Happy Anniversary to Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been blogging here at my 5150 world for one whole year, today! It has been so much fun and so therapeutic. I love reading all the comments, and I love visiting all of your blogs too. I feel honored that anybody reads or comments at all, and I feel so happy that I only got one mean comment so far. Yay! So, I raise my glass of apple cider, (I am at work) and I say, "Cheers! Here is to another year of blogging." Will you toast with me? I would love to get as many comments as I can, to celebrate. (And Ron, haven't you figured out by now; I have no shame?)

Sorting Out my Feelings **Updated***

This will seem very disjointed and probably quite boring. My oral board was exactly one week ago and before today I just kind of put my thoughts and feelings in a box and put that box on a shelf. I really just didn't want to think about the whole thing for a while. So now, I will take down that box, blow off the dust that has accumulated and see if I can make any sense of it.
I did not get the full time dispatch position at WPD. No I am not joking. The LT said it was because I live too far away, that they need someone who could be there much faster in an emergency, but there is another full dispatcher who lives twice as far as I do so... I have a lot of mixed emotions. I have been loyal to WPD since I was laid off due to budget cuts. To be honest, my gut level reaction is; I took this like a slap in the face. There is no one better qualified for the job because I ALREADY DO IT. So that means they didn't want ME. How is that supposed to feel? How do I take that? I don't know. My husband is far more pissed than I am. He says they have no loyalty. "Beck, this shouldn't have been you interviewing for an open position, this should have been them giving you your old job back. We never would have moved farther away if you hadn't lost your job in the first place." I see his point but I still feel conflicted. I am relieved because, though I would have gladly done it, the commute would have sucked. (It is one hour on a good day, 2 on a bad day.) Now I'll get to spend time with my toddler son until the per diem hours dry up in September and I have to find a full time job some where. I know I did really lousy on the oral board and I finally figured out why. Normally I nail oral boards. I have gotten jobs I was not qualified for because I interview really, really well. I totally sucked at this one. Hours later it dawned on me. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Two out of the 3 people doing the board know me. I didn't know if I was supposed to pretend they didn't know me and just sell the heck out of myself and my skills or tell them new stuff that they perhaps did not know about me. The end result was I believe I didn't give thorough enough answers because, I figured they already knew my answers. It made me feel very awkward and uncomfortable to be interviewed by a friend too. Instead of selling myself to a prospective employer I felt like I was bragging, so I downplayed myself. I really did crappy. In hindsight I wish I had asked "Am I supposed to pretend I don't know you, and you don't know me?" However, in all fairness, they should have told me how they wanted me to answer, before the interview began. I am having a hard time getting too worked up about it all because, I feel my heart just wasn't in it. I like working per diem and I prayed about the whole experience. I put my whole faith in: if God wanted me to have this job, I would have it. Period. So, yeah, my worldly side is pissed, hurt, confused, offended and annoyed but when I look at my spiritual side, I couldn't be happier. I truly believe if God wanted me to have it, I would have it. When I am supposed to be working, the right job will be provided for me.
This whole experience has been really strange for me. I haven't really had to go through anything like this before, and I am not used to it.
Further analyzing the issue; I am not in the slightest upset with my friend, the dispatch supervisor, who was on the oral board, for not choosing me. Not one bit. But she never called, texted or even emailed, as a friend, to check on me and that hurts a lot. Maybe she felt she could only wear one "hat" and chose the work one. I hope not. If she reads this (And thinking she probably would, made it hard to vent, but that is what this blog is for), I am asking her to please not comment on this entry. I would rather pretend she doesn't read this entry, at all.
Well, those are my rambling thoughts about the whole situation, and I am no closer to enlightenment or resolution, but I trust my God completely.
***Updated june 28th*** My friend/Supervisor never got the text I sent her (I sent it immediately after the LT called me and it said "I am not upset. I am actually kind of relieved. I am disappointed and confused but OK." I was hurt when I got no reply. My friend not only didn't get it, she didn't know I already knew I had not been chosen. She was told not to discuss it with me. So, I feel like a horses ass for not trusting in our friendship. I have always prided myself for being one to admit when I am in the wrong, and this is one of those such times.***
Now, I am going to go play with Little Man, and probably rewrite this later, saving this one as a draft, and try to write it in a funny or more interesting format. I am thinking of me, lying on a couch in a shrink's office...... Til later.

