What a Boob...

So we have a newish full time dispatcher here at WPD. To protect the innocent, I shall call her...Girlie. She is 23, and a sweetheart, but in some ways she is so very immature. I don't mean in a "let's get out the Barbies and play house" kind of way, but in the "I am still very unaffected by the world and am still learning appropriate social boundaries" kind of way. Should she ever happen upon this blog, please know the following story is told with no malice, you sweet child. First let me say, I don't know her very well, and at the time of this occurrence I really didn't know her at all. I was coming on shift to relieve her. She wasn't wearing our normal uniform polo shirt, but a zip-up sweatshirt. And now we begin:

Girlie: Hi! How was your drive? We had a pretty busy day. Do you like my new boobs? I just had them done.

Me: Hi. My drive was fine and... Say what?

Girlie: My boobs, they're new. Didn't you notice? I just got them done.

(Glancing quickly at said boob-le region)

Me: Oh wow. Yeah that's cool. Good....shape.

Girlie: I know, (closing the door to dispatch) Would you like to see them?

Me: Whoa, um I---

(Ziiiiiiiiiip. Out come the boobies)

Me: Oh my, huh. Wow. Yeah. Those are boobs.

Girlie: They still really hurt. I had to have my nipples re-placed into a better positionon. First the doctor took the nipple-----

Me: Wow! Yeah. That's amazing. They look great. Good job.

Girlie: They feel real. Would you like to feel them? You can feel them, I don't mind, it's OK.

Me: ... Um... Ok, sure. Why not...

(I poked at them experimentally with one finger.)

Me: Hey, look at that. Ok, well, you can zip up your sweatshirt now.

Girlie: You can really grab onto the whole thing if you want to.

Me: Nope. I'm good.

Girlie: (Disappointedly zipping up) Well, if you're sure.

Me: I'm sure.

If I had any hidden fears that perhaps I was a lesbian and didn't know it? ; they've been put to rest.

Get Me Judge Judy--Fast!!!!!

One year ago my dogs attacked and killed the neighbor's Chihuahua. I wish it didn't happen, I feel bad for the little dog, but here is a quick synopsis of what happened:

My dogs were confined to the part of the yard away from the Chihuahua's yard, because they were always barking at a different neighbor's dog. Honestly, my dogs never really paid attention to the Chi---Rat Dog. Anyway, the Rat Dog came into our yard, my dogs tore down the barricade and followed it into it's own yard and ate it. Literally. Anyways, I talked to the owner, apologized and told her "Absolutely!" when she told me I should pay for 1/2 the cost of repairs to the fence. I gave her my personal cell phone number and told her to call me with the amount. She never called, she never gave me a bill, or tried ANY kind of contact...until now. Now, she is taking me to small claims court for $7500. Are you kidding me? She never even tried to collect. Talk about going from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds. Isn't small claims court for people who refuse to pay? I didn't refuse to pay her. Ok, deep breath. I digress, she sent me a certified letter, full of emotionally manipulative statements of how traumatized she was, probably hoping for pain and suffering. One problem with that; you can't get pain and suffering in CA small claims court, only the amount to cover damages and only what you can prove. Sooooo, I have 10 days to reply, and I wrote a very courteous letter, telling her if she wasn't happy with me paying her for the fence as we already agreed, and what she paid for the dog, she will have to take me to court. I almost hope she does. Almost. I have so many pictures that prove my side of the story. She totally screwed herself by putting my personal cell # on the letter she sent me because, how else would she have that unless I gave it to her? No judge will believe I said, "I am not paying you! Now here is my personal cell # so you can call and harass me." I will keep you updated. In the meantime, I want to share with you the letter I composed, that I WISH I could send. But I won't.



