My 5150 World

That's All Folks....For Now, Anyway

2007-11-29T16:53:00.000-08:00

Hello gentle readers, at least for now, this blog will be going on an extended vacation. I am not abandoning it; I love this blog. I am not going to take it down and I will still comment on yours and see how you all are doing. The reason is, as far as Law Enforcement realted material goes, I am all tapped out. I still work on call, for Wonderful PD, but I have not worked in almost 2 months. One of the officers is on light duty and he has taken over the shifts I would normally work. No work means no LE stories. Technically, I could write life stories, but I have a different blog for that, which I completely neglected for this one. Also, I really want this blog to just be PD related. So, it is with a heavy heart that I sign off. I promise, when I pick up any shifts at WPD I'll write again. Thank you so much for being a part of this blog. Sincerely, Rebecca C.

I AM SPARTACUS ! ! ! ! ! !

2007-11-06T15:09:00.000-08:00

An excerpt from a letter sent to my personal email address:

"Rebecca, you wrote on your blog (which seems to be abandoned):"5150 is California Welfare and Institutions Code for the lights are on but nobody is home."How can you call yourself a professional, let alone a Christian, with a snide remark like that? Major depression is a medical illness that affects 15 million Americans adults per year. "

Allow me to answer: I feel I have earned the right to describe "5150" any way I want, being is that, I AM one of the 15 million Americans who has been diagnosed with Major Depression. I fight and win that battle on a daily basis. I choose to laugh rather than cry as my own form of therapy. Do I truly care about the mentally ill? I have personally wiped the bubbling foam from a mentally ill person's trachea tube Sunday after Sunday at church services held specifically for the severely physically and mentally disabled. My father is a (LCSW) psychologist, and I grew up on the grounds of a state institution for the mentally ill that he was in charge of, so I feel I have more experience then many, and certainly a more unique viewpoint than most. Should I go on? I lost my entire memory to a medical illness and was nearly, mistakenly, 5150'd myself, years ago. More? How can I call myself Christian? Being, a Christian means I have been saved by the blood of Jesus Christ who died for my sins and yours. Period. It does not mean I am perfect. As a Christian I would never, purposely cause another person, mental anguish. I feel quite certain, my blog has not truly caused you mental anguish; it is about innocuous as they come. In the interest of fairness, Daniel, I have posted your entire email. It is your side of the story in total and I respect it, but you are barking up the wrong tree, coming after me as not understanding the true nature of mental illness. How can I, tritely say what I say in my blog? Because I stand before you personally WITH MY OWN LIGHTS ON AND NOBODY HOME. Thank you for the email and the material.

"Rebecca, you wrote on your blog (which seems to be abandoned):"5150 is California Welfare and Institutions Code for the lights are on but nobody is home."How can you call yourself a professional, let alone a Christian, with a snide remark like that? Major depression is a medical illness that affects 15 million Americans adults per year. Over 10 million Americans have bipolar disorder. Schizophrenia, another medical illness, affects 2 million American adults. Two to 5% of American adults have panic disorder. The aggregate numbers are alarming.Are all of these Americans "crazy?" "Loons?"Only to the untrained and ignorant.Many, many times I have witnessed California's 5150 (72-hour hold) being abused by peace officers; officers who show little to no compassion for people with bona fide medical illnesses. People are routinely humiliated, demoralized, and traumatized by being handcuffed and treated like a prisoner -- all of which stems from simple, but widespread, ignorance.So the tone, title, and subtitle of your blog does not come as a surprise to me. God forbid that you or a loved one ever have to experience any of the illnesses, whether listed above or not, at some point in their life.And spare me the public safety lecture. I've worked in EMS for years.Hoping you see the light,Daniel"

America's Finest Unsung Heroes

2007-10-29T16:07:00.000-07:00

The following entry was written by a dear friend of mine. He works at San Diego Police and this picture was taken from the Communtications building.

"Another trajedy has come and gone.

Communications worked their tails off during this event.

We really are America's finest dispatchers and we proved it this week.

Of course there was a lot of chaos, lots of barking orders, but in the end, we made it seem effortless.

We stayed out of the news, which is a good thing. That shows we were doing our job.

There was one sign that disturbed me. It was outside room #213.

It said "food for officers and volunteers only"!

Some things never change!

Thank You my friends for your excellent work! I feel proud to work at SDPD."

My friend reads this blog, so if you would like to leave a message for him and the SDPD dispatchers, I am sure he'd pass it along. Thanks!

That May Take a While......

2007-10-16T15:41:00.001-07:00

We had a caller, that threatened suicide. Means? By hypothermia. Now I'm no expert, but how? Why so specific? Why that? What???? Where I live, and where I work, it doesn't even snow. Last night I think it was like, 55 degrees out. All I could picture is some poor, lonely guy filling up his bathtub with ice, and sitting patiently. Is it just me, or is that odd? Dispatchers, cops and family, I would LOVE to here some funny stories, on such and un-funny topic. Got any?

***Honorable Mention****

The following was in the comments section of this blog, but it deserves to be spotlighted. It waaaaay tops my story for humor and creativity. Way to go Stacy!

I was dispatched to an "Attempt by candy bar" once. I was like "What the???" We get on scene an a trooper walks over to me laughing his butt off and goes "He is a diabetic and he says he will kill himself by eating a candy bar if we don't leave." So I walk in and asked him what was going on and he was like "Come any closer and I'll eat it!!! Don't think I wont!!!!"I was like "Hey you know what? I was just getting ready to eat my lunch when they called us and I am really really hungry. Can I have a small bite of your candy bar?" and he goes "Ooooh sure of course" and handed it to me. I proceeded to hand it to the cop who threw it away haha. The guy was like "Awww I can't believe I fell for that." The cops were all upset that they didn't think of it first and transported the guy to cpep. It was pretty funny.

Keep 'em coming guys! These are great stories.

The Deerly Departed

2007-10-07T21:20:00.000-07:00

I have told a deer tail or two, in my time. As I mentioned before, they run a bit rampant in Wonderful City. I have told of a time where I got 7 calls for an injured deer while at the same time one block away I only got one call of a man down on a busy street corner. I recently told the tail of the woman cavorting in the middle of the night with a deer that was, well, cavorting in the middle of the night. But this tail, takes the cake.

A deer was run over, or heck perhaps it died of natural causes, but it ended up at the 2600 block of the major avenue. This all started at 0715hrs. It started slowly at first.

"Hi I'd like to report a dead deer at the 2600 block of Main Ave."

"OK, no problem, I'll call the Humane Society and they will pick it up."

Soon after, "Hello, you need to send someone out fast, there is a dead deer out here and it is right in front of the middle school. The children are going to see it!"

"OK, no problem, the Humane Society has been called."

"Tell them it's an emergency!"

Now in the beginning, I asked, why? Why is it an emergency? By the 10th call, I just said OK.

Our Chief was out patrolling, (Totally cool, right? He was doing traffic stops and everything.)

Then he called in a dead deer. Et tu?

Next I got a hysterical caller that wanted us to change the position of the deer because, "It's legs are sticking straight up and that is just upsetting!" Great, I can only imagine the calls we'd get for re-positioning a dead deer....

Later still, (the Humane Society was very busy and this was considered low priority), a woman called because, "There are men in a white van moving a dead deer! They're MOVING IT!!!" "Yes, ma'am they notified me they just trying to help by moving it out of the flow of traffic." "Can they do that??????" She cried, clearly very upset. "Um, sure, if they want to." I answered. I am still not sure why that was so upsetting to her.

About a dozen more dead deer calls later, (that seemed to be increasing in urgency), an Officer came up on the air with a "Callout for Department of Public Works." Before I even thought about it, I said, "Go, ahead.....Unless you are reporting a dead deer...." The officer called me up a moment later laughing and said, he was going to put a sign on top of the deer that said, "I AM OK, I HAVE GONE TO A BETTER PLACE" The Humane Society must have finally came and picked up the deer shortly after that, because at 2:45 in the afternoon, the dead deer calls finally stopped. Whew, just in time. I can only imagine the frenzied callers, if it had still been out there when school got out! Venison, anyone?

I am So Proud

2007-10-02T14:05:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of my brother Jim. He sent the picture from his cell phone, with the text, "New bike, new ticket." [Wiping away a tear] I'm just so darn pround. [Sniff]

Is it just me, or is the CHP officer a bit... fluffy for an officer?

I'll write more soon...

2007-09-26T15:20:00.000-07:00

I only have a moment or two, so I would like to share a couple of quick ones:

Said by my favorite salty officer when clearing a barking dog complaint:

"Me and the dog reached an understanding, and he agreed to my terms. Advised, cooperative. 10-8"

"I'll be out with a couple of independent strawberry entrepreneurs."

Later I dispatched this same officer to a hot call. I was a little rusty due to lack of recent shifts, so I was so proud that I remained calm, relayed the suspects descriptions, and no weapons mentioned, past contacts, etc. When I finally un-keyed the mic to take a huge relieved breath, the officer said,

"That's all great, but where am I going?"

I forgot to tell him where to go! Duh, that's dispatching 101: Location, location, location. Mortifying.

Pop Quiz Hot Shots

2007-09-22T15:55:00.001-07:00

First person to tell me why it is a CRIME that gas prices have reached $2.86 wins..... the admiration of their peers.

Hint: $2.61 would have been even funnier

Wadical? Let 'er Rip

2007-09-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

I get emails of comments so that if someone comments on something older, I'll still see it. I found this comment on my "24 Beers in a Case, 24 hours in a day...Coincidence, I think not" entry. It was written yesterday at about 7pm. I left the spelling errors, censored the language a bit. Obviously this guy thought he found a different kind of site. I was going to delete it, (I did delete it from the post) then I thought why not have a little fun. Wadical, you are so much better at this kind of thing. Do you mind responding to our wayward visitor from Trenton, New Jersey? (Thank you Statcounter, you are both incredibly creepy and very useful.)

Anonymous said...

cops suck there dirty and there d**ks for no good reason.... because they think there better than the law.....complete bulls**t. i had a cop tell mer personally he saw a coke dealer driving around and he knew he was a dealer and so the cop pulled him over and smashed his tail light with his flashlight so he would have a reason to pull him over. Thats so d**k you cant do that its completely illegal. that code 7 picture..is that really right to have that many police in one place honestly its just a huge waste of $ and resources.

Wight Wing Wadical said...

(Knuckles Cracking...get the kids out of the room.)

First of all, I got no respect for "ANONYMOUS" contributers who have such limited vocabulary that they must resort to no less than 3 obscenities in the course of one very poorly constructed paragraph. From the content and quality of your composition, it is obvious that you're approximately ankle deep in the gene pool, drawing into question both the validity of your claim as well as your assessment of it. But let us assume for one moment (for the sake of your pathetic argument) that what you "say" happened "actually" happened and that you're not just recalling some episode of Reno 9-1-1 you watched while cranked up on some of that "coke" you're so concerned about being unmolested in its distribution. Let us assume for a fraction of a moment that it would be preferable for a community to have coke dealers on the street "driving around" without any fear of coming into contact with the local constabulary....WHO GIVES A CRAP? The dealer, his customer and Jesse Jackson, that's who! You ain't Jesse Jackson, so I guess that kinda narrows it down now doesn't it? Because I assure you that a staggering majority of the tax paying, job holding, registered voting, citizens who actually choose to contribute to the Gross National Product rather than suckle from its worn out teat certainly don't give a tinker's damn about their friendly neighborhood crack dealer's tail light nor his civil liberty to roam the streets! You consider it "...so d**ck" and "...completely illegal". I consider it more like... "pass interference in the end zone". In other words, "acceptable" considering the alternative would be that the crack slinging malcontent would complete his transaction unfettered thus contributing (in no small part) to the decline of the community who's responsibility it is for the offending police officer to protect and serve.When you choose to live outside the law, you forfeit your right to cry "foul" when a rule is cracked to catch you doing so. Go back to sleep, "Anonymous", if your local supplier gets locked up there will, no doubt, be another who is willing to step up and take his place.