As a Matter of Fact

I have nothing to say police related. But I am at work and all is Qui----, oh, I almost jinxed myself. All is not... too busy. So I would now like to share some random facts about myself, my family and stuff. Here goes:

*I am terrified of heights, well more accurately, falling from great heights
*I hate seafood. My motto is "Nothing from the sea" Nothing.
*I have 4 dogs over 50 pounds (Xena, Gabby, Bailey and Riley)
*I have another blog, with a loyal following, about my journey with infertility
*My son's middle name is Danger. It really is.
*When I was 17 I lost my entire memory. I had meningitis and Epstein Barre
* I got most, but not all of it back, eventually
*I don't like fruits, vegetables or nuts. Good thing I was not born a squirrel
*My parents have been married almost 40 years. I take marriage very seriously.
*When we met on a blind date, Chris was in high school and I was a sophomore in college.
*I was kind of pissed at the guy who introduced us for not telling me he was younger, ahead of time, but I got over it.
*We waited 8 long years for Little Man
*I had to have surgery so I could concieve
*I had that surgery on Nov. 10th--the Marine Corps birthday, and Chris was very proud of me.
*After 8 years, I got pregnant the month after the surgery
*I had a medical condition during pregnancy called "Hyperemesis" which means "a lot of puking"
*From month 2-7 I threw up every day. My record was 35 times in one day
*According to my husband, I almost died in child birth. I really don't remember.
*Who dies in childbirth these days??? Honestly!
*It was all worth it, the moment I laid eyes on him.
*I didn't lay eyes on him for a while, because the nurses took him away so they could work on me.
*I nursed but I am not a "breast nazi." I think it is somthing that should be done discreetly. My view is: yes, breastfeeding is a natural bodily function, but so is urinating, and I won't be doing that in public any time soon, either
*I have nursing friends that will just whip out a boob wherever they are
*This mortifies me, but I love and support them anyway
*I was terrified I would get Post Partum depression, but I did not
*I have taken Zoloft for a chemical imbalance for ten years
*I do not see a therapist because, I have nothing to tell them
*I grew up in a wonderful Norman Rockwell type home.
*We did move around a lot
*By the time I graduated high school, I had gone to 9 different schools.
*Moving around a lot with Chris, in the military was no big deal for me.
*We used to be so poor when we were in the Marine Corps, that if we had the money to add hot dogs to our Mac n' Cheese we became really excited. We would sit at the kitchen table with our last $20 between us and debate: Dog food or Gas money. Every time Chris got a ride or walked 5 miles to the base.
*In many ways those were the best years of our marriage, so far.
*I was raised quite well off and while transitioning from that to being really poor. I had ONE huge melt down in a supermarket. It was over waffles.
*After I threw said pre-made waffles into the shopping cart, hysterically crying, "I had waffles before I got married, and I will have waffles NOW!!!!"
*My new groom wisely let it go.
*I find my husbands tattoos, VERY attractive
*Instead of an engagement ring Chris and I have identical tattoos, specially designed for us, in the form of a Celtic knot symbolizing "An eternal bond between two people"
*If I ever see our design on someone else, I will hunt down the tattoo artist
*I get so into the books I read, that if the character is in a bad mood, I get in one too.
*I won best comedic actress two years in a row in college, and competed against UCLA in a competition once.
*I am completely fulfilled writing scripts for, performing in and co-running my church's drama ministry.
*I am completely on fire for Jesus, and if a terrorist put a gun to my head I would die for my faith.
*I would also go down fighting. Because...
*I am a card carrying member of the NRA
*I am good mom, a good wife and a good Christian.
*I could do better at all three of the aforementioned
*I am really lazy and I hate that about myself
*Chris is training for a marathon, and I am desperately trying to get the motivation to work up to a 10K.
*I would settle for a 5K
*I may actually manage a nice 1 mile, fun run
*One time I ran in a 5k run and a small child in a cape passed me
*When I tried to catch up to him, he yelled, "No way, lady!" And I ate his dust.
*My dad (a marathon runner) who was in his late 50s at the time, ran the course over and over again to kill time while waiting for me.
*At the same race, by the time I stumbled to the end, they were packing up the finish line and had thought all the runners had gone home.
*I haven't really exercised since then
*I have one brother, 21 months older and growing up we were incredibly close
*He barely speaks to me now and it breaks my heart
*I am very, very, very close to my two brother in laws and my sister in law.
*It's just not same.
*There is a tiny kitten in a box behind me that an officer found, and it won't stop meowing
*I am wondering why cops always bring stray baby animals to dispatch
*I am thinking of a time, when I took a stray puppy home when an officer brought her in
*That reminds me of a story Chris told me about a time he was patrolling, saw some people surrounding a German Sheppard on the side of the street. He yelled for them, "Get back!" and ran in to assist the injured animal only to find out it was a toy stuffed animal.
*He was really embarrassed.
*I get sidetracked easily when I am telling stories.
*I love having good friends, and good conversation.
*I have to actively remind myself to shut up and listen to the other person who is talking
*Because I get sidetracked easily
*We can be talking about shoes and suddenly I will switch to talking about llamas. I was actively listening it is just that my mind jumps from topic to topic very quickly. So you say "I like these new shoes I bought." and I respond with, "Yes, they are nice. Did I tell you about the llama I saw?" Because my thought pattern went like this: I like her shoes/they are brown/brown like the color of a llama/llamas are funny/hey yesterday I saw a llama in the strangest place. And you may think I wasn't paying attention, but I really, really was. Actively.
*I can't stand people who are flaky. I only seem flaky, sometimes, but I am really not.