Dear Liz,

What the @#$% ??? Are you kidding me? Who the @#$% do you think you are; waiting an entire year and then trying to extort $7500 from me? Where do you get off? Do you honestly believe you can prove that nine crappy plywood boards and a mangy, neglected, mixed breed Chihuahua is worth that??? If this goes to court, I’m thinking all that you are due is about 45 bucks max. And little “Princess” as you so aptly named her, was so neglected we felt sorry for her. Meeting a violent but swift end was far more merciful than spending one more day with you. That dog yapped night and day, begging for attention, so how dare you, now pretend you even gave a rat’s ass about her.
Let’s get back to the fence repairs, not only did you only replace nine boards on your fence, you didn’t even fix the right place! Not to mention, YOUR dog entered OUR yard! I can prove, that portion of my yard was cordoned off. Why? Because your stupid dog would begin barking incessantly every time my dogs walked by. Not only did your dog come into my yard first, it pushed the board into my yard, which I can prove by the sheer fact that my dogs do not have opposable thumbs. And another thing; my dogs are a pack, and therefore, when something as small as a rodent comes into their domain, they will kill it. Honestly, they probably thought the damn thing was a squirrel. And where did you get the figure "$7500?" Did you just pull that amount out of your a$$ or are you also charging me for your psychiatrist's visits; because that would make more sense. In closing, if you have anything further to add, you can kiss my a$$. See you in court, moron.

Sincerely,
Becca


Sigh. If only.

As a Matter of Fact

I have nothing to say police related. But I am at work and all is Qui----, oh, I almost jinxed myself. All is not... too busy. So I would now like to share some random facts about myself, my family and stuff. Here goes:

*I am terrified of heights, well more accurately, falling from great heights
*I hate seafood. My motto is "Nothing from the sea" Nothing.
*I have 4 dogs over 50 pounds (Xena, Gabby, Bailey and Riley)
*I have another blog, with a loyal following, about my journey with infertility
*My son's middle name is Danger. It really is.
*When I was 17 I lost my entire memory. I had meningitis and Epstein Barre
* I got most, but not all of it back, eventually
*I don't like fruits, vegetables or nuts. Good thing I was not born a squirrel
*My parents have been married almost 40 years. I take marriage very seriously.
*When we met on a blind date, Chris was in high school and I was a sophomore in college.
*I was kind of pissed at the guy who introduced us for not telling me he was younger, ahead of time, but I got over it.
*We waited 8 long years for Little Man
*I had to have surgery so I could concieve
*I had that surgery on Nov. 10th--the Marine Corps birthday, and Chris was very proud of me.
*After 8 years, I got pregnant the month after the surgery
*I had a medical condition during pregnancy called "Hyperemesis" which means "a lot of puking"
*From month 2-7 I threw up every day. My record was 35 times in one day
*According to my husband, I almost died in child birth. I really don't remember.
*Who dies in childbirth these days??? Honestly!
*It was all worth it, the moment I laid eyes on him.
*I didn't lay eyes on him for a while, because the nurses took him away so they could work on me.
*I nursed but I am not a "breast nazi." I think it is somthing that should be done discreetly. My view is: yes, breastfeeding is a natural bodily function, but so is urinating, and I won't be doing that in public any time soon, either
*I have nursing friends that will just whip out a boob wherever they are
*This mortifies me, but I love and support them anyway
*I was terrified I would get Post Partum depression, but I did not
*I have taken Zoloft for a chemical imbalance for ten years
*I do not see a therapist because, I have nothing to tell them
*I grew up in a wonderful Norman Rockwell type home.
*We did move around a lot
*By the time I graduated high school, I had gone to 9 different schools.
*Moving around a lot with Chris, in the military was no big deal for me.
*We used to be so poor when we were in the Marine Corps, that if we had the money to add hot dogs to our Mac n' Cheese we became really excited. We would sit at the kitchen table with our last $20 between us and debate: Dog food or Gas money. Every time Chris got a ride or walked 5 miles to the base.
*In many ways those were the best years of our marriage, so far.
*I was raised quite well off and while transitioning from that to being really poor. I had ONE huge melt down in a supermarket. It was over waffles.
*After I threw said pre-made waffles into the shopping cart, hysterically crying, "I had waffles before I got married, and I will have waffles NOW!!!!"
*My new groom wisely let it go.
*I find my husbands tattoos, VERY attractive
*Instead of an engagement ring Chris and I have identical tattoos, specially designed for us, in the form of a Celtic knot symbolizing "An eternal bond between two people"
*If I ever see our design on someone else, I will hunt down the tattoo artist
*I get so into the books I read, that if the character is in a bad mood, I get in one too.
*I won best comedic actress two years in a row in college, and competed against UCLA in a competition once.
*I am completely fulfilled writing scripts for, performing in and co-running my church's drama ministry.
*I am completely on fire for Jesus, and if a terrorist put a gun to my head I would die for my faith.
*I would also go down fighting. Because...
*I am a card carrying member of the NRA
*I am good mom, a good wife and a good Christian.
*I could do better at all three of the aforementioned
*I am really lazy and I hate that about myself
*Chris is training for a marathon, and I am desperately trying to get the motivation to work up to a 10K.
*I would settle for a 5K
*I may actually manage a nice 1 mile, fun run
*One time I ran in a 5k run and a small child in a cape passed me
*When I tried to catch up to him, he yelled, "No way, lady!" And I ate his dust.
*My dad (a marathon runner) who was in his late 50s at the time, ran the course over and over again to kill time while waiting for me.
*At the same race, by the time I stumbled to the end, they were packing up the finish line and had thought all the runners had gone home.
*I haven't really exercised since then
*I have one brother, 21 months older and growing up we were incredibly close
*He barely speaks to me now and it breaks my heart
*I am very, very, very close to my two brother in laws and my sister in law.
*It's just not same.
*There is a tiny kitten in a box behind me that an officer found, and it won't stop meowing
*I am wondering why cops always bring stray baby animals to dispatch
*I am thinking of a time, when I took a stray puppy home when an officer brought her in
*That reminds me of a story Chris told me about a time he was patrolling, saw some people surrounding a German Sheppard on the side of the street. He yelled for them, "Get back!" and ran in to assist the injured animal only to find out it was a toy stuffed animal.
*He was really embarrassed.
*I get sidetracked easily when I am telling stories.
*I love having good friends, and good conversation.
*I have to actively remind myself to shut up and listen to the other person who is talking
*Because I get sidetracked easily
*We can be talking about shoes and suddenly I will switch to talking about llamas. I was actively listening it is just that my mind jumps from topic to topic very quickly. So you say "I like these new shoes I bought." and I respond with, "Yes, they are nice. Did I tell you about the llama I saw?" Because my thought pattern went like this: I like her shoes/they are brown/brown like the color of a llama/llamas are funny/hey yesterday I saw a llama in the strangest place. And you may think I wasn't paying attention, but I really, really was. Actively.
*I can't stand people who are flaky. I only seem flaky, sometimes, but I am really not.