Breastfeeding in Not a Crime

2007-09-19T16:11:00.000-07:00

This post will seem totally out of left field, but not to me. Today I have got babies on the brain. (Still no luck on that front BTW.) I have previously mentioned my stance on nursing; I know it is a natural bodily function, but so is urinating, and you won't see me doing that in public, either. Earlier today I was cuddling with Little Man, and he is getting so big! I was thinking back to when he was a newborn and this story popped into my head. This may be one of those "you had to be there" situations, but really, when has that stopped me before?

So we have a Sgt. who is a very good cop, but he is very strict with dispatchers. I was working an 8 hour shift and I asked the Sgt to please come into dispatch.

Me: Sir, I need a 20 minute break.

Sarge: You already had your lunch break, so I'm sorry, you can't have a 20 minute break. I'll get an officer to give you a bathroom break if you want.

Me: Um, I am going to need a little more time than that.

Sarge: Why?

Me: I just need more time.

Sarge: Well, you are not entitled to another break.

Me: Well, technically, that's the point. This kind of break I am entitled to.... [Boy I didn't want to spell this one out, I am so private about such matters.] You know? [I begin pleading with my eyes, chanting in my head "dontmakemesayitdontmakemesayit"]

Sarge: No, I don't know.

Me: Um, sir? You have daughters right?

Sarge: [Not following my train of thought]...Yes

Me: And your wife...did she, well, you know, um.

Sarge: What?

Me: [Practically shouting] Nurse! Nurse ! Did she nurse!

Sarge: [Shouting back]: OH! Oh! [ He turned red, accidentally looks at the boobs in question, gets more flustered and begins talking to the ceiling] Oh, yes Mrs. Sarge did that! That is the most natural thing in the world. You know, it is so natural that---

Me: Yes, yes, [cutting him off because I am absolutely mortified] So...?

Sarge: Oh, no problem, absolutely no problem. I will get an officer in here immediately.

Me: There is no rush, I just needed to warn you so arrangements could be made.

Sarge: Not a problem! Officer S will be in here at 9pm promptly so you can pu----

Me: Thank you! Thank you, sir. Sorry for the hassle. There is no need to tell Officer S why. I'll be as quick as possible.

Then at 8:55pm Officer S walks in. Officer S is one of my favorites. He is a salty dog and he is not a softie by any stretch of the imagination, so right away his gentle demeanor was making me nervous!

Officer S: So, go ahead and take your time. Um, feel free to use the bathroom at the end of the hall, it's bigger. Perhaps, if you like, you can, um, light some candles and maybe play some soft music, or something.

At this point, I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.

Me: No. I'll be back in 20 or less. Thank you.

Officer S: No, problem, it's the most natural thing----

Me: Thank you!

Anyway, after this embarrassing incident, I didn't take any more shifts until I was done nursing. It was a pain all the way around, and although the agency was wonderful as usual, I just felt weird about asking for special time. Told you it was a random entry!

Welcome Gentle Readers, New and Old

2007-09-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

I would like to take a moment to thank all of my loyal readers. You guys, are so awesome. I love that there are so many other cops and dispatchers who share similar experiences. I would also like to take a moment to welcome all the new readers from the command staff at Wonderful PD, and some old friends from Huge PD. I really like this blog. I like the feeling of venting and commraderie that I get with other people out there who "get it". I have so many stories to share from the 4 very different PDs I have worked at, my own life stuff, and stories from my husband's job. This blog is my creative outlet. It's mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. And, as it is mine, I reserve the right to exaggerate real life events to make them more enjoyable to the reader. At times I have taken two stories and blended them into one. I have always changed names, times and skewed actual events just enough to protect my privacy both at home and on the job. Be forewarned, comments on my entries are welcomed and encouraged. However, any comments that I feel are inappropriate, or I feel may lead to discocery of my location at home or at any of the jobs I have ever worked, (past and present), will be promptly deleted. Then, my husband will hunt you down. Just kidding! Or am I...That said, allow me to share my latest bonehead moment.

I sent Officer F on what I thought was just a usuall Citizen Contact/Officer Assist. Later from talking to the caller I realized it was a potential officer safety/5150 contact. So I said:

Officer C to cover Officer F due to his unstable nature.....[Long open miked pause as I realized how that sounded]... Clarification the caller is unstable not Officer F....

Geez! And that's what happens when I go a month without working, I get rusty!

A Vicious Circle

2007-09-14T03:16:00.000-07:00

The entire police department received the following email, which began like this:

"All Sworn Personnel,

Hostile Work Environment/Sexual Harassment Prevention training and Taser Deployment training will be conducted on Friday..."

That's as far as I went, and I just couldn't stop laughing. Are they combining those classes? Are they going to taze the people who are sexually harassing others? And wouldn't that in effect create a hostile work environment? It's 3 am, I honestly have no idea if that is as funny as I think it is, or if I've gotten loopy. I'll tell you after I attend the class tomorrow morning. Boy I'll be careful what I say though. "Morning, Sarge, you look nice today." TZZZZZZZT. "Ahhhh! I take it back! I take it back!" Oh, man I've got the giggles now.

Me Talk Real Good

2007-09-13T21:55:00.000-07:00

The problem with going one entire month without working, is that I get rusty. I get my rhythm back pretty quickly but sometimes, I just make an A$$ of myself.

I had sent officer M to a call, that seemed to be a single officer, kinda lame Citizen's Assist/Outside Agency Assist call. I then determined I should send a back up unit due to some additional information. So, I said:

"Unit 1 to cover Unit 3 due to his unstable nature.....[long pause as I slowly realized how that sounded] Clarification, the caller is unstable not Unit 3... "

Sigh, yes I am that talented a dispatcher.

Let's Be Realistic

2007-09-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

I haven't had many shifts recently, hence my lack of posts. I just completed a class on Hostage Negotiations for Dispatchers. It was an awesome class; I really learned some great techniques that I will employ with my next suicidal caller. As for the validity of the class? Well, instead of 8 hours of how to handle a hostage taker or barricaded suspect, it could have been summed up in one brief comment: "Don't get your feelings hurt when the detective/Sgt./LT/Captain or Chief, rips the phone away from you and takes over." Seriously.

I finally work a graveyard shift this Thursday. Those are always ripe with material. I will be updating then. Talk to you soon!

We Can Learn A Lot From Our Elders

2007-09-02T00:45:00.000-07:00

An elderly lady called in and said, "I have a noise complaint. The people next door are yelling up a storm. Can you hear them in the background? Here, I'll put the phone out the window." A much given response of, "That won't be necessary---" was halted mid-sentence because for once the noise was so loud, when the RP held the phone up, you could hear what she was complaining about. (99 times out of 100 the rp wants the dispatcher to experience the noise, and 99 time out of 100 I say, "No, no, don't hang the phone out the window, it doesn't matter if I can hear it or not, it is your peace being disturbed not mine." Besides, we usually can't hear the barking dog/party call/neighbors running around in the upstairs apartment, they are calling about.) This time was an exception. In what was almost THX clear audio, was a couple who were obviously in the throes of er, passion. The elderly lady then brought the phone back and said, "I mean honestly, no one is that good." I couldn't help it, without hitting the mute button, I laughed so hard! "I mean, am I right? Or what?" She said, also laughing. It was awesome.

Couldn't Have Happened to a Nicer Officer

2007-08-23T14:20:00.000-07:00

Let me begin this post by saying, even the very few officers that regularly treated me like crap at Evil PD, were given my "A" game. Yes, there was a time or two where I was lured into the back and forth"who can give the meanest tone of voice on the radio." If I want to, I can be the queen of the bad attitude. My voice can drip with such scathing tones, your ears will melt off. I digress, that is a post for another time, this is an Evil PD story. There's this officer there, I will call her Officer M. She had about 3 years experience at the time, she is about 5'4" in decent shape and probably about 25 years old. That's all fine, but she walks around with this swagger, thumbs hooked in her duty belt and all, like she's all that and a tub of biscuits. It wasn't that she was really mean to me, it is just she thought she was a complete bad a$$ and treated others as if they were insignificant. So, every year in Evil City there is an Air Show at the local airport. Memos are emailed out for weeks leading up to it and they get posted all over the station, warning officers and dispatchers that there is a part of the show where a stunt helicopter appears to crash, but that it is well rehearsed and just fine. Every year we get about 25 frantic 911 callers, screaming into the phone about a crash at the airport, and every year we calm them down, with the aforementioned explanation. Bottom line, we expect the callers to call and the frantic citizens to flag down officers. What we don't expect is the following to happen:

Officer M: I'll be making an 1186 at---OH MY GAWD! SEND FIRE AND MEDICS CODE 3 TO THE EVIL AIRPORT THERE HAS BEEN A HELICOPTER CRASH!!!!!!

Me: [In an extremely calm, level voice] Negative Officer M, please 1021 radio.

Officer M: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GIVE YOU A CALL RIGHT NOW!!!! SEND FIRE AND MEDICS NOW!!!! I AM ROLLING CODE 3 TO THE SCENE.

Me: [Genuinely hoping I can help her save face.] Reduce code, and 1021 dispatch immediately.

Officer M: NO ! I AM ALMOST 97. I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THE CRASH IN JUST A SECOND. OK, I SEE IT!!!!!!! LET FIRE KNOW......oh.... Nevermind.

Me: Yes. Now, please 1021 radio.

And the radio clicks went on for over a minute. She was called Officer Mayday for a really long time. I would like to say that she learned something from the experience or at least that she calmed down a bit but I can't. In fact the reason I wrote this random Evil PD story is that I just heard that Officer Mayday was recently at a Party/Noise complaint call, had her taser out, tripped and fell and tased herself. Amazing.

You've Come A Long Way Baby!!!!

2007-08-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

Today is Little Man's second birthday! We are going out to have some fun now. Write more later, I promise.

Havin' a sHELL of a Good Time!

2007-08-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

Hello! I have not fallen off the face of the planet. I am in fact, on a long overdue vacation. I will be back and blogging no later than my next work shift--Tuesday. (Day shift) Hope you all are doing great.

Join Me for a Sit-Along !

2007-08-08T19:05:00.001-07:00

I am taking you with me tonight. You will be with me all 12 hours. Yippee, it will be fun. I will update this post all night long. Every single call, and dispatch will be logged. I am not saying it will be exciting, but it should be interesting. Here we go!

1745-1845hrs: Get up, get ready, go pick up some Baja Fresh for dinner. 2 carne asada tacos, a side order of chips, a coke and a churro. Got my fuel for the night.

1845hrs: Arrive at work and overhear the oncoming shift talking about having an "1186 Contest." That is, who can make the most traffic stops. Uh oh, better eat fast!

1857hrs: 911 from a cell, unable to call back due to area code being (911). That means it's an unassigned cell. Luckily it just sounded like a child playing.

1901hrs: Neighboring city transfers a call of two black Mercedes speeding south bound into our city, along the state route. Read, dumped the call, because I guarantee, it was speeding through their city and they just assumed it going to come flying into ours. I put it out on the air as a BOL and dumped, er I mean, passed along the information to the city south of ours.

1912hrs: Fire dispatcher calls and requests a unit. They arrived to investigate a smoke alarm and the back door has been forced open.

1918hrs: 911 medical for an elderly male. Conscious/breathing transferred to fire. (We answer all 911 calls here but fire and medics go to the county dispatcher.

1920hrs: Witness wanting to ID a suspect from earlier incident. Transferred to officer handling

1920hrs: Unit at fire call goes Code 4. It was the fire department that forced open the door. Someone left a pan on the stove.

1921hrs: Same child on untraceable cell calls 911 and talks incoherently. [Note to people with children: Cell phones are not toys! Even ones you no longer pay for have 911 access.]

1930hrs: Officer Brett requested I try to find a phone number to the resident. I located a number, called it and Officer Brett answered. We both promptly concluded this did no good.

1941hrs: Fire and Officer Brett clear the residence after leaving a note. I return to shoveling down as much food as possible before the next call.