I am off in a 1/2 hour so I have to do some end of shift stuff. My oral board is on Thursday so I will post about soon after. Bye!

.....And the Police Will Get All the Paperwork

THE END

But You Know the Firemen Will Get the Glory!

And They are Going, Going, Gone...

Sorry Mr. Policeman, There's Nothing For Us to Do Here

The Ambulance has Arrived. Oh, no. Looks Like "C" is for "Coroner's Case!"

(Notice the tourist. Tee hee.)

Here Come the Firemen

Our Hero In Blue is the First on the Scene

Uh Oh, "C" is for "Crime" Scene...

Why, Yes, I DID Have too Much Free Time on my Hands...

I was walking through the room yesterday and I glanced down at what I at first thought was an intact, discarded Cookie Monster. Then I noticed the stuffing and those two little plastic eyes staring up at me from nearby. I looked at my dog, Gabby and she had a little Cookie Monster stuffing, caught in her whiskers. I busted up laughing, and thinking, I caught you! And then my crazy imagination took over. And the result is the following story. I really hope you enjoy it.

It is Time for the "Dye Pack" Story

Shortly after Chris got out of the Marine Corps, he was a roadside mechanic and I began my love affair with dispatching at Huge PD. Back then, I would come home and regale Chris with fascinating stories from my day. Back then, they were all exciting and unique to both him and me. Don't get me wrong, he still loves to hear about my day and my stories, but now he is a bit more seasoned. A bit jaded if you will. 9 times out of 10 his stories top mine all to heck. My stories no longer shock, appal or amaze him. But, back then, I would write down notes, all day long, reminding myself of calls I wanted to share with him. I would drive home, excited to tell him about my day. It was all so new and interesting for both of us. So here is an actual transcript of a conversation that took place in the 5150 household about 5 years ago. Completely accurate....(to the best of my memory):

Me: You would not believe what happened today!

Chris: What? [He has always been a man of few words.]

Me: You know that guy on the news? The Pale Face Bandit?

Chris: Ummm...

Me: You know! That guy who wears white stage make up, a brown wig and has been going around robbing all the banks in Huge City?

Chris: [A bit distracted] Oh, yeah that sounds familiar.

Me: Well, today he robbed the Huge PD bank, and this time, the teller put a dye pack in the money bag.

Chris: Oh yeah? How'd that work out?

Me: [Getting excited, trying to draw him in to my story] Well, he stole the money, drove off in a blue car, and then the dye pack went off. The dye went everywhere!

Chris: [Finally I have his full attention] Wow.

Me: Yeah, some witnesses saw everything. That dye pack? Well, it just exploded! All that blue ink went off all over his clothes and hands!

Chris: [Catching my excitement] No way, really?

Me: And his face! It exploded in his face!

Chris: Whoa, that is nuts!

Me: No, wait, wait, I got carried away, I don't know why I just said that. Let me start over. He got away, and then they caught him, because a dye pack exploded and got on his hands and clothes. Not his face, I am sorry I totally made that part up.

Chris: Wait. You made that part up?

Me: Yeah, I was just telling you what happened and I was imagining it all, and in my head I was seeing the dye pack explode in his face, but that part I made up. Sorry.

Chris: [Laughing] You just totally lied.

Me: No I didn't, it was an embellishment. To make the story more exciting. Besides, maybe it did go off in his face, I don't know...

Chris: You lied. You made something up. Period. Besides the story was exciting enough without making stuff up.

Me: Whatever. Po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe....

Chris: Liar.... Anything else you want to fess up to, about adding to the story?

Me: No.....Oh, well, I said the ink was blue, but I don't really know. I guess it could have been red or green... And I'm not sure what color the gettaway car was...heck he could have been on foot, or.....Wait...Where are you going?

Chris: [Walking away] Come talk to me when you are ready to tell the truth.

*****

And so, to this day Chris and my close friends, whom I have shared this story with ALWAYS ask me, "Is that a "dye pack" or did it really happen that way???" When I share an outrageous story. Sigh. That's what I get for trying to be an master story teller.

Here We Go.......