I am off in a 1/2 hour so I have to do some end of shift stuff. My oral board is on Thursday so I will post about soon after. Bye!

It is Time for the "Dye Pack" Story

Shortly after Chris got out of the Marine Corps, he was a roadside mechanic and I began my love affair with dispatching at Huge PD. Back then, I would come home and regale Chris with fascinating stories from my day. Back then, they were all exciting and unique to both him and me. Don't get me wrong, he still loves to hear about my day and my stories, but now he is a bit more seasoned. A bit jaded if you will. 9 times out of 10 his stories top mine all to heck. My stories no longer shock, appal or amaze him. But, back then, I would write down notes, all day long, reminding myself of calls I wanted to share with him. I would drive home, excited to tell him about my day. It was all so new and interesting for both of us. So here is an actual transcript of a conversation that took place in the 5150 household about 5 years ago. Completely accurate....(to the best of my memory):

Me: You would not believe what happened today!

Chris: What? [He has always been a man of few words.]

Me: You know that guy on the news? The Pale Face Bandit?

Chris: Ummm...

Me: You know! That guy who wears white stage make up, a brown wig and has been going around robbing all the banks in Huge City?

Chris: [A bit distracted] Oh, yeah that sounds familiar.

Me: Well, today he robbed the Huge PD bank, and this time, the teller put a dye pack in the money bag.

Chris: Oh yeah? How'd that work out?

Me: [Getting excited, trying to draw him in to my story] Well, he stole the money, drove off in a blue car, and then the dye pack went off. The dye went everywhere!

Chris: [Finally I have his full attention] Wow.

Me: Yeah, some witnesses saw everything. That dye pack? Well, it just exploded! All that blue ink went off all over his clothes and hands!

Chris: [Catching my excitement] No way, really?

Me: And his face! It exploded in his face!

Chris: Whoa, that is nuts!

Me: No, wait, wait, I got carried away, I don't know why I just said that. Let me start over. He got away, and then they caught him, because a dye pack exploded and got on his hands and clothes. Not his face, I am sorry I totally made that part up.

Chris: Wait. You made that part up?

Me: Yeah, I was just telling you what happened and I was imagining it all, and in my head I was seeing the dye pack explode in his face, but that part I made up. Sorry.

Chris: [Laughing] You just totally lied.