1944hrs-2100hrs: (I was giving every single incident it's own log time, but it was getting really long and boring. So I'm lumping the routine stuff together.) Witness transferred to officer's voicemail. Female at the PD reporting a lost wallet. Detective calls in for case number.Traffic stop with a parolee, random call, more Baja Fresh, traffic stop, daughter of female in the PD lobby finds the wallet at home. Chris sends me cell phone text picture of Little Man eating dinner and I almost cry because I haven't seen him since Monday afternoon. Parking complaint, Traffic stop, some callers and a failed attempt at putting the radio traffic of last nights pursuit, from the computer onto a CD for court. (Boy, Ron, I coulda used your expertise. I am so inept with computers.)

2100hrs-2200hrs: Parking complaint, noise complaint, and traffic stops. More Baja Fresh scarfed down.

2200hrs-2300hrs: Sappy phone call from my husband who couldn't sleep. Traffic stops. Woman locked out of her apartment. Tiny bit of light reading squeezed in.

2300hrs-Ooooh fight call! All units enroute now. 7 subjects fist fighting on the train platform.

2302hrs: Units arrive. 5-6 subject seen, not fighting.

2304hrs: Witness says it is male vs. female. Conducting area check. 4+ units 97 (onscene), sheriff almost 97 . WFA 20s blnd, WMA 20s with a cut on his face. Both outstanding.

2317hrs: Hello? Where did everybody go? No one is saying anything on the radio....

2318hrs: That was a big fat nothing. They couldn't find them.

2330hrs: Male and female fighting in the street. Two units and a Sgt. responding. Other unit on a traffic stop.

2332hrs: Out with both subjects.

{In the middle of this a detective has come up yelling his call sign. I think, Holy crap! it must be something important to be yelling and to interrupt an in progress fight call. Nope. He just wants me to call a cab for a citizen. After a few minutes, I still had not gotten a chance to call the cab. The defective called me and asked, "What is the ETA for my cab?" I tell him I am a bit busy with a fight call, it will be another moment, would he like the cab's phone number and he can call for himself? He actually had the audacity to say, "Well, I have never had to do that before, I'm not sure I know how." I politely told him to just call the cab and give him his location, that if he had any issues, to let me know and by then I'd probably be free. Honestly, I know he has a cell phone, because he is calling me. He is armed and fully trained; am I to believe he is unable to wield a cell phone???}

2343hrs: Units code 4

2350hrs: Units clear. No DV., the wife was angry at husband for staying out late drinking with college buddies on a week night. Verbal only.

2350hrs-0012hrs: Silence. Blessed silence.

0012hrs: County wide BOL put out over all local radio frequencies. Officer Safety: 211 in a nearby city, just occurred with a handgun. 3 BMA suspects in a mall white vehicle.

0012hrs-0200hrs: Traffic stops, 1154 (Suspicious vehicle) a few 1066s (Suspicious persons), party call where the revelers were throwing empty beer bottles at passing cars, a few traffic stops.

0200hrs-0300hrs: CODE 7

0305hrs-Caller asking a lot of questions regarding identity theft. How to go about reporting it etc. I give him the information and he says, "Good, good, thank you. I'll just gather up all the paperwork and head on down there to make the report." "OK," I say, "We're open all night." But what I am thinking is, why on earth are you up at 3 in the morning? Why can't you get some sleep and come take care of it first thing in the morning? It makes me wonder. Same with when an RP calls at like 0330 in the morning and says, "I was just looking out my bedroom window and I saw...." Why? Why were you "just staring out your window" right smack in the middle of the night? Oh that I could be the one at home in the middle of the night! I never take my bed or pillow for granted and if I were home right now we'd be locked in a passionate embrace.

0310hrs-0528hrs: Watch a DVD. (I am allowed to.) Almost no radio traffic and zero phone calls.

0545: All is silent still so I head to the restroom. Without going into graphic detail, I get comfortable and an officer goes out on a traffic stop. I pull up my pants, run into dispatch and answer the officer. The radio isn't working because of the way my headset is wrongly plugged in. An officer and Sgt. come into dispatch to make sure I am OK and that I heard the traffic, only to observe me wrapped in the telephone cord and attempting to zip up my pants. Classic.

0530hrs-0645hrs: Start entering a giant stack of citations into the system. I got almost two completed. The officers were going crazy with traffic stops. Also we get a lot of medical calls, and vandalism/car burgs that occured overnight, first thing in the morning

0630-0645hrs: The CLETs system goes down so I can't run out any people or plates. Nevertheless, several officers attempt to do so, even though they have been notified.

0645hrs: San Bernadino County Sheriffs called to confirm a warrant. When I finally found it in the warrant files it was so old, the paper was disintegrating. It was a drunk driving warrant for 1,000 dollars form the '80s

0700hrs: The day shift dispatcher, Dino, has arrived. Yay! So, that was a pretty typical shift. Not always exciting but definitely interesting. Man, I love my job. And now I am off to see my sweet boy and reunite with my beloved pillow.

Who's on First?

2007-08-07T23:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you can't get good information from callers because their accent is so strong, you just can't understand them. Sometimes you can't get good information from callers because of a language barrier. Try as you might, it just ain't happening. Sometimes you can't understand the caller because their crappy cell phone keeps cutting out. Sometimes you can't get good information from callers because they are just plain stupid. And every now and then the four types of difficult callers meld together to create a really, really frustrating experience. Like the call I got today. Imagine if you will a female, with a very thick accent, (doesn't really matter which kind), a horrible cell connection and definitely English as a third, or possibly fourth language.

Me: 911 emergency

Caller: I at is room for laundry. Come now. Brother not treating me well.

Me: What is your location?

Caller: Yes.

Me: I see you are calling from a cell phone. I do not know your location.

Caller: Yes.

Me: Where are you?

Caller: I [cell static] here.

Me: Where is here? What is your location? What address are you at?

Caller: I am in the room of laundry.

Me: You are at a laundry mat?

Caller: NO! (As if I am the stupid/unintelligible one.)

Me: Ma'am, I don't know where to send my officer. What address are you at.

Caller: My cross street is Glade.

Me: But what is your address?

Caller: The cross street is Glade.

Me: Ma'am without an address, the cross street doesn't help me. What is your address?

Caller: It is 360. Now send the polices.

Me: 360, is the street number, what is the street address.

Caller: Glade

Me: Isn't Glade the cross street???

Caller: Yes. Send the polices now, for my brother.

Me: What. Street. Are. You. On? 360.........

Caller: Reston!

Me: Good! OK 360 Reston. That is the Glade apartments. What apartment are you in?

Caller: Yes.

Me: What is the number of the apartment you are in.

Caller: I am not in apartment! Room of laundry!

Me: Are you in the laundry room of the apartment complex at 360 Reston?

Caller: Yes!

Me: OK. Is your brother there now?

Caller: He---[static]

Me: Please say that again, your cell cut out.

Caller: I said, he is not here.

Me: OK, can you go back to your apartment, and wait for the police?

Caller: What apartment?

Me: Your apartment.

Caller: I don't have and apartment.

Me: ... I thought you were in the laundry room of the Glade Apartment complex.

Caller: Yes.

Me: But you don't have an apartment there?

Caller: No, I am staying at a hotel nearby.

Me: [At this point, I know she is safe, I know where she is, I just don't even care to know why on earth she is doing her laundry at some random apartment complex.] OK. What is your phone number?

Caller: 4.

Me: What is the phone number for the cell that you are calling me on.

Caller: 2.

Me: [What the H#$*????] OK. Ma'am just wait there in the laundry room and I will send an officer to come talk to you.

Caller: You send the polices now.

Me: Yes. Please stay put.

Caller: OK, I will go there.

Me: No, I mean just stay where you are.

The officer arrived onscene and cleared "advised" within about 1 1/2 minutes. Big surprise.

I Should Have Kept My Mouth Shut...

2007-08-06T23:23:00.000-07:00

Last time I worked, I was bored. Soooooo incredibly bored. In two 12 hour day shifts, I got maybe one interesting call and a handful of 1186s (traffic stops.) Back me up, Ron, you were there. I was so bored, I was flagging down the records people and asking them if I could help them with paperwork. There were no cites to be entered, no entries to be made, no phones to answer, and records told me they didn't need any help. I always feel like such a slug when I open up a magazine or book on day shift. Especially when the chief of police, or my boss comes by. On my way out the door last week, I told an officer, that I'd be on his shift on Monday, and could he please be more entertaining. Boy, I should have kept my mouth shut. Within the first hour we had a pursuit that left the city, 911 calls off the hook and an in custody. My black cloud followed onto day shift and they had a felony hit and run occur at the same time as some bank robbers took the commuter train into our city. Tonight we had all the 911 lines ringing at once for a vehicle vs. motorcycle. And as my favorite SGT always says, "There is no such thing as a minor injury motorcycle accident." Shoot howdy we are having fun tonight. And the hits keep on coming. Talk more later!

It's Off to the Races.....

2007-08-05T15:01:00.000-07:00

It is that time again in the 5150 household. Time for us to once again put all our money on the three legged horse named "Gimpy." We are officially trying to create a sister for Little Man. To make a loooooooong story short, it's not easy for us. Last time involved years of waiting, praying and surgery. My main thoughts are: When will it happen? How will it happen? I don't mean that kind of "how"! When I say "how" I mean, I know that for us adoption is a very real option. I have to have another child, so if we can't make one, we are fine with adopting. Because of that possibiltiy I often lurk around the various adoption blogs. A recurring theme on all of these sites, are Home Studies. That is where they come into your home to evaluate if you are able to care for an adopted child. Uh oh. Do you have to do one of those? I can only imagine what ours would be like. Let's all imagine, shall we, that you can follow along via virtual tour as I meet with our social worker:

"Hi, sorry I am late, I just got off my usual 12 hour shift. Welcome to our home, yeah it is pretty cute, I think the term for it would be a "fixer upper." You'd never know that though from the size of the mortgage, or shall I say mortgages, plural. Sorry about the crappy neighborhood. I am pretty sure they are selling drugs across the street, too. Come on in. Oh, whoops, don't trip over Riley. Why yes she is a Pitt bull. And here's Gabby. Gabby, down. Down Gabby. Gabby, get down. Stop jumping on the nice lady! Oh, sorry about your dress...So here is our living room. No, no, that's not carpet, that's hardwood floors with about 3 inches of dog hair on it--I haven't had a chance to vacuum in weeks. Hmm? Oh, no that isn't a dog in the corner it's just a really big hair ball! We only have four large dogs. Are you choking? Can I get you a glass of water? No? That's probably for the best, I don't have any clean glasses anyway. Also we were sent a letter recently from the city, asking us not to drink the water. Something about high levels of arsenic. Yes, it is pretty normal for me to have about 2 weeks worth of dirty dishes in the sink. No, no don't open the oven! Oops, you caught me, I hid some more of the dirty dishes in there. How embarrassing. Now, over here somewhere under all these magazines and bags is a really nice kitchen table. Oh no, that's not an unusual pattern on the linoleum floor, those are muddy dog prints! Here is the den/storage/future second child's room. No, we didn't just move in, we've been here two years, I just haven't got around to unpacking, yet. Sorry about the bills scattered all over the desk here. I am trying to pay off some really big loans. Our credit is pretty crappy but we're working on it, (nervous laughter). We may be poor, but what we lack in money, we make up for with our rich personalities! Ha, ha, ha, ahem. You'd like to know where my husband is? Oh he couldn't make it, he is at the hospital. He got in a fight with an armed suspect who pulled a gun on him and a fight ensued. He's getting stitches. The suspect, not my husband, silly! That husband of mine, always getting into these madcap adventures, gun fights and high speed pursuits! (Awkward silence). OK, um, moving right along, this is the bathroom. Oh, that? Yes the paint is peeling off the wall. I realize it's only one foot off the floor, and yes it is lead based, but don't worry I wouldn't let the kid lick the walls! Ha Ha Ha. Is it it warm in here, or is it just me. What am I thinking our Air Conditioner's broken, of course it's me! Who could forget the 100 degree summer were having! Um, yeah, so down here at the end of the hall is our room. Oh, that? That is the gun cabinet, we keep meaning to fix the lock on that. Oh my gosh, Xena! I'm sure this nice lady doesn't want that icky dead mouse! She's always bringing us 'presents'. Where are you going? What do you mean you have to leave? Ma'am come back! You forgot your purse...Sigh"

Yeah, I'm sure our prospects will be lining up around the block.