Wonderful PD has a full time opening, for police dispatcher. It is actually my same slot that was cut during a city budget crunch a while back. If I get my old job back, I'll even have the same badge. Oh how I miss the little nick on the bottom part of the state seal. I am totally excited. My husband and I talked, and now would be a good time for me to attempt to go back to work full time. So, without further ado, I thought I would share with you the little essay I wrote in the box that was for listing any additional experience that would make me a good candidate:

(Note: Man, I wish I had spell check on that application, I just realized I made like 4 really lame spelling errors)

I would like to take this space to tell you why I would be a great fit for this position. If I am hired, I will save the city of Wonderful a great deal of time and money. As I am currently employed by your city, doing the job for which I am applying, my backgrounds, training, and general hiring process, would be very abbreviated. Not only do I have almost six years of dispatch experience, much of it is with Wonderful. I would need minimal refreshers on policies and procedures, and have already passed Wonderful PD's extensive backgrounds, thus saving money, and by not having to train someone new, which takes on average 3 months, I could save Wonderful PD a good deal of time. I feel I am a great potential asset for Wonderful, as I am very familiar with the officers; I know them by their voice. This greatly increases officer safety, which is a dispatcher's number one priority. If one of the officers keys the mic requesting code 3 cover, but does not use his/her call sign, I am almost sure to recognize him/her. It would take a new dispatcher months to learn acquire this skill.

I did not voluntarily leave Wonderful PD, my postion was cut. Wonderful PD was wonderful to me when that happened; helping me get the lateral position at Evil PD.However, no other agency can compare to Wonderful Police. I have remained loyal and committed in my per diem position, and have waited for the time where I could once again apply for the full time position.

So, keep your fingers and toes crossed, and prayers! Lots and lots of prayers!!!!!

A 5150 EXCLUSIVE!!!!!!!!

You won't see these pictures anywhere else! I have a friend who is a Police Officer out in Oakland. He took these pictures from the freeway inter-change that collapsed. Don't know if the word got out in your neck of the woods but here in CA this was big news. A gas tanker, took a turn too fast and lost control. It exploded and collapsed part of the freeway. This is a MAJOR commuter nightmare out here, to this day, as this is the main route to get to the Bay Bridge which leads to San Francisco. The driver of the tanker suffered burns on his hands but was otherwise unharmed. No other people/vehicles were involved.

Picture one-Standing on one half of the freeway ramp looking across

Picture two-Standing on the edge of one side looking down at the ruble below

Picture three-Standing at the accident site, looking up to where the freeway is no longer resting on that big pylon

Picture four-Standing where the tanker blew, looking up at the burn pattern and the missing overpass

Pretty cool pictures, huh?

California Police Officers Memorial. May 3, 2007

Sorry I didn't post this sooner. I tore a muscle in my lower back. I have been laid up for over a week. I wish I could tell you I did it in some exciting way, perhaps in the throes of some heroic feat, during a daring white water rafting trip or something equally dramatic, but in reality, I did it while picking up a 50 pound bag of dog food. Sad.

The Memorial was really nice. What a huge turn out! I cannot believe how many different departments sent officers, it was impressive. I would guess over a thousand easy. I have added a few pictures and also another one of Ah-nold. The whole event was amazing. However, due to the fact that we knew one of the fallen, it was emotionally draining. I do have one negative thing to report about the memorial service and that is the choice of songs. When you are already missing your loved one hearing a song that has lyrics like, "I wear my grief like a heavy coat" and "I'll never see your smile again" and "I wonder what you would have named your babies" seem a little inappropriate. By the time they were done, I felt like jumping off a bridge. But that is a secular memorial for you. On Wednesday I went to a funeral for a Marine that was killed in action by a roadside bomb and it was a Christian service. The songs were uplifting, memories were shared and you left with a sense of hope. I prefer that way of remembering someone who dies. I digress. At the memorial it was soooooo sad to see some of the families. There was one family with 3 daughters ages 10-18 (East Palo Alto PD) and you can't help but think: none of them will be walked down the aisle at their weddings by their daddy. There was the young widow with a 7 month old (LA Sheriff, I think) and the one that really got me was the widow with the toddler boys with blond spiked hair just like my Little Man. The spouse of one of the SFPD officers murdered (they lost 2 this year) was there and it was so sad. She was spotless in her SFPD dress uniform; she was not just a cop's wife but a fellow officer as well. OK, I am going to leave this topic and move onto a new one. Wait til you see my next post. I can't wait for you to see the pics I got my hands on! Til later!

Some California Police Cars

GRRRRRRR......

For some reason I am having issues attempting to add all of my pictures from the CA police memorials. I decided to try this picture as a test, and it worked no problem. Bear with me I will continue to argue with blogger and my computer....

Arnie

You know what is funny? I was really close to our Governor, two times and you would never know it from these pictures. He seemed very nice and had good things to say. I didn't know his dad was a cop back in Austria, did you? One thing I have to admit about him though--he is really short.

For Those Who Have Fallen

Chris is in a caravan of Police cars from all over CA to Sacramento for this two day event. I am leaving very early, in a few minutes to meet him there. We will stay over and attend the next day as well. Our friend from the Marine Corps who became a CHP officer is one of the fallen. I will take lots of pictures for you guys and post them on Friday.