Me: No I didn't, it was an embellishment. To make the story more exciting. Besides, maybe it did go off in his face, I don't know...

Chris: You lied. You made something up. Period. Besides the story was exciting enough without making stuff up.

Me: Whatever. Po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe....

Chris: Liar.... Anything else you want to fess up to, about adding to the story?

Me: No.....Oh, well, I said the ink was blue, but I don't really know. I guess it could have been red or green... And I'm not sure what color the gettaway car was...heck he could have been on foot, or.....Wait...Where are you going?

Chris: [Walking away] Come talk to me when you are ready to tell the truth.

*****

And so, to this day Chris and my close friends, whom I have shared this story with ALWAYS ask me, "Is that a "dye pack" or did it really happen that way???" When I share an outrageous story. Sigh. That's what I get for trying to be an master story teller.

Ohhhhhhhhh, Baracuda!

So I was called to testify at a trial, which in my opinion is beyond stupid. Cops opinions on situations, matter, but not mine! As a 911 operator and dispatcher, I live by the motto, "They tell me, I tell you, you go." If you want to know what was said, go pull the tape, I am not paid to have original thoughts. So I had never testified before and I was feeling pretty confident. Even though the event in question had occurred months back, I had reviewed the call and by some miracle of God I actually remembered it as well. So I was up on the stand, and this 12 year old ADA begins questioning me. He was so green, stuttering and paper rifling, but I wasn't concerned, I had truth, memory and notes on my side. He finally sits down and this horrible female defense attorney stands up. Now I have seen enough episodes of Law and Order, and I was thinking I was prepared for anything. Besides, I barely did anything on this call. This lady called 911 and said her friend "Ted" just left the AA meeting drunk. Way to go Ted. So she gives us Ted's address and this is like the millionth "BOL for a possible deuce heading to XX location" I have given out. This one, however, is the only one where the "where's a cop when you need him" didn't apply. What I mean by that is; how many drunks have you seen on the road and wished a cop was around, but come on, lets be honest there just aren't enough of them to go around. I digress, so a Sgt. happened to be in the area and witnessed Ted pull into his driveway, then Ted walked into his private residence. The Sgt. and several other officers, based on the RPs info, contacted Ted, deemed he was drunk, then since the Sgt. had witnessed him driving they then arrested him on a DUI charge. Flash forward to this Defense Lady (or Dragon Lady. Either way she will be called DL.) So she stands up and is all syrupy at first, but I am ready for her. I remain calm and remember not to elaborate, just answer the question, (thanks Jack McMcoy!) Then the DL starts hammering me out of no where about what did I say and how did I say it. Then the worst thing happened. I remembered something while I was sitting on the stand that I had forgotten. So the second I said, "Wait, I just remembered...." She latched on to me like the blood sucking leech she was. Finally, exasperated, I said, "With all due respect, (not much), why don't you just pull the tape, if you want to know what I said and how I said it?" She went deadly still and pouted for a while before dismissing me. Soooooooooo, after sitting through the rest of the trial, me, the Sgt. and three other officers, were standing in the hall. We were discussing this female cop, who I will call "Jill" and I said to the guys, "That woman is an evil vindictive, b-i-t-c-h, who would eat her own young if given the chance. Right?" I couldn't figure out why they all went silent. I spun around and came nose to nose with the Dragon Lady. It's one of those moments where you feel all awkward but you know, the socially acceptable thing to do would be for both parties to ignore the comment and pretend/hope it wasn't overheard. Yeah, but that's just not me. So she is just staring at me and I say, "I wasn't talking about you, you know..." She just glared/huffed and stalked right by me. Guess I'll never know if it was because she overheard and thought I was gossiping about her or if it was because her probable cause hearing went down in flames. Either way, the good guys won.


PS. I get to take a break from training tomorrow night and work at Wonderful PD. Yeah!!!! Oh my beloved 10 codes I will see you soon. It is going to be soooo nice to not suck at dispatching again for a whole night.

Some Dispatchers (ME!!!) Should Remain in Their Seats...

Hello! As you may have guessed I threw myself headlong into training and that is why I haven't posted in a while. The prayers definitely have helped! I am doing sooooo much better. It is still hard and I have a ways to go, but my new trainer is confident in my eventual success. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to go to work soon, so I'll post more on Friday. Quick story first: I got called out into "the field" to assist an officer with a translation. (American Sign Language) The call came out as Eval for 5150. There was a possiblly homeless deaf woman who had brought in all of her property and sat down at a table inside of a carpet store and wasn't leaving. We were trying to determine if she was mentally fit and able to care for herself, how can we help her etc., Long story short, after TWO HOURS of interpreting I realized all the lady wanted, was help finding the right bus to catch! She just happened to have all of her worldly possesions with her because she was looking for an apartment. It wasn't my fault, she was giving me so much extra info, the idea got lost, but wow that officer must have thought I was the worst translator in the world!

Mary, Ocean, Robert, Ocean, Nora

Ever since falling madly in love with Super Troopers some years back, I love to hear RPs read the letters in plates or VINs out phonetically. (Remember Farva? "Peanut, Eunich....") Anyway I had a humdinger of an RP yesterday and even though my trainer was listening in, I couldn't resist asking this guy to give me the letters on the vin of his stolen vehicle, like that, "You know, Sir, if you come to a "C" you say cat, stuff like that..." "Oh, ok" he replies, quickly, and I think it will be interesting but I wasn't prepared to have to mute him so he wouldn't hear me gufawing.

Here goes:

M.o.r.o.n Guy: OK, I lost the plate. So the Vin number is: Jump, Cathy---

Me: Wait is that with a "C" or a "K"?

MG: "C ." Then, Adult, Wiffle Ball,

Me: Do I count the "Ball?"

MG: No. Then there are some numbers. Then the letter----

Me: Hang on. Go ahead and give the numbers to me also.

MG: OK. Two, um that starts with "T" like Tom

Me: Um, no just the letters phonetically

MG: Oh, OK Tom, Waffle, Oscar,

Me: Wait stop. Are you giving me new letters or are you spelling out the number two ????

MG: But I thought I----

Me: Let me explain again how to do this......[I explain again]

MG: "Got it. [tells me the #s] G as in Garbanzo beans, P like, oh, man...

Me: Paul? And let me guess, don't count the beans...

MG: Wow, you are really good at that! Ok, P like Paul---

Me: Another P? Or the same P?

MG: Another one. T like....Tea, B, like Bee...

Me: I am gonna just stop you there because now we have way to many numbers/letters.

MG: Oh, OK, from the beginning J like Jaywalking-----

Me: Just stop. Here is what we are going to do. Just say the letter and I will ask you if I can't tell what it is.

----------

My trainer must have thought that I was the real moron!

And now here is the cherry on my ice cream o' fun:

Moron Guy: Wait there is one other thing. I got a warning notice in the mail that if I don't move the vehicle soon, it will be fined for 72 hour abatement.

Me: The stolen vehicle you are reporting?

Moron: Yeah, what should I do?

Me: Weeeeeellll since the vehicle has been stolen, that means technically it has been moved, so how about we just don't worry about that right now.

Moron: (Doubtfully) ...OK....

I said it before, and I'll say it again....I LOVE MY JOB.

The Keyboard Can be a Dangerous Thing....

So, I am still sick. My doc thought I had mono, but turns out it was just a really bad viral infection crossed with a Sinus infection. I was so relieved to hear it wasn't mono cuz I had mono one time and it turned into meningitis and I lost my whole memory. That sucked. I digress. Since I have been off work for over a week, I got nothing new. However, I totally forgot to share my two favorite "Huge PD" stories! I may have already shared this, but I couldn't find it in my archives, so if you have heard this one before, chalk it up to the Nyquil, K? Here goes:

One time I was working the relief frequency and I sent a message around the room asking if anyone wanted a "quickie" which was what we called a bathroom break. One of the other dispatchers stands up and yells over to me, " You just sent that to every officer on the whole shift." Which was about 30+ officers. Needless to say I got quite a few MDT messages back. So many in fact, it flooded our system and I finally had to log off, in utter shame and humiliation.

Flash forward a few months I was down in the sally port gabbing with my favorite LT. I told him the above Hall of Shame moment and after he laughed, he said, "Yeah well that is nothing, I heard about this one dispatcher who didn't realize her mike was keyed and she was going on and on for so long, about her Friday night plans!" "Oh, yeah...." I replied, "That was me too...." And as he stared at me open mouthed, I added, "And for the record it was my Saturday night plans...." Ugh, mortifying!

[PS I looooove Deputy Weigel from Reno 911, but anyone else out there think they should add an insane dispatcher? Just me? OK, crawling back into my hole now.]

What am I Supposed to Think????

Those fishnets, those sassy heels, that naughty garter, I just don't know how I am supposed to take this... Ewe think ewe know someone and then something like this happens.....

Marriage in Crisis

After almost 10 years of marriage, TEN YEARS, this happens. What do I do? Do I confront him? Do I ask him if this is a one time thing? Was he just curious? Why did he save it? I am so confused. And a little jealous. This is real, I really did find the following picture saved among hundreds of recent pictures of Little Man. This is just.... I don't know what to say. I know he meets unsavory characters on his job. I know he gets propsitioned. But to have something like this in our own home. Did he meet her out there on the streets? How can I ever trust him again...Is she prettier than me? Smarter? What do you think of her?

I am an Ass

I cannot believe how dumb I was yesterday. File this one under "What was I thinking????" I was tired of squeaking in under the wire at my new job so I left super early. I got stuck behind this stupid semi truck on a deserted farm road. I fumed and then when I got into what I thought was the city I work in, I thought to myself, all my guys are in breifing, I can just pass this guy in the turning lane, no one will even notice at this hour. WRONG. Turns out I wasn't into "my" city yet. The SECOND I went to pass this truck (but I mean come one he was going 20 in a 50 zone...) Bam, lights and sirens behind me. I rolled down the window and said loudly to the approaching officer, "I am an ass!" All of the sudden he, listens to his portable, pulls his gun out and backs up, getting behind his car door. Turns out his dispatcher told him the plate was stolen. Not all dispatchers can be good, I guess. He approached cautiously and said, "Is your plate stolen?" And I said, (really good and pissed at his dispatcher, because of him/her, this officer is all jacked up and he has his gun out.) I yelled to him, "If your dispatcher was worth their salt, they would have said "one LOST, or stolen plate." I don't know if it was lost or stolen, it was just gone one day." At this point his dispatcher must have told him about my PD plates so he finally put his gun away and bawled me out for the illegal passing. I deserved that, but I am still fuming about the dispatcher's mistake. But hey, at least I didn't get a ticket! Learn from my mistakes: 1) I am not above the law just because I am married to a cop and work for a PD. 2) Don't walk into your brand new job proclaiming, "I would have been on time had I not been pulled over at gun point by the fuzz." They really look at you funny and it kinda makes you look bad....

Does That Make Me Craaaaazy?....Probably....

So I had my psych eval for "Close to Home PD" (CPD). And it went just fine. There are so many questions on those tests that you just wonder if anyone is ever stupid enough to be completely honest about them. I mean seriously, if a person did harbor secret attractions to small woodland creatures, has anyone ever marked the "True" bubble? I'm guessing, yes. My absolute favorite question of all the 2000+ questions was:

"My drug problem has never been an issue with my family life."

True! No wait, false cause I don't have a drug problem... No wait, if I say false it means it has been a problem.....Where is the "N/A" box????

I Got A Little Carried Away

In CA all cell phone calls used to go directly to the CHP. Ah, those were the days. Now all cell phone calls (are supposed to), go to the agency closest to the location of the tower. Yeah right. We are constantly getting other agencies 911 cells, and other agencies are constantly getting ours, but the worst are when we get CHPs. Why? Because you can be on hold upwards of 5 minutes waiting for a 911 call to be answered. My personal record on hold with CHP was 12 minutes. It is mostly because soooo many callers are calling about the same accident. I digress, a caller reported a pile up on the 101 and then hung up before I could transfer her to CHP. Great, I thought, now I have to wait on hold forever. Maybe someone else had already called it in, but you never know. So after 6 minutes on hold I am imagining the scene of the accident in my head, thinking of how it looks and what is going on, and how there are maybe no units onscene yet, and in my head it is getting bigger and more dramatic by the minute....

And finally:

CHP: Where is the location of your emergency

Me: Hi, this is Rebecca with EPD, and I have to report a 6 car pile up!

CHP: Oh my goodness, where???

Me: Wait, wait, wait, I totally made that up, let me start over.

CHP: Made it up? (Sounding confused) What do you mean?

Me: Actually the caller said it was just two vehicles, but I was on hold so long, my imagination took over, I am sorry.

CHP: (Laughing really hard) Well, that is why we do what we do, because we have great imaginations right?

Oh my gosh, thank goodness she had a sense of humor, but boy was I embarrassed!