Feeling Like a Deer in the Headlights...

2007-07-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

I thought the amount of profile views I had (most recently 850) was the amount of readers I had ever had in the past year... In the past 5 days since I finally figured out how to add a statcounter (thanks Ron!) I have gotten almost 200 hits. Wow. Here I was typing along, from time to time, imagining I was talking to, my mom, some fellow dispatchers, a couple of cops and just a few others. Now I feel all exposed, all nervous, all shy. I can employ the method I used to use in speech class---I can imagine all of you alls in your underwears.... Tee hee. It's not working! I can't do this! OK, I am going to have to pretend that I am just writing an email to my mom. She is my biggest fan, and I don't just mean on my various blogs. You can hear me dispatch live; there is a link on my police department's home page and my mom tunes in regularly. [I will not disclose the website, as I guard my annomintiy ferociously.] She and I email back and forth all day, and she will tell me how good I sound, or want to know what the disposition from various calls were. I always hate to let her down when we get a call that sounds all exciting and then it turns out to be nothing. From her side, listening, there were just 4 masked suspects seeming to case a bank. Next thing you know she hears, "Code 4" and then "Clearing." Soon after I will get an email: "Well, what happened????" "Nothing Mom, they were gardeners, covering their faces while they did yard work, so they wouldn't inhale dirt." But she gets to hear the good stuff too, like last week when I said, "Clinton street, like our former president." or when I screwed up the radio traffic so bad I ended up saying, "Standby, operator malfunction." So, Mom, it is with out further ado, I will share my most recent deer tail. Er, tale.....

Me: 911 emergency

Deer Lover: Hello, please send an officer immediately! There is a deer...IN THE BUSHES!

[Let me just stop right here and make a comment. Wonderful City is chock full of deer. Now, I like deer as much as the next guy; hey, I saw Bambi too, but sometimes it gets ridiculous. One time I got SEVEN 911 calls that a deer was running parallel to traffic when at the exact same time I got exactly ONE call that a man had collapsed on a very public sidewalk. So forgive me if I roll my eyes every time a concerned citizen whines about a deer.]

Me: Ma'am are there any humans in danger?

Deer Lover: No, the deer is!

Me: Please call back on the non-emergency line, and they will help you.

[Let me stop here again. When I tell people that---the "they" I am speaking of, is actually me. They are still going to get me on the non-emergency line. I realize that it is more work for me, not to just take the info on the 911 line, but gosh darn it, it's the principle of it all. 911 IS FOR LIFE THREATENING EMERGENCIES. I refuse to take calls about deer, noise complaints or unruly 10 year olds on 911. Continuing...]

Me: Wonderful PD, how can I help you?

Deer Lover: You need to send an officer to the intersection of R and E immediately. There is a deer. It is in the bushes here. I am standing just mere inches from her. Hello deer, it's OK, I am here. I am going to get you help.

Me: Ma'am? Are you....talking to.... the deer?

DL: Yes, I just want her to know she is not alone. It's OK, you're going to be fine.

[At this point I realized, this was not the standard there-is-a-deer-running-in-traffic-I-am-afraid-the-poor-widdle-thing-is-going-to-get-hit-by-a-car call. This required and expert. As I did not have a psychiatrist, on call, to send her, I did the next best thing. I passed her off to animal control. 2 minutes after that...]

Me: Wonderful PD

DL: Hello, it's me again. Animal control is unable to help the deer! They said there was nothing they could do. But she is still here! You must said an officer now!

ME: [How do I phrase this delicately....] Well...if they can't help you.... [usually when I say this and then kind of taper off my voice off at the end, it finally dawns on even the slowest citizen that we don't have "deer whispering" in our vast bag o'cop tricks.]

DL: You have to help. I will be standing here waiting for the officer.

ME: Well, you are going to have to get over it. We are not the deer patrol and though I cannot stop you from frolicking with a deer at 3:30 in the morning, I wouldn't advise it. Go home and go to bed!

[That was actually what I wish I could say but here is what I actually said:]

ME: Ma'am, um, well, what is it that you think a police officer can do exactly?

DL: Well can't you lead it to safety? Can't they take it somewhere?

ME: How? With our Pied Piper? Speaking of pipes, what on earth have you been smoking, lady, and where can I get some???

[Sorry, I was daydreaming again. Reality:]

ME: Ma'am, the police are here to help if you are in danger, or some other person is in danger, but the deer is OK, right? It's not rabid, or vicious? It is not creating a traffic hazard? Am I understanding correctly that it is just hanging out in the bushes? That the two of you are just hanging out, in the middle of the night, but that you are both OK?

DL: So are you going to send someone right away?

ME: Wow. No, I'm not. I am sorry, but there is nothing an officer can do. I'll tell you what I will do though. I will let the beat officer know. That way he can be aware of the situation, and keep an eye out for the deer, OK?

DL: Well, I'm really not comfortable with that. OK, goodbye deer, good luck. I am saying good bye to her. Now I am getting in the car. Oh, I am so uncomfortable with this. OK, I am leaving now.

ME: All right. Have a good night.

I then sent the officer a MDT message:

THERE IS A DEER AT R AND E. IN THE BUSHES. JUST HANGING OUT. A CITIZEN WANTED YOU TO KNOW.

And he wrote back:

UM. OK. THANKS...

Shortly after that officer went out on a traffic stop. Apparently some crazy lady, waved at him, squealing her tires, as she did an insane U-turn and almost ran into him. She was screaming at him, that there was a deer. In the bushes! That needed help! He told me later, that it was a good thing I sent him the message because, then he knew more of what he was dealing with. Turns out she was high as a kite, big surprise. The officer said her pupils were enormous. Sooooo, the moral of the story is if you are going to get high, frolic with a deer at 3 in the morning and harass your local dispatcher... Don't then flag down an officer. Just commune with nature, and go on your merry way. Other wise, the deer won't end up, safely in a cage, but you will!

ME! Hard at Work. Solving Crises. Fighting Crime. Life and Death Matters.

2007-07-24T07:37:00.000-07:00

"No, no ma'am... Ma'am? As a matter of fact I do NOT want to hear all about the bowel movements of your cat."

What a Boob...

2007-07-17T07:55:00.001-07:00

So we have a newish full time dispatcher here at WPD. To protect the innocent, I shall call her...Girlie. She is 23, and a sweetheart, but in some ways she is so very immature. I don't mean in a "let's get out the Barbies and play house" kind of way, but in the "I am still very unaffected by the world and am still learning appropriate social boundaries" kind of way. Should she ever happen upon this blog, please know the following story is told with no malice, you sweet child. First let me say, I don't know her very well, and at the time of this occurrence I really didn't know her at all. I was coming on shift to relieve her. She wasn't wearing our normal uniform polo shirt, but a zip-up sweatshirt. And now we begin:

Girlie: Hi! How was your drive? We had a pretty busy day. Do you like my new boobs? I just had them done.

Me: Hi. My drive was fine and... Say what?

Girlie: My boobs, they're new. Didn't you notice? I just got them done.

(Glancing quickly at said boob-le region)

Me: Oh wow. Yeah that's cool. Good....shape.

Girlie: I know, (closing the door to dispatch) Would you like to see them?

Me: Whoa, um I---

(Ziiiiiiiiiip. Out come the boobies)

Me: Oh my, huh. Wow. Yeah. Those are boobs.

Girlie: They still really hurt. I had to have my nipples re-placed into a better positionon. First the doctor took the nipple-----

Me: Wow! Yeah. That's amazing. They look great. Good job.

Girlie: They feel real. Would you like to feel them? You can feel them, I don't mind, it's OK.

Me: ... Um... Ok, sure. Why not...

(I poked at them experimentally with one finger.)

Me: Hey, look at that. Ok, well, you can zip up your sweatshirt now.

Girlie: You can really grab onto the whole thing if you want to.

Me: Nope. I'm good.

Girlie: (Disappointedly zipping up) Well, if you're sure.

Me: I'm sure.

If I had any hidden fears that perhaps I was a lesbian and didn't know it? ; they've been put to rest.

Not just "Same Old, Same Old" after all

2007-07-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

I had this caller who said she was hiding in her closet, and that someone had broken into her home. Her alarm had gone off and she was sure someone was coming up her stairs. How many alarm calls turn out to be false alarms, or alarms tripped by the dog/cat/husband/friend/maid/janitor/wind? I would say 85% of them. So I handled the call as a valid hot call, if for no other reason, than the poor woman was terrified. "I can hear him in the hallway.... I have just locked myself in the bathroom... Now he is in my bedroom, please hurry!" I tell her I have units on the way and to please stay on the line. "I can hear him by the dresser. He is counting my money!" What does that sound like? I thought to myself, imagining the sound of paper bills rustling and a suspect counting, "One dollar, two dollars, three dollars...." At this point I really thought she was 5150. I told her units were onscene, to stay put while we did a perimeter check. All of the sudden she begins screaming, "He's trying to come into the bathroom! He's trying to come in! He is in the bathroom!!" And in her defense I did hear a lot of background noise. My officers broke in the door to the house ran up the stairs and promptly went code 4. I knew it! I said to myself. It is all quiet on the air, for at least 5 minutes. All of the sudden my K9 unit comes up on the air, yelling, "Nora 8, I am in the garage with the suspect and I am not Code 4! I REPEAT I AM NOT CODE 4!" Holy crap! I thought, throwing the magazine I had recently picked back up, practically across the room. All the onscene units met Nora 8 in the garage and there his dog is snarling and sitting on the suspect who not only was very real, but armed with a wicked looking knife. Scared the crap out of the poor K9 handler, who must have been thinking just like I did, that it was once again, not a valid alarm call. Long story short, a routine call got very exciting, very fast. It made me a much better dispatcher, in that I learned to take even far-fetched sounding calls seriously, just in case. Later I spoke with Nora 8 and he said he is positive, if we had not gotten there when we did, the RP would have been raped, murdered or both. He said, the suspect was, "One of the biggest, scariest looking dudes" he had ever seen. Creepy.

Get Me Judge Judy--Fast!!!!!

2007-07-09T13:13:00.000-07:00

One year ago my dogs attacked and killed the neighbor's Chihuahua. I wish it didn't happen, I feel bad for the little dog, but here is a quick synopsis of what happened:

My dogs were confined to the part of the yard away from the Chihuahua's yard, because they were always barking at a different neighbor's dog. Honestly, my dogs never really paid attention to the Chi---Rat Dog. Anyway, the Rat Dog came into our yard, my dogs tore down the barricade and followed it into it's own yard and ate it. Literally. Anyways, I talked to the owner, apologized and told her "Absolutely!" when she told me I should pay for 1/2 the cost of repairs to the fence. I gave her my personal cell phone number and told her to call me with the amount. She never called, she never gave me a bill, or tried ANY kind of contact...until now. Now, she is taking me to small claims court for $7500. Are you kidding me? She never even tried to collect. Talk about going from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds. Isn't small claims court for people who refuse to pay? I didn't refuse to pay her. Ok, deep breath. I digress, she sent me a certified letter, full of emotionally manipulative statements of how traumatized she was, probably hoping for pain and suffering. One problem with that; you can't get pain and suffering in CA small claims court, only the amount to cover damages and only what you can prove. Sooooo, I have 10 days to reply, and I wrote a very courteous letter, telling her if she wasn't happy with me paying her for the fence as we already agreed, and what she paid for the dog, she will have to take me to court. I almost hope she does. Almost. I have so many pictures that prove my side of the story. She totally screwed herself by putting my personal cell # on the letter she sent me because, how else would she have that unless I gave it to her? No judge will believe I said, "I am not paying you! Now here is my personal cell # so you can call and harass me." I will keep you updated. In the meantime, I want to share with you the letter I composed, that I WISH I could send. But I won't.

Dear Liz,

What the @#$% ??? Are you kidding me? Who the @#$% do you think you are; waiting an entire year and then trying to extort $7500 from me? Where do you get off? Do you honestly believe you can prove that nine crappy plywood boards and a mangy, neglected, mixed breed Chihuahua is worth that??? If this goes to court, I’m thinking all that you are due is about 45 bucks max. And little “Princess” as you so aptly named her, was so neglected we felt sorry for her. Meeting a violent but swift end was far more merciful than spending one more day with you. That dog yapped night and day, begging for attention, so how dare you, now pretend you even gave a rat’s ass about her.
Let’s get back to the fence repairs, not only did you only replace nine boards on your fence, you didn’t even fix the right place! Not to mention, YOUR dog entered OUR yard! I can prove, that portion of my yard was cordoned off. Why? Because your stupid dog would begin barking incessantly every time my dogs walked by. Not only did your dog come into my yard first, it pushed the board into my yard, which I can prove by the sheer fact that my dogs do not have opposable thumbs. And another thing; my dogs are a pack, and therefore, when something as small as a rodent comes into their domain, they will kill it. Honestly, they probably thought the damn thing was a squirrel. And where did you get the figure "$7500?" Did you just pull that amount out of your a$$ or are you also charging me for your psychiatrist's visits; because that would make more sense. In closing, if you have anything further to add, you can kiss my a$$. See you in court, moron.

Sincerely,
Becca

Sigh. If only.

Happy Anniversary to Me (This is a different one)

2007-07-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

Chris and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary (July 4th). We are going camping, write more when we get back!

Happy Anniversary to Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-06-29T19:13:00.000-07:00

I have been blogging here at my 5150 world for one whole year, today! It has been so much fun and so therapeutic. I love reading all the comments, and I love visiting all of your blogs too. I feel honored that anybody reads or comments at all, and I feel so happy that I only got one mean comment so far. Yay! So, I raise my glass of apple cider, (I am at work) and I say, "Cheers! Here is to another year of blogging." Will you toast with me? I would love to get as many comments as I can, to celebrate. (And Ron, haven't you figured out by now; I have no shame?)

Sorting Out my Feelings Updated*

2007-06-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

This will seem very disjointed and probably quite boring. My oral board was exactly one week ago and before today I just kind of put my thoughts and feelings in a box and put that box on a shelf. I really just didn't want to think about the whole thing for a while. So now, I will take down that box, blow off the dust that has accumulated and see if I can make any sense of it.
I did not get the full time dispatch position at WPD. No I am not joking. The LT said it was because I live too far away, that they need someone who could be there much faster in an emergency, but there is another full dispatcher who lives twice as far as I do so... I have a lot of mixed emotions. I have been loyal to WPD since I was laid off due to budget cuts. To be honest, my gut level reaction is; I took this like a slap in the face. There is no one better qualified for the job because I ALREADY DO IT. So that means they didn't want ME. How is that supposed to feel? How do I take that? I don't know. My husband is far more pissed than I am. He says they have no loyalty. "Beck, this shouldn't have been you interviewing for an open position, this should have been them giving you your old job back. We never would have moved farther away if you hadn't lost your job in the first place." I see his point but I still feel conflicted. I am relieved because, though I would have gladly done it, the commute would have sucked. (It is one hour on a good day, 2 on a bad day.) Now I'll get to spend time with my toddler son until the per diem hours dry up in September and I have to find a full time job some where. I know I did really lousy on the oral board and I finally figured out why. Normally I nail oral boards. I have gotten jobs I was not qualified for because I interview really, really well. I totally sucked at this one. Hours later it dawned on me. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Two out of the 3 people doing the board know me. I didn't know if I was supposed to pretend they didn't know me and just sell the heck out of myself and my skills or tell them new stuff that they perhaps did not know about me. The end result was I believe I didn't give thorough enough answers because, I figured they already knew my answers. It made me feel very awkward and uncomfortable to be interviewed by a friend too. Instead of selling myself to a prospective employer I felt like I was bragging, so I downplayed myself. I really did crappy. In hindsight I wish I had asked "Am I supposed to pretend I don't know you, and you don't know me?" However, in all fairness, they should have told me how they wanted me to answer, before the interview began. I am having a hard time getting too worked up about it all because, I feel my heart just wasn't in it. I like working per diem and I prayed about the whole experience. I put my whole faith in: if God wanted me to have this job, I would have it. Period. So, yeah, my worldly side is pissed, hurt, confused, offended and annoyed but when I look at my spiritual side, I couldn't be happier. I truly believe if God wanted me to have it, I would have it. When I am supposed to be working, the right job will be provided for me.
This whole experience has been really strange for me. I haven't really had to go through anything like this before, and I am not used to it.
Further analyzing the issue; I am not in the slightest upset with my friend, the dispatch supervisor, who was on the oral board, for not choosing me. Not one bit. But she never called, texted or even emailed, as a friend, to check on me and that hurts a lot. Maybe she felt she could only wear one "hat" and chose the work one. I hope not. If she reads this (And thinking she probably would, made it hard to vent, but that is what this blog is for), I am asking her to please not comment on this entry. I would rather pretend she doesn't read this entry, at all.
Well, those are my rambling thoughts about the whole situation, and I am no closer to enlightenment or resolution, but I trust my God completely.
***Updated june 28th*** My friend/Supervisor never got the text I sent her (I sent it immediately after the LT called me and it said "I am not upset. I am actually kind of relieved. I am disappointed and confused but OK." I was hurt when I got no reply. My friend not only didn't get it, she didn't know I already knew I had not been chosen. She was told not to discuss it with me. So, I feel like a horses ass for not trusting in our friendship. I have always prided myself for being one to admit when I am in the wrong, and this is one of those such times.***
Now, I am going to go play with Little Man, and probably rewrite this later, saving this one as a draft, and try to write it in a funny or more interesting format. I am thinking of me, lying on a couch in a shrink's office...... Til later.

As a Matter of Fact

2007-06-19T15:51:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to say police related. But I am at work and all is Qui----, oh, I almost jinxed myself. All is not... too busy. So I would now like to share some random facts about myself, my family and stuff. Here goes:

*I am terrified of heights, well more accurately, falling from great heights
*I hate seafood. My motto is "Nothing from the sea" Nothing.
*I have 4 dogs over 50 pounds (Xena, Gabby, Bailey and Riley)
*I have another blog, with a loyal following, about my journey with infertility
*My son's middle name is Danger. It really is.
*When I was 17 I lost my entire memory. I had meningitis and Epstein Barre
* I got most, but not all of it back, eventually
*I don't like fruits, vegetables or nuts. Good thing I was not born a squirrel
*My parents have been married almost 40 years. I take marriage very seriously.
*When we met on a blind date, Chris was in high school and I was a sophomore in college.
*I was kind of pissed at the guy who introduced us for not telling me he was younger, ahead of time, but I got over it.
*We waited 8 long years for Little Man
*I had to have surgery so I could concieve
*I had that surgery on Nov. 10th--the Marine Corps birthday, and Chris was very proud of me.
*After 8 years, I got pregnant the month after the surgery
*I had a medical condition during pregnancy called "Hyperemesis" which means "a lot of puking"
*From month 2-7 I threw up every day. My record was 35 times in one day
*According to my husband, I almost died in child birth. I really don't remember.
*Who dies in childbirth these days??? Honestly!
*It was all worth it, the moment I laid eyes on him.
*I didn't lay eyes on him for a while, because the nurses took him away so they could work on me.
*I nursed but I am not a "breast nazi." I think it is somthing that should be done discreetly. My view is: yes, breastfeeding is a natural bodily function, but so is urinating, and I won't be doing that in public any time soon, either
*I have nursing friends that will just whip out a boob wherever they are
*This mortifies me, but I love and support them anyway
*I was terrified I would get Post Partum depression, but I did not
*I have taken Zoloft for a chemical imbalance for ten years
*I do not see a therapist because, I have nothing to tell them
*I grew up in a wonderful Norman Rockwell type home.
*We did move around a lot
*By the time I graduated high school, I had gone to 9 different schools.
*Moving around a lot with Chris, in the military was no big deal for me.
*We used to be so poor when we were in the Marine Corps, that if we had the money to add hot dogs to our Mac n' Cheese we became really excited. We would sit at the kitchen table with our last $20 between us and debate: Dog food or Gas money. Every time Chris got a ride or walked 5 miles to the base.
*In many ways those were the best years of our marriage, so far.
*I was raised quite well off and while transitioning from that to being really poor. I had ONE huge melt down in a supermarket. It was over waffles.
*After I threw said pre-made waffles into the shopping cart, hysterically crying, "I had waffles before I got married, and I will have waffles NOW!!!!"
*My new groom wisely let it go.
*I find my husbands tattoos, VERY attractive
*Instead of an engagement ring Chris and I have identical tattoos, specially designed for us, in the form of a Celtic knot symbolizing "An eternal bond between two people"
*If I ever see our design on someone else, I will hunt down the tattoo artist
*I get so into the books I read, that if the character is in a bad mood, I get in one too.
*I won best comedic actress two years in a row in college, and competed against UCLA in a competition once.
*I am completely fulfilled writing scripts for, performing in and co-running my church's drama ministry.
*I am completely on fire for Jesus, and if a terrorist put a gun to my head I would die for my faith.
*I would also go down fighting. Because...
*I am a card carrying member of the NRA
*I am good mom, a good wife and a good Christian.
*I could do better at all three of the aforementioned
*I am really lazy and I hate that about myself
*Chris is training for a marathon, and I am desperately trying to get the motivation to work up to a 10K.
*I would settle for a 5K
*I may actually manage a nice 1 mile, fun run
*One time I ran in a 5k run and a small child in a cape passed me
*When I tried to catch up to him, he yelled, "No way, lady!" And I ate his dust.
*My dad (a marathon runner) who was in his late 50s at the time, ran the course over and over again to kill time while waiting for me.
*At the same race, by the time I stumbled to the end, they were packing up the finish line and had thought all the runners had gone home.
*I haven't really exercised since then
*I have one brother, 21 months older and growing up we were incredibly close
*He barely speaks to me now and it breaks my heart
*I am very, very, very close to my two brother in laws and my sister in law.
*It's just not same.
*There is a tiny kitten in a box behind me that an officer found, and it won't stop meowing
*I am wondering why cops always bring stray baby animals to dispatch
*I am thinking of a time, when I took a stray puppy home when an officer brought her in
*That reminds me of a story Chris told me about a time he was patrolling, saw some people surrounding a German Sheppard on the side of the street. He yelled for them, "Get back!" and ran in to assist the injured animal only to find out it was a toy stuffed animal.
*He was really embarrassed.
*I get sidetracked easily when I am telling stories.
*I love having good friends, and good conversation.
*I have to actively remind myself to shut up and listen to the other person who is talking
*Because I get sidetracked easily
*We can be talking about shoes and suddenly I will switch to talking about llamas. I was actively listening it is just that my mind jumps from topic to topic very quickly. So you say "I like these new shoes I bought." and I respond with, "Yes, they are nice. Did I tell you about the llama I saw?" Because my thought pattern went like this: I like her shoes/they are brown/brown like the color of a llama/llamas are funny/hey yesterday I saw a llama in the strangest place. And you may think I wasn't paying attention, but I really, really was. Actively.
*I can't stand people who are flaky. I only seem flaky, sometimes, but I am really not.

I am off in a 1/2 hour so I have to do some end of shift stuff. My oral board is on Thursday so I will post about soon after. Bye!

.....And the Police Will Get All the Paperwork

2007-06-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

THE END

But You Know the Firemen Will Get the Glory!

2007-06-11T22:59:00.002-07:00

And They are Going, Going, Gone...

2007-06-11T22:59:00.001-07:00

Sorry Mr. Policeman, There's Nothing For Us to Do Here

2007-06-11T22:58:00.000-07:00

The Ambulance has Arrived. Oh, no. Looks Like "C" is for "Coroner's Case!"

2007-06-11T22:57:00.001-07:00

(Notice the tourist. Tee hee.)

Here Come the Firemen

2007-06-11T22:56:00.000-07:00

Our Hero In Blue is the First on the Scene

2007-06-11T22:55:00.000-07:00

Uh Oh, "C" is for "Crime" Scene...

2007-06-11T22:54:00.000-07:00

Why, Yes, I DID Have too Much Free Time on my Hands...

2007-06-11T22:53:00.000-07:00

I was walking through the room yesterday and I glanced down at what I at first thought was an intact, discarded Cookie Monster. Then I noticed the stuffing and those two little plastic eyes staring up at me from nearby. I looked at my dog, Gabby and she had a little Cookie Monster stuffing, caught in her whiskers. I busted up laughing, and thinking, I caught you! And then my crazy imagination took over. And the result is the following story. I really hope you enjoy it.

It is Time for the "Dye Pack" Story

2007-06-07T20:22:00.001-07:00

Shortly after Chris got out of the Marine Corps, he was a roadside mechanic and I began my love affair with dispatching at Huge PD. Back then, I would come home and regale Chris with fascinating stories from my day. Back then, they were all exciting and unique to both him and me. Don't get me wrong, he still loves to hear about my day and my stories, but now he is a bit more seasoned. A bit jaded if you will. 9 times out of 10 his stories top mine all to heck. My stories no longer shock, appal or amaze him. But, back then, I would write down notes, all day long, reminding myself of calls I wanted to share with him. I would drive home, excited to tell him about my day. It was all so new and interesting for both of us. So here is an actual transcript of a conversation that took place in the 5150 household about 5 years ago. Completely accurate....(to the best of my memory):

Me: You would not believe what happened today!

Chris: What? [He has always been a man of few words.]

Me: You know that guy on the news? The Pale Face Bandit?

Chris: Ummm...

Me: You know! That guy who wears white stage make up, a brown wig and has been going around robbing all the banks in Huge City?

Chris: [A bit distracted] Oh, yeah that sounds familiar.

Me: Well, today he robbed the Huge PD bank, and this time, the teller put a dye pack in the money bag.

Chris: Oh yeah? How'd that work out?

Me: [Getting excited, trying to draw him in to my story] Well, he stole the money, drove off in a blue car, and then the dye pack went off. The dye went everywhere!

Chris: [Finally I have his full attention] Wow.

Me: Yeah, some witnesses saw everything. That dye pack? Well, it just exploded! All that blue ink went off all over his clothes and hands!

Chris: [Catching my excitement] No way, really?

Me: And his face! It exploded in his face!

Chris: Whoa, that is nuts!

Me: No, wait, wait, I got carried away, I don't know why I just said that. Let me start over. He got away, and then they caught him, because a dye pack exploded and got on his hands and clothes. Not his face, I am sorry I totally made that part up.

Chris: Wait. You made that part up?

Me: Yeah, I was just telling you what happened and I was imagining it all, and in my head I was seeing the dye pack explode in his face, but that part I made up. Sorry.

Chris: [Laughing] You just totally lied.

Me: No I didn't, it was an embellishment. To make the story more exciting. Besides, maybe it did go off in his face, I don't know...

Chris: You lied. You made something up. Period. Besides the story was exciting enough without making stuff up.

Me: Whatever. Po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe....

Chris: Liar.... Anything else you want to fess up to, about adding to the story?

Me: No.....Oh, well, I said the ink was blue, but I don't really know. I guess it could have been red or green... And I'm not sure what color the gettaway car was...heck he could have been on foot, or.....Wait...Where are you going?

Chris: [Walking away] Come talk to me when you are ready to tell the truth.

*****

And so, to this day Chris and my close friends, whom I have shared this story with ALWAYS ask me, "Is that a "dye pack" or did it really happen that way???" When I share an outrageous story. Sigh. That's what I get for trying to be an master story teller.

Here We Go.......

2007-05-30T08:41:00.001-07:00

Wonderful PD has a full time opening, for police dispatcher. It is actually my same slot that was cut during a city budget crunch a while back. If I get my old job back, I'll even have the same badge. Oh how I miss the little nick on the bottom part of the state seal. I am totally excited. My husband and I talked, and now would be a good time for me to attempt to go back to work full time. So, without further ado, I thought I would share with you the little essay I wrote in the box that was for listing any additional experience that would make me a good candidate:

(Note: Man, I wish I had spell check on that application, I just realized I made like 4 really lame spelling errors)

I would like to take this space to tell you why I would be a great fit for this position. If I am hired, I will save the city of Wonderful a great deal of time and money. As I am currently employed by your city, doing the job for which I am applying, my backgrounds, training, and general hiring process, would be very abbreviated. Not only do I have almost six years of dispatch experience, much of it is with Wonderful. I would need minimal refreshers on policies and procedures, and have already passed Wonderful PD's extensive backgrounds, thus saving money, and by not having to train someone new, which takes on average 3 months, I could save Wonderful PD a good deal of time. I feel I am a great potential asset for Wonderful, as I am very familiar with the officers; I know them by their voice. This greatly increases officer safety, which is a dispatcher's number one priority. If one of the officers keys the mic requesting code 3 cover, but does not use his/her call sign, I am almost sure to recognize him/her. It would take a new dispatcher months to learn acquire this skill.

I did not voluntarily leave Wonderful PD, my postion was cut. Wonderful PD was wonderful to me when that happened; helping me get the lateral position at Evil PD.However, no other agency can compare to Wonderful Police. I have remained loyal and committed in my per diem position, and have waited for the time where I could once again apply for the full time position.

So, keep your fingers and toes crossed, and prayers! Lots and lots of prayers!!!!!

A 5150 EXCLUSIVE!!!!!!!!

2007-05-18T22:55:00.000-07:00

You won't see these pictures anywhere else! I have a friend who is a Police Officer out in Oakland. He took these pictures from the freeway inter-change that collapsed. Don't know if the word got out in your neck of the woods but here in CA this was big news. A gas tanker, took a turn too fast and lost control. It exploded and collapsed part of the freeway. This is a MAJOR commuter nightmare out here, to this day, as this is the main route to get to the Bay Bridge which leads to San Francisco. The driver of the tanker suffered burns on his hands but was otherwise unharmed. No other people/vehicles were involved.

Picture one-Standing on one half of the freeway ramp looking across

Picture two-Standing on the edge of one side looking down at the ruble below

Picture three-Standing at the accident site, looking up to where the freeway is no longer resting on that big pylon

Picture four-Standing where the tanker blew, looking up at the burn pattern and the missing overpass

Pretty cool pictures, huh?

California Police Officers Memorial. May 3, 2007

2007-05-16T18:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry I didn't post this sooner. I tore a muscle in my lower back. I have been laid up for over a week. I wish I could tell you I did it in some exciting way, perhaps in the throes of some heroic feat, during a daring white water rafting trip or something equally dramatic, but in reality, I did it while picking up a 50 pound bag of dog food. Sad.

The Memorial was really nice. What a huge turn out! I cannot believe how many different departments sent officers, it was impressive. I would guess over a thousand easy. I have added a few pictures and also another one of Ah-nold. The whole event was amazing. However, due to the fact that we knew one of the fallen, it was emotionally draining. I do have one negative thing to report about the memorial service and that is the choice of songs. When you are already missing your loved one hearing a song that has lyrics like, "I wear my grief like a heavy coat" and "I'll never see your smile again" and "I wonder what you would have named your babies" seem a little inappropriate. By the time they were done, I felt like jumping off a bridge. But that is a secular memorial for you. On Wednesday I went to a funeral for a Marine that was killed in action by a roadside bomb and it was a Christian service. The songs were uplifting, memories were shared and you left with a sense of hope. I prefer that way of remembering someone who dies. I digress. At the memorial it was soooooo sad to see some of the families. There was one family with 3 daughters ages 10-18 (East Palo Alto PD) and you can't help but think: none of them will be walked down the aisle at their weddings by their daddy. There was the young widow with a 7 month old (LA Sheriff, I think) and the one that really got me was the widow with the toddler boys with blond spiked hair just like my Little Man. The spouse of one of the SFPD officers murdered (they lost 2 this year) was there and it was so sad. She was spotless in her SFPD dress uniform; she was not just a cop's wife but a fellow officer as well. OK, I am going to leave this topic and move onto a new one. Wait til you see my next post. I can't wait for you to see the pics I got my hands on! Til later!

Some California Police Cars

2007-05-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

GRRRRRRR......

2007-05-08T10:28:00.000-07:00

For some reason I am having issues attempting to add all of my pictures from the CA police memorials. I decided to try this picture as a test, and it worked no problem. Bear with me I will continue to argue with blogger and my computer....

Arnie

2007-05-05T22:08:00.000-07:00

You know what is funny? I was really close to our Governor, two times and you would never know it from these pictures. He seemed very nice and had good things to say. I didn't know his dad was a cop back in Austria, did you? One thing I have to admit about him though--he is really short.

For Those Who Have Fallen

2007-05-02T06:52:00.000-07:00

Chris is in a caravan of Police cars from all over CA to Sacramento for this two day event. I am leaving very early, in a few minutes to meet him there. We will stay over and attend the next day as well. Our friend from the Marine Corps who became a CHP officer is one of the fallen. I will take lots of pictures for you guys and post them on Friday.

Is This Kinda Like Racial Profiling...?

2007-04-25T00:35:00.000-07:00

I have been around cops now for almost six years. I have dispatched for 4 different agencies and have met officers from many, different departments in California, from the top, to the bottom of this state and I gotta tell you some things are just universal. For example:

*Radio clicks are used as laughter, everywhere

*Top management just doesn't "get it"

*Sometimes the gossip is worse than high school

*Don't EVER assign a paper call to the wrong beat officer

*Don't take a unit off of code 7 unless it is really, really important

*The detectives think their at least a little cooler than the beat cops (and often times think they are waaaaaaaay better)

*Every single stinking communications center was once located "in the basement"

*Yes spicy tacos can be considered breakfast food if your shift ends at 0700hrs

And the top thing I have personally witnessed at all the agencies I have EVER come into contact with:

***Most cops really do eat coffee AND donuts

Now, every aforementioned PD has tried to convince others and themselves, that they have graduated to bagels and St*rbucks, but I have never been in a break room where donuts were left out, that within minutes weren't left annihilated. You would think someone often brought in pink boxes full of crumbs. It totally makes sense; it is a place that is often open 24 hours, and it is a quick sugar rush. I bought the entire shift Krispy Kremes and not one officer said thanks. Sigh, oh well!

Not Too Bright

2007-04-12T19:38:00.000-07:00

A man just had his 4 year old call 911 so that he could "teach [his] son the appropriate usage of 911." ....By inappropriately using 911... Brilliant.

I am Speechless...And I DON'T Get Speechless....

2007-04-12T19:23:00.000-07:00

So sometimes, I don't write because I get busy (and I am really, really busy), sometimes because I don't have anything to say (but I really, really do) and other times, like now, I just don't quite know how to say it. I have had this story brewing in my mind since it occurred a week and a half ago. I just...don't... know quite how to bring it to life adequately, without visual aids, voice inflection and perhaps a flow chart. That said, here goes nothing...

So I got a call from a guy, who couldn't have sounded more normal.

Me: Wonderful PD

The Nutty Professor: Hello, good evening, how are you?

Me: Fine, how can I help you. [Side note, I hate small talk on the police lines.]

TNP: Well actually there is someone in my house, and I don't know who he is. He won't talk to me.

Me: Like, someone came to the door and you let them in, but didn't know them?

TNP: No, I don't know him, I don't even know how he got in here but he is hiding in my closet. [RP sounds calm, and not afraid] He seems rather shy actually; when I call to him, he won't come out of the closet.

Me: [Not even knowing where to begin] How long has he been in there?

TNP: Well, only about an hour. I first noticed him when I woke up around midnight [three hours ago]. He was standing in the corner of my bedroom, with a lampshade on his head.

Me: Wait, you noticed him three hours ago but didn't call until now?

TNP: Well, it didn't concern me until he hid in my closet and wouldn't come out.

Me: [I am scanning my mental data base for how this can possibly be a sane RP because, he sounded so normal!!!!] Well..... Did you have a party at your house? Is that why he has a lampshade on his head? [I've heard people do that at parties, but I know I am really reaching at this point.]

TNP: (Laughing genially) Oh no, my dear, he just showed up with some lady.

ME: Wait, there is a lady there too?

TNP: Yes, she is around here somewhere. I think she came in through the walls. Why don't you go ahead and send out an officer.

ME: Yeah, why don't I....

And I am thinking how on earth do I dispatch this? I need to be concise, but also make it clear this guy is cuckoo for coco puffs. And how do I label it? "Suspicious Circs" ? "Welfare Check" ? I finally settled on "5150" because as normal as he sounded--- he wasn't.

Now what do I say on the air? Note to self: Next time do not attempt to wing it.

ME: Unit Paul 19 with Paul 2 for cover 5150 at --------------- address. Rp says there is a man hiding in his closet......[huge open mic'd pause] he has a lampshade on his head...........He didn't have a party at his house" [Why on earth did I just say that????]

P19: ..........[huge open mic'd pause]........Okaaaay......

So the units arrive, talk with the subject for a while. Sgt. Kevin, shows up, the Sgt. clears the call, the units go code 4, and then the Sgt. comes into dispatch giggling. Yes, giggling.

Sgt. Kevin: (Snicker, giggle, snicker)

ME: Whaaat?????? Was he nuts? He sounded normal? Was their really a guy in his closet? [I was half expecting there to be, I really was.]

Sam 5: Nope, he was all alone, but I think I'll let Clyde (P19) tell you, all about it if he makes it back in here. I told Mike (P2) don't leave Clyde behind, we are like the military, we never leave a man behind. (Giggle)

And he left dispatch, leaving me to wonder, what on earth...? So eventually the units clear with "Does not meet the criteria" (not a danger to himself or others), and Clyde comes into dispatch. [Side note here. I love Clyde. Not like in an "oooh la la way", just in a, "he's a really nice guy who is good at his job in a young, on fire, arrests everyone who is bad, pulls over anything that moves" kind of way while, still managing to ALWAYS give me bathroom breaks, include me in conversations, tell me how calls turn out and get me food if I need it. Love him. ] So Clyde comes in and I kid you not, he looks shell shocked.

ME: Weeeeeeeelllll??????? Was he nuts?????

Clyde: Oh yeah. In a normal sounding kind of way. How do I put this?.... He was a gay, psychologist and, um, amateur photographer, who was totally crazy.

ME: Oh. Wait, he was a psychologist? For real?

Clyde: Yup.

ME: What do you mean by the photographer part?

Clyde: (Looking a bit uncomfortable) Well, in his house he had every wall lined with pictures of naked men. Well, not all of them were naked, this one really big black guy sitting in an oak tree had on a pink thong.....

ME: Wow... Was he on drugs or something?

Clyde: Oh, he'd taken something... Viagra... And you could tell.

ME: Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!

Clyde: Yeah.

Clyde turned and walked slowly out of dispatch. I don't think the poor guy will ever be the same. A piece of his innocence died that day...

Flash forward like two hours later.

TNP: Hello. I need you to send out the officers again, that guy and the woman are back. I know your officers thought I was crazy, but I am not. I need them to tell them to stop moving my stuff around and ask them to leave. They aren't in the house anymore, though. Now they are in the Oak tree in the back.
[I'm guessing asking him, "The same oak tree you photographed a big guy in a thong in?" would be inappropriate.] So instead,

ME: OK......Is he still wearing the lampshade? [Why did I say that????]

TNP: (Laughing kindly) Oh no, not anymore.

ME: Paul 19 and Paul 2 recall on the 5150 at ---------. He says the man and woman are back from earlier, but this time they are in the Oak tree out back.......He isn't wearing the lampshade anymore. [Rebecca, what did I say about not winging it?????]

Paul 2/Mike: Was there a pink elephant? [Mike can get away with anything on the air, he has the second most seniority and only has 13 months, 2 weeks and 3 days left, not that he is counting.]

ME: Affirm, also in the Oak tree. [I can't believe I said that on the air!]

I had no idea what they could do for this guy but, if nothing else they needed to stop him from getting into a cycle where he'd keep calling and calling. So the officers went back out. This time, not only did the originating officers go out, as is procedure, every, single officer on the shift decided to go out and watch the show. Officers all went on scene, called out a code 4, spent about 15 minutes total there and cleared. Clyde cleared with, "Still does not meet the criteria enroute to the station for decon." So I was thinking, it was a whole lotta nothing, and thought that was the end of it. It was time to go home, end of shift, so I was mentally on to other things. Also at the time, I didn't know "decon" meant "decontamination." Then I got a MDT message from Clyde:

DO NOT GO HOME I HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!

So, I eagerly waited for him to come back in. But first, every other officer who'd been there came through dispatch laughing, and telling me I had to wait for Clyde to tell me what happened. So Clyde walks into dispatch, walks right by me into the restroom, and proceeds to wash his hands for like 5 minutes. I can here him just scrubbing away in there. Oh man, I think, this can't be good.

Clyde: [Comes out of the bathroom with the antibacterial dispenser, just pouring it on.] Yeah, that was gross. So we go back to his house, and before having him sit down on his couch, using good officer safety, I checked the couch for weapons.

ME: Oh no. [Imagining some strange "toy" being pulled out of the cushions]

Clyde: So I pick up a towel, luckily by the edges, to check around the couch and the guy says, 'Oh don't mind that, I just was using it for my masturbation session'

ME: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Poor Clyde, not only had his innocence died earlier that evening, not only had he probably been called back out by the nutty professor just to be eye candy, and not only did he have a nasty experience while being safe, on top of all that, the other officers would just not let him live it down! Poor Clyde. Maybe he can borrow the lampshade from that other guy to hide his shame....

Geeeez! Grow Up!

2007-03-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

Geez, honestly I sometimes think people are incapable of acting and thinking intelligently, without outside assistance. This guy and girl got into a verbal 415. In an act of defiance, the female locked their baby in the vehicle. What that was supposed to prove, I am not sure. Anyway we go out, play a game of He said She said, and in the end dole out copious amounts of advice, that will go unheeded. From what I gathered She had His tools, and He wants them back now that they are no longer together. Officer C told them to exchange them amicably when they are both able to at a neutral location. So just now, He calls me and says, "I am outside your police station, waiting for Her to bring me my tools, is that OK?" I answered, "Um, yeah, unless Officer C told you to not have contact." "No," He says, "I just wanted to let you know what was going on." OK. I hang up. No more than a minute passes and She calls. "I am on my way over to your police station, to return some tools to the father of my daughter." (Argh! I hate this "Baby's Mama" thing our present culture has going right now. You had sex with this person, at one point you maybe even liked them, so stop acting like you barely had any kind of relationship with them. Total pet peeve of mine.) I digress, so I say, "Okaaaaay...." and She says, "So is that OK?" and I tell Her the same thing I told Him, but what I want to say is, "The two of You need to grow the heck up! Who told you, the police department needed to be advised of your every move???" But of course, I kept my thoughts to myself. I really can't stand this kind of call, but we get it all the time. I don't like it when citizens, try to use the police department like this. If there is a history of domestic violence, that is different; we are here to provide a civil standby for custody exchanges, etc., for your safety, but mitigating your every move, and playing referee is not in the job description. Sigh. Stepping down from soap box now.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm......(Click Here)

2007-03-27T23:42:00.000-07:00

Thanks Mike, for awarding me this, how cool!!!!!! OK, so how this works is, after being "tagged" with this award, I must now give the award to five other blogs I feel deserve it. (I added the rules at the bottom.) Here goes:

Brent at Law and Disorder---Brent takes the time from his busy schedule to write great posts about his job as a detective, his family and current events. He takes the time to comment and he updates regularly.

Jason at Wight Wing Wadical-Jason's blog(s) more than any other I have ever seen, not only give the reader a massive amount of information to process, but also an unapologetic opinion on the way he believes things are/should be.

PJ at Being There--Not only is PJ a dispatcher, he takes the time to honor heroes from this war, with in depth entries that give information and tributes to those who deserve it.

Ron at Tis Gar Plen---I don't even know how to describe his blog....Being a ex-cop, current geek, he covers all kinds of topics. You'll just have to check him out for yourselves!

The original Thinking Blog's rules. The following is taken directly from his site, and it is where it all began:

Congratulations, you won a Thinking Blogger Award! Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging. I thought it would be appropriate to include them.The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,

3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.

That was that! Please, remember to tag blogs with real merits, i.e. relative content, and above all - blogs that really get you thinking!

Open Mouth Insert....Shoe

2007-03-23T20:51:00.000-07:00

So I am chatting with Officer B and the phone rings

Me: Hello Wonderful PD, how can I help you?

Caller: I need help, I lost my shoe.

Me: I'm sorry? You lost your.....

Caller: My shoe, on the freeway, in your city.

Me: OK....well all calls for service on the freeway are handled by the Highway Patrol, so let me get you their number. It's ----------------.

Caller: Great, I will call them, I also need the number for those guys who work on the freeway in those orange vests. You see, my shoe was lost on the freeway and it was very expensive, but now I only have one shoe, and I want the other one back.

Me: Well the guys in the orange vests are probably CalTrans...Or prisoners...Let's just go with CalTrans. Their number is ------------------.

Caller: Oh good, I really want my shoe back, it is very expensive and it is somewhere on the freeway. I lost it their a week ago.

Me: Ok, well if anyone can help you it will be one of the numbers I gave you.

Caller: Thank you so much. Bye!

Wow, that must have been some shoe!

I Felt Like a Peeping Tom.....

2007-03-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

I am sorry if this entry looks all smooshed together. Every time I tried to spread it out and make it look more readable it just jammed it all back together again. Oh well.....

So, we are getting a new CAD system called RIMs. Anyone else have this system? I like it. It is very user friendly.

So, today we are still using the old system (Alliance) but I can bring up the training screen for RIMs. Turns out the officers are also using it, though from upstairs, practicing the various commands. While they were practicing entering commands and status updates, they must make up information about their pretend calls and pretend status changes. As I was practicing my own stuff, I glanced up and began reading what the officers wrote, and let's say it kept me VERY entertained! Here are some of the good ones: (But first a disclaimer for readers not in law enforcement: If you are reading this, please know our officers are normally very professional, and these comments were made to make each other laugh and to blow off steam. No citizens were harmed in the making of this post.)

The following were entered as notes as to where the unit was/what they were doing:

MEAL. GETTING DRUNK.

LUNCH. BECAUSE I DESERVE IT

COURT. GOING.

MEAL. I'M HUNGRY

COURT. HE'S GOING DOWN!!!!!

10-6 (busy) AT OFFICER M--'S GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE

10-6. NOT PAYING ATTENTION

10-6. I AM SO LOST

BUSY. WITH BEAT WIFE.

CODE 7. AT THE BAR

WORKING ON REPORTS FOR OFFICER "L" AGAIN

10-6. ADMIN. IA FOR OFFICER "S"

COURT. LISTENING TO THE TWINS. (????)

WITH PRISONER. DOING CIVIL RIGHTS VIOLATIONS

ADMIN. IN TROUBLE. AGAIN

CODE 7. 4TH MEAL

CODE 4. ON SCENE. WAKE ME IN AN HOUR

10-6. SLEEPING.ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

10-8 (available) THERE ARE TOO MANY COPS HERE

The following are pretend documentation notes on call logs:

*Suspect's shirt looks like Detective Don's

*J's gathering at the local bar for a taste test

And notes to each other:

*We have a new "GREAT" instructor. He is creepy looking.

*Warning KJ (supervisor) may be in the area!!!!

*Testing 123, 123 Mike Check, Mike Check. I got two turntables and a microphone....

Note: (When adding supplies the officer had in his patrol vehicle such as PAZ, Taser, shotgun, etc., ) One officer added: A WINNING DISPOSITION

While I was practicing and using the old system too, I added a real call. Just a duplicate of one I was really working at a place called "Allie's Almonds" It was for a vandalism. Now mind you, our instructor told us, we would be assigned our own units, and no one else is allowed to put their hands on our units. (Of course, I was assigned our Lieutenant's unit call sign and I wasn't about to tell our LT when he came in to practice, to quit touching his own unit...) I digress. My point being, I entered the call, so no one else was supposed to mess with it. I came back to it an hour later, and found these notes added by various officers:

Officer Mike: Pick up a bag of almonds for me please

Officer Don: I like almonds. They have great almonds...a little bit smokey

Officer Tony: OFFICER KEN LIKES ALMONDS, HE MAY BE OUR SUSPECT!!!!

OFFICER ROBERT: All the almonds were taken. weapon used was an almond knocker.

ME: GUYS, THIS IS NUTS!

When they found out, I had been "spying" they were a bit embarassed! Then I think a little proud when I said they were very funny.

I realize that this whole post may be one of those "You had to be there...." but I still wanted to share it.

Ok, that is just about it. Last one; my absolute favorite of all the silly comments, was a note added to a minor injury accident:

"Pushed the car into (neighboring city). No report needed"

Ah...if only.....

It's Madness, Madness, I Tell You !!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-14T15:35:00.000-07:00

This is a conversation Chris and I had one morning last week. It went a little something like this:

Chris: Guess what they are doing at my office this month.

Me: What?

Chris: You know the basketball thing; March Madness?

Me: Yeah.....

Chris: Well the officers decided to have March Mustache Madness

Me: Say what?

Chris: They decided to all grow mustaches this month.

Me: Oooookaaay. Are you going to?

Chris: No they know not to bother asking me to do that [stuff]

Me: Hmmm?

Chris: Beck, they all look like they're gonna be in a gay porn.

Me: Yeah, I bet they do! All I can picture in my head is a bunch of Lt. Dangles from Reno 911 running around.

Chris: Yup, that about covers it.

Me: Wow, can't wait to hear what they do for April.

...And on a Lighter Note

2007-03-05T13:35:00.000-08:00

Seriously, doesn't my Grandma Mary, rock? I am sad because she has gone back home, up North. She will return again, ("Lord, willing" as she always says) for the winter season, next year. She is 82 years old, she has great advice and she is not shy about sharing it. She has amazing character, and amazing faith. If there was ever anyone with a red phone straight to God; it's her. (But she can still kick yer butt!)

What I Fear Most

2007-03-01T10:11:00.000-08:00

I really don't worry so much about Chris being shot and killed. Yes, I realize it is a very real possibility but it's not what I fear. Chris was in combat in the Marine Corps, and part of me feels like since he got out of that situation physically unscathed, he can handle himself alright if "only" one or a few subjects shoot at him. Probably sounds weird, but it is how I rationalize it, I guess... What I fear is Chris being mowed down by a passing motorist. Here in CA that seems to be happening a lot lately, mostly by drunk drivers like what happened to Chris' friend, Officer Brett Clearman.

Why do I bring this up now? Chris came home this morning and said, "I came so close to becoming a ped spread last night, I quit my job. I really did....For 3 whole minutes, I was unemployed. We were taking an accident report and this sh-- wagon came flying by, lost control and came, literally, within one inch of smearing me across the road. I said, 'f--- this, they don't pay me enough, I quit', and I got in my patrol car. I just sat there. I was serious enough that [my partner] believed me. Then I got out and finished the accident report."

My brilliant reply was, "Ped spread? That's a new one for me. And what's a sh-- wagon?" Turns out he meant a sanitation truck. I just had no words to express how thankful I was he was OK...and still employed.

Just Some Random Stuff...

2007-02-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

Well, I wish I had an amazing story of what happened to follow my last rant, er, I mean post. But, I don't. We went to the party, which was fun, talked to some Local PD cops who all said, "Him?????" "He did that?" "That doesn't sound like him at all." And one of them gladly signed off on the ticket without even looking at the truck parked out front. They are going to ask the offending officer, see what's up and get back to us. Chris said to also remind him of officer safety issues. Turns out before the Local Cop knew Chris was PD, he failed to notice the large Glock sitting out in plain view on the front passenger seat... At least if the guy had seen the gun and then stuck his own in Chris' face, Chris could've respected the guy! Oh, that reminds me of a question I would love an answer from all y'all. Which side of the car does the officer approach from at your agency? What about when you, or your officers are on a freeway/in heavy traffic. Also does your agency carry tasers? Or only certain officers specially trained? Or like Chris' agency can your management only cough up enough dough to furnish one lousy taser they all pass around? What about dashboard cameras? Who has them, likes them, uses them? Ok, that was more like 20 questions. Told you in the title of this post: Random. Continuing in that theme, here are some recent fun 911 calls: (Evil Me only answered in my head. I was (mostly) a consumate professional)

Caller: Come quick, there are some teens and they are drinking out of the trunk.

Evil Me: Like the whole trunk is filled with beer and they are using it like a trough? Cool, I'll send someone right out...to take pictures.

------------

Caller: I am at my sister's house and she was broken into.

Me: Someone broke into your sister???? ( I just couldn't resist, that one was too easy.)

------------

Caller (With thick hispanic accent): There were over 10 shots fired, please come quick.

Me: (After asking many questions,) Can you tell what race the suspects are?

Caller: Mexican! They are all Mexican!

Me: How many suspects are there?

Caller: I don't know, it's too dark! It's too far! And there are just so many Mexicans! I think 30! Yes, 30 Mexicans!

(This wasn't hilarious, it was just that I found it funny that this guy was way more upset by the fact that the suspects were Mexican, than that shots were fired. And where did he get the exact number "30"? Strange.

-------------------------

And my last and personal favorite:

Caller: My neighbor, Jane Smith, kicked down my fence!

Me: Did you see her do it, or are you assuming....

Caller: I didn't see her do it but, I have her shoe in evidence!!!!!!!

Me: There are....no .....words.....

Oh No He DIDN'T! ! ! ! !

2007-02-15T11:58:00.000-08:00

I was so furious about the following incident I had to calm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down before I could write about it. I keep this blog clean and I was going to wreak havoc on it dropping no-no 4 letter words. Big deep breath, trying to stay calm, here goes:

After working an extra long shift and driving over an hour just to get home, my husband Chris got pulled over by a Local Town PD officer for having no plates on the truck. Chris stated immediately that he was a cop since he was carrying. The officer lectured Chris, and wanted to know why, since he is a cop, didn't he know better and didn't he know the CA vehicle code about licence plates? Chris explained that there is a local gang that hangs out, outside his police station writing down officer plates and then they attempt to locate the cop's home address. Chris makes a lot of arrests, so he's not too popular with that gang. The cop stares blankly at Chris. The he proceeds to ask Chris, "All right, Christopher, but why don't you have any licence plates on your truck, you should know better." Let me note that at no time did Chris have a bad attitude. Here is a little side plot/sub story. Chris has a right to be a bit short with the Local Town Cop. Not long ago, this same local PD came into my yard while Chris and I were both working nights, and impounded all of my dogs for killing a Chihuahua, that, by the way, had come into our yard. Sad and unfortunate, yes. Dramatic enough for the Local PD Sgt. to comment he had "Never seen any thing so horrible" as the slaughtered dog. Puh-leez! Get out more! A dead dog is the worst a SGT. had ever seen????? That gets me off onto a tangent on how Chris gets into knock down drag'em out fights for his LIFE on a nightly basis, and this is what he comes home to??? Same local PD tried to get Chris in trouble after aforementioned dog incident occurred by filing a complaint against Chris at his job! It's not like Chris killed the Chihuahua for pete's sake! If he did, by all means file a complaint!!!!! This same Local PD issued no apology when they lost one of my dogs during the impound, nor did they pay the vet bills when she was later hit by a car, while out running in traffic--specifically she was running in traffic, because THEY LOST HER. Let me also not get into a diatribe of how when we finally jumped through all of the Local PD's lengthy and ridiculous requirements to get our dogs released ($2000 later), we overheard a lady at the front counter saying ,"But why did they come on our property and take our dogs, for barking?" and heard the officer respond : The police chief in Local Town felt cops should be held to a HIGHER standard than the general public." You can't do that!!! Equal yes, but higher? Absolutely not! OK, I am getting worked up again. Deep breath. I digress, back to this morning:

Chris gave up trying to explain and waited patiently for his ID and paperwork to be returned to him. Chris was then handed his ticket. A TICKET! Not just any ticket but a stupid, minor vehicle code FIX-IT TICKET that means Chris has to jump through a bunch of hoops, track down a Local Town cop for a sign off, go to court etc. All in the middle of his night when if Chris had been a private citizen, who was polite, and on his way home from a grave yard shift about 90% of all cops, certainly 100% of the cops I know, would have given him a verbal warning. If you are a cop or a family member of a cop then you get why I am so pissed off. If you are not, I hope I explained well enough. There are some things you just DO NOT DO!: You don't date your best friend's ex wife, you don't fart loudly during church, you don't go to the doctors office with a cough and announce loudly that you have TB and you definitely don't write another cop a ticket. That's what I call canabalism; like attacking one of your own! It's just wrong. Chris pulled over one of my agencies' guys for going 90 mph. Did he write him a ticket? Of course not. Now some citizens may say this was perfectly fair, but truth is, there are certain unsaid perks to being a PD officer. Big stuff, like felonies? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But tinted windows, minor speeding, broken tail light---you just don't go there. Chris has, and would, still back up a Local PD cop if he was off duty, that is part of the unspoken understanding between cops too. Oh I am all mad again. OOOOOOH!!!! That just chaps my hide. Deep breath.......

But their will be payback. This Sunday. We are going to the party of a cop down the street, a friend and co-worker of Chris', who knows 80% or more of the Local PD guys. And the Local PD guys will be stopping by, both on and off duty. And Chris will have the truck parked outside with the plates on it. And Chris will say loudly in a room full of Local Town PD cops, " Is Officer M---L here? I need him to sign off the ticket he gave me for no licence plates." And Officer M------, whether or not he is there, will be looked down upon and he will be ridiculed....... and it will be beautiful.

I welcome all comments on this one but I really want to hear some cop's opinions, too. Back me up?

24 Beers in a Case, 24 Hours in a Day---Coincidence? I Think Not!

2007-02-08T20:26:00.000-08:00

I always find it funny when Chris comes home at 7 in the morning with a six pack and has a couple beers with like, really spicy tacos or a hamburger. I am just waking up and am in "breakfast mode," and he'll hand me the Western Bacon cheeseburger he so thoughtfully picked up for me. That is the life of a graveyard worker; all backwards. When I worked graves, I put tinfoil on the windows or wore a sleep mask. Chris doesn't need any of that. What he does need is for me to stay out of the bedroom, which for some reason, I seem to find impossible. I can plan to stay out, intend to stay out and really want to stay out, but first I gotta shower. And I have to have the door open so I can hear Little Man in his crib, at which time the dogs (all 4) will sneak in; one that farts loudly, another snores like a lumberjack. Then when I am finished I shoo them all out, close the door behind me and remember I have to go back in and brush my teeth. Oops I gotta go back in for my glasses and for some deodorant. Hey, today's laundry day isn't it? He won't mind as long as I do his stuff too. "Little man, psst, Little man, you can't be in here! Your going to wake...." "DAAAAADAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" " Sorry, Chris, I'll be out in just a second. Dogs, out! Almost finished....[whispering loudly like that helps] Did you want me to wash the cover for your vest and some undershirts?" Chris: "Mmmmph!" "Right, sorry, OK, I'm out of here." Crap I forgot my shoes, I gotta go back in, and I can't find any socks. Got them, I'll just sit on the edge of the bed to put them on real quick. [Look of death from Chris.] "What? I'm just putting my shoes on!" Chris: "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE LEAVE!!!!!" "Ok, ok, I really thought I was being quiet, sorry!