest thing is all the different codes and the seemingly radomn/unrelated-ness of them. For example, if it is a burglary, why can't I say, "459" and then punch into the computer "459"? Nope I tell them it is a 933, knowing it is a 459 but put 581 into the computer. Isn't that crazy? And finally the all time WORST new thing about learning their "language": the keyboard is different! The keyboard! Just a few examples being, the enter key and the shift key are reversed, there are no scroll up/down keys and there is no delete key. It is so awkward. I mean it's kind of like a telling a baseball player that from now on he has to hit with his bat upside down---Sure if he is good, he can adapt but it will always feel wrong. It is really, really frustrating. I am really looking forward to knowing my shiznit again; I don't like the feeling of being lost and unconfident. What was cool was, within hours of starting, my trainer told a room full of people that I was, "ridiculously adept" and catching on really fast. Nice to get praise so soon, especially in front of cops. Well that is pretty much it for now. Next post I will tell you about my hilarious ride along. Goodnight!

PS: Amazing how one thing never changes, from agency to agency. I have gone from one end of the state of California to the other in my short illustrious dispatching career, and what was my first call? "I didn't call 911!" (Smile) Yup, I can do this.

The Life of Riley

It is time for me to tell Riley's tale (tail?). HotRodHanna's found kitten story inspired it.

Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a Princess/Dispatcher who felt like she lived way up on the sixth floor of the communications "tower." The fair dispatcher was called Rebecca. One night, very late, a young gang banger OD'd and died in his apartment. The young gang banger was not alone in his room, he had his new puppy in there too. An AKC red nosed pitt bull that he was going to use for breeding and intimidation. The young banger lived in an area where dog fighting and tying bricks around your Pitt's neck to bulk it up were common practices. What was to become of this poor puppy? Finally a hero arrived. The police were called in by a family member and a kind hearted officer rescued the puppy. The kind police officer could not keep her so he did a very wise thing; he sent a message via MDT to all the dispatchers in the whole tower that read, "Anyone want a 2 month old female puppy?" Now, the second I, er Rebecca saw this message her heart began to race. Rebecca thought, surely in a room full of 20+ dispatchers someone else will ante up......but just in case she wrote back, "If no one else takes her, I will." And held her breath as she hit the "send" key. Rebecca thought to herself, well even if I bring her home, I can find a home for her, I have found homes for nine other foster/rescue dogs so far, I can certainly place one more! After some time had passed Rebecca breathed a sigh, mixed with disappointment and relief, hardly missing a beat as she brought up the blinking message on the bottom of her screen that read, "She is all yours." Rebecca blinked in surprise. Oh my gosh what have I done? She thought, staring at the message. Slowly Rebecca got up for her break and called her husband, oh I mean, Prince. Rebecca was not worried about her Prince's reaction, after all five years ago, he had been the one to rescue and bring home 2 of their other dogs. Problem was; 1 planned dog (Xena) + one puppy abandoned at Walmart (Gabby) + one puppy abandoned in a Church bathroom (Bailey) + "a two month old female foster puppy yet to be named" = a Prince and a Princess who are out numbered 2 to 1! Oh well Rebecca thought, bring it on! Thus a 3 dog household became a 4 dog household and now 4 years later, they all live HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

Good Week or Bad Week?????

Chris has been shot at THREE times this week! Can you believe that. So last night after the second time, the Sgt. calls a critical debriefing and tells everyone to be real careful, the city is going to crap, etc.,(homicides last year at this time were at 57 this year there are already over 100), and not 5 minutes after Chris and his partner leave the station they get shot at again! I am thinking now is a good time to play the lottery! Tonight is his friday. One more night and I can relax for 2 days. Just one more night, one more night, one more night, onemorenightonemorenightonemorenight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yikes...That IS Pretty Bad....

So my husband was grumbling about being forced to partner up all next month with this guy we will call "J."

Me: Come on Chris, he can't be that bad, can he?

Chris: He pulled his asp out during the last code 3 cover call.

Me: Well that's good, shows he is not afraid to use it....

Chris: IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHOOT OUT!!!!!

Me: Holy crap!......So how much sick time do you have saved up?