What am I Supposed to Think????

Those fishnets, those sassy heels, that naughty garter, I just don't know how I am supposed to take this... Ewe think ewe know someone and then something like this happens.....

Marriage in Crisis

After almost 10 years of marriage, TEN YEARS, this happens. What do I do? Do I confront him? Do I ask him if this is a one time thing? Was he just curious? Why did he save it? I am so confused. And a little jealous. This is real, I really did find the following picture saved among hundreds of recent pictures of Little Man. This is just.... I don't know what to say. I know he meets unsavory characters on his job. I know he gets propsitioned. But to have something like this in our own home. Did he meet her out there on the streets? How can I ever trust him again...Is she prettier than me? Smarter? What do you think of her?

Sick as a Dog

Oh man, we are so sick here in the 5150 Household! First Little Man got sick, then Chris, then me, then Chris got better and Little Man and I got worse. Ugh, I feel like my head is going to explode. Poor Little Man acts like we are sucking out his brains every time we use that nasal bulb thingy, (we call it the nose goblin retriever, I'm not sure what normal people call them). So Chris decides to see what all the fuss is about and he tried the bulb thingy on himself. He says, "Wow that is pretty horrible....But it does work. And I am not going to try that again." So, I will be back to post more soon, but for now, I am going to crawl back to bed with my new best friend, Green Death Flavored Nyquil.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I am an Ass

I cannot believe how dumb I was yesterday. File this one under "What was I thinking????" I was tired of squeaking in under the wire at my new job so I left super early. I got stuck behind this stupid semi truck on a deserted farm road. I fumed and then when I got into what I thought was the city I work in, I thought to myself, all my guys are in breifing, I can just pass this guy in the turning lane, no one will even notice at this hour. WRONG. Turns out I wasn't into "my" city yet. The SECOND I went to pass this truck (but I mean come one he was going 20 in a 50 zone...) Bam, lights and sirens behind me. I rolled down the window and said loudly to the approaching officer, "I am an ass!" All of the sudden he, listens to his portable, pulls his gun out and backs up, getting behind his car door. Turns out his dispatcher told him the plate was stolen. Not all dispatchers can be good, I guess. He approached cautiously and said, "Is your plate stolen?" And I said, (really good and pissed at his dispatcher, because of him/her, this officer is all jacked up and he has his gun out.) I yelled to him, "If your dispatcher was worth their salt, they would have said "one LOST, or stolen plate." I don't know if it was lost or stolen, it was just gone one day." At this point his dispatcher must have told him about my PD plates so he finally put his gun away and bawled me out for the illegal passing. I deserved that, but I am still fuming about the dispatcher's mistake. But hey, at least I didn't get a ticket! Learn from my mistakes: 1) I am not above the law just because I am married to a cop and work for a PD. 2) Don't walk into your brand new job proclaiming, "I would have been on time had I not been pulled over at gun point by the fuzz." They really look at you funny and it kinda makes you look bad....

The Crime of the Century

So I did a ride along with Close to Home PD and I had a lot of fun. This city would be considered a smaller sized one than many, with a population of about 70,000, and though there are many farms, and no malls it is growing fast. Among the brand new $400,000+ homes are the older ramshackle ones, the city probably wishes they could bulldoze. Main arrests here are for DUI, drugs, warrants and various 415s (disturbing the peace.) The majority of officer initiated radio calls are for traffic stops, but there is also a steady flow of citizens calling for service as well. Rarely does it seem there is a clear screen with nothing holding. I digress, so I am on my ride along with Officer Smiley and a call comes out for Js who were throwing bricks at cars and are now hiding in the cornfield, evading the SROs (school resource officers.) So we high-tailed it over there and when we show up there are about 5 patrol cars already there. Officer Smiely finds the last remaining suspect and as I watch from the car, all the officers cheer and start closed knuckling each other, (you know like high fives only apparently these days that is too much contact for manly men so they do the knuckle to knuckle thing?) And I am hiding a smile because their enthusiasm is endearing to me, (I can't picture Chris closed knuckling anyone after his first or third near miss shooting, and this was just finding some punks in a cornfield!) Turns out one of the guys has a $50,000 want for forgery and when the dispatcher tells the guys this, another round of knuckle knocking ensues. So I am watching this one officer pat down the 1015 (SIC) for weapons, and as the officer sticks his hand into the guys jacket pocket, he calls out to the other officer, "Wait, wait I think we've got something here..." Let me mention here that for this town, 5 police cars and about 7 cops, a detective and a K9 unit on the side of one of the busiest intersections in town is drawing quite the crowd of rubber neckers. Traffic is crawling as the citizens hope to see something juicy. I am thinking to myself, hey maybe for once they will see a show, just as the Officer pulls out a smooshed Big Mac and holds it up high in the air for all to see. "I've got him folks, I have got the Hamburglar!!!!!!!!!!" I think I am going to like these guys!

Can I go Home Now? My Brain is Full....

So I started at Close to Home PD yesterday (CPD) and I feel like I am going insane. Per dieming at Evil and Wonderful PD at the same time is very easy because the phones, codes, computers, pretty much everything besides the unit call signs are identical. Now at CPD the only thing the same as EPD/WPD is the Vesta phone system. Get this; the officers use 8 and 9 codes on the air, the computers take 5 and six codes to enter the call, but when the dispatcher says the call we use the penal codes...but no, wait sometimes we use 9 codes and the officers use penal codes...Huh????????????? It is so overwhelming. On top of feeling like I am listening to a foreign language, they use a beat system that is like liquid; it changes from hour to hour depending on how many officers are available. So for each call, even if you have worked there for years you, pick up a 5 page beat grid, look up the thomas guide # from the CAD screen, check the grid, then go to the line that has shows how many beats there are and scan across....blah blah blah blah, who cares. The point is: it is very time consuming and bizarre to me. Then there are the cool things. Every call's disposition is cleared with Y or N (report or no report.) That is awesome because you don't have to wade through a gazillion dispo choices. I love that officers here make their own call backs for RPs instead of calling me on the phone and having me call for them, which always leads to me tying up the air with, "caller needs to know....." questions. And fianlly my personal favorite so far; no constant tedious logging; what I mean is like prisoner milage and stuff, the officer says it on the air and my trainer said 10-4 but then she didn't type anything. I said, "Don't you have to log that?" She said, nope it is all recorded and I was like, SWEET! Now back to the negative, and sorry I am dumping so much, especially since I am really enjoying myself and am thankful for this opportunity, but if I can't vent to you guys, what is the point of this blog, right? Cool, alright, continuing on.... I am used to 10 codes, so it is really hard to listen to units doing common things and not understanding what they mean. It feels like they are talking gibberish (I can't even say what is you 20! ) So far the absolute hardest thing is all the different codes and the seemingly radomn/unrelated-ness of them. For example, if it is a burglary, why can't I say, "459" and then punch into the computer "459"? Nope I tell them it is a 933, knowing it is a 459 but put 581 into the computer. Isn't that crazy? And finally the all time WORST new thing about learning their "language": the keyboard is different! The keyboard! Just a few examples being, the enter key and the shift key are reversed, there are no scroll up/down keys and there is no delete key. It is so awkward. I mean it's kind of like a telling a baseball player that from now on he has to hit with his bat upside down---Sure if he is good, he can adapt but it will always feel wrong. It is really, really frustrating. I am really looking forward to knowing my shiznit again; I don't like the feeling of being lost and unconfident. What was cool was, within hours of starting, my trainer told a room full of people that I was, "ridiculously adept" and catching on really fast. Nice to get praise so soon, especially in front of cops. Well that is pretty much it for now. Next post I will tell you about my hilarious ride along. Goodnight!

PS: Amazing how one thing never changes, from agency to agency. I have gone from one end of the state of California to the other in my short illustrious dispatching career, and what was my first call? "I didn't call 911!" (Smile) Yup, I can do this.

The Life of Riley

It is time for me to tell Riley's tale (tail?). HotRodHanna's found kitten story inspired it.

Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a Princess/Dispatcher who felt like she lived way up on the sixth floor of the communications "tower." The fair dispatcher was called Rebecca. One night, very late, a young gang banger OD'd and died in his apartment. The young gang banger was not alone in his room, he had his new puppy in there too. An AKC red nosed pitt bull that he was going to use for breeding and intimidation. The young banger lived in an area where dog fighting and tying bricks around your Pitt's neck to bulk it up were common practices. What was to become of this poor puppy? Finally a hero arrived. The police were called in by a family member and a kind hearted officer rescued the puppy. The kind police officer could not keep her so he did a very wise thing; he sent a message via MDT to all the dispatchers in the whole tower that read, "Anyone want a 2 month old female puppy?" Now, the second I, er Rebecca saw this message her heart began to race. Rebecca thought, surely in a room full of 20+ dispatchers someone else will ante up......but just in case she wrote back, "If no one else takes her, I will." And held her breath as she hit the "send" key. Rebecca thought to herself, well even if I bring her home, I can find a home for her, I have found homes for nine other foster/rescue dogs so far, I can certainly place one more! After some time had passed Rebecca breathed a sigh, mixed with disappointment and relief, hardly missing a beat as she brought up the blinking message on the bottom of her screen that read, "She is all yours." Rebecca blinked in surprise. Oh my gosh what have I done? She thought, staring at the message. Slowly Rebecca got up for her break and called her husband, oh I mean, Prince. Rebecca was not worried about her Prince's reaction, after all five years ago, he had been the one to rescue and bring home 2 of their other dogs. Problem was; 1 planned dog (Xena) + one puppy abandoned at Walmart (Gabby) + one puppy abandoned in a Church bathroom (Bailey) + "a two month old female foster puppy yet to be named" = a Prince and a Princess who are out numbered 2 to 1! Oh well Rebecca thought, bring it on! Thus a 3 dog household became a 4 dog household and now 4 years later, they all live HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

Good Week or Bad Week?????

Chris has been shot at THREE times this week! Can you believe that. So last night after the second time, the Sgt. calls a critical debriefing and tells everyone to be real careful, the city is going to crap, etc.,(homicides last year at this time were at 57 this year there are already over 100), and not 5 minutes after Chris and his partner leave the station they get shot at again! I am thinking now is a good time to play the lottery! Tonight is his friday. One more night and I can relax for 2 days. Just one more night, one more night, one more night, onemorenightonemorenightonemorenight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yikes...That IS Pretty Bad....

So my husband was grumbling about being forced to partner up all next month with this guy we will call "J."

Me: Come on Chris, he can't be that bad, can he?

Chris: He pulled his asp out during the last code 3 cover call.

Me: Well that's good, shows he is not afraid to use it....

Chris: IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHOOT OUT!!!!!

Me: Holy crap!......So how much sick time do you have saved up?

Tell Me, You Did NOT Just Say That !

When Chris got out of the police academy, I had already been a dispatcher for almost 2 years, so I found some of his early snafus and mishaps quite funny and endearing. One day while Chris was still on "break in", he came home from a long day and told me the following story. He and his FTO were on the freeway running out plates, so he could practice his phonetics and get used to giving information to the dispatchers over the radio. He called in a plate, that had the above image in the center of it. (Note: when calling out a plate like this, you ignore the images, and read them out like they aren't even there.) Well, Chris not knowing how to read it, said: "Sam, Adam, Mary......(Huge open mic'd pause)....Kid's tiny hand......One, two, three." While he told me about the massive ammount of radio clicks he got and how his Training Officer's jaw dropped, I about wet myself laughing.
Hmmm.....Maybe you have to be a California dispatcher/cop to find this funny.... [Bet you "got" why this was so funny, huh Hotrodhanna?] Shoot, howdy I'd a paid a lot to have seen his dispatcher's reaction!

The Ideal Place to Send Some of my RPs......

Finally, I can send some of those, seemingly un-help-able citizens to a place, where they can get the help the truly deserve, er, need.....

Please Hold While I Transfer You To.....Anyone But Me

A caller today said, "I have a general question that is quite specific...." I just didn't have the patience and immediately transfered her to the records clerk. Does that make me an ass, since that poor lady is overworked/underpaid. Yeah, but I'd do it again in a heart beat! Mwoooha ha ha ha!!!!!! (Evil laughter)

SWAT (Sit, Wait, and Talk)

Oldie but goodie from HPD: If you are going to call out a full SWAT assignment and yell out commands for hours and hours on your mega-phone-thingy to an armed and dangerous suspect, holed up inside his home.......MAKE SURE HE IS ACTUALLY THERE!!!!! 16 hour stand off ended when they raided the house, only to find it empty. The suspect didn't slip out un-noticed; he was never there! Whoops.

This is Pitt Bull-@#$%

This is my message for today: "People of earth: not every dog running loose in the streets is a Pitt Bull! I understand you are frightened but when you tell me the dog out your window is blonde with floppy ears, you are describing a lab and when you tell me it is a big black dog with tan dots over its eyes that is called a Rottweiler. Do you people not understand that Chows are the most dangerous dogs known to man? Sure they look like fuzzy teddy bears but they are insane....Where was I? Oh, yes, when you, citizens of the towns I work in, claim in hushed tones that the barking dog you can't see 6 streets over is a Pitt Bull, all respect I had for you goes out the window. As my annoyance grows, so does the time you will have to wait for an officer to respond. If you only knew that your amatuer dog breed analysis, made me react slower instead of faster, perhaps you would keep your Pitt hating comments to yourself." OK I am done with my rant. I know there are some mean Pitt Bulls out there, I get that, but that is usually because of bad owners and yes, sometimes bad breeding, but to write off and entire type of dog is just lame. To back up my claim, I have added a few pictures of Riley. She is my widdle cuddle bunny and she LOVES kids. I don't leave them alone together, I am not a moron, but I also don't live in fear of her attacking. Please show a little love to a breed that has gotten a bad rap.

Does That Make Me Craaaaazy?....Probably....

So I had my psych eval for "Close to Home PD" (CPD). And it went just fine. There are so many questions on those tests that you just wonder if anyone is ever stupid enough to be completely honest about them. I mean seriously, if a person did harbor secret attractions to small woodland creatures, has anyone ever marked the "True" bubble? I'm guessing, yes. My absolute favorite question of all the 2000+ questions was:

"My drug problem has never been an issue with my family life."

True! No wait, false cause I don't have a drug problem... No wait, if I say false it means it has been a problem.....Where is the "N/A" box????

Maybe I am 5150.....

True of False question on my Psych Eval today:


I am terrified in a windstorm.



..................Say what?

I am just curious if I had said yes, does that make me unfit to dispatch police officers? Perhaps just during windstorms.....More later.

11-99 Officer Down

I don't know what to say, I am not OK, today. Another CHP officer was killed a few days ago. This is a friend of my husband's. Someone he knew in the Marine Corps. We will travel to attend his funeral on Thursday. His wife is a former Marine wife, cop wife and police dispatcher, just like me. She is living my worst nightmare. Pray for the CHiPies, they are understaffed and overworked, and lately, they are dropping like flies.

Things That Make You Go.....What The ------????

I asked an RP of the guy who robbed him: "What race was he? White, Black, Hispanic or Asian?" and he replied, "Yes, that is right!"....Ummmm...I didn't know how to rephrase that question to make it more clear...

Malfunction, Malfunction, Malfunction

True story from when I was at Huge PD: Imagine a massive SWAT call out, with a dangerous felon barricading himself inside a small house, reportedly armed to the teeth. Wisely the decision was made to send in the new ultra high tech, majorly expensive robot. The plan was, that one of the specially trained SWAT members would remotely control the robot into the house, and over a radio built into the robot, the suspect would be given instructions to place the weapons onto a tray-like recepticale attached to the front of the robot, thus safely diffusing the situation. Unfortunately the plan was foiled, when after being deployed into the house, the ultra high tech, majorly expensive robot got tangled up in the suspect's drapes.

Oh, Little Radio Console, So Brave and True....

I sure missed coming to work this week! I know, I know, you think I am a total whack job, but me and Danger (not his real name, it's his middle name), have been sick and I have been completely stir crazy at home! Tonight, (and tomorrow night, and Friday night), I am working at Wonderful PD. I love it here. Just the fact that there is a bathroom here in dispatch, makes me love this place! What can I say, I am easily satisfied!

Officer "M" just brought his K9, into dispatch without warning me. I just saw this hulking form come running in. Then he jumped on me and slurped my face. I just about peed my pants. I keep telling him, you gotta warn me! Love that dog though. I have four big dogs at home, and so the K9 is always facinated with sniffing my shoes.

Not much happenin' here tonight, but I won't say the "Q" word, just in case. Is it just me, or does any other dispatcher out there, just hate getting barking dog and other noise complaints on 911? Even though I am the only one here, I still make them call back on the non emergency number most of the time, just for the principal of it. Well, that is all for now, til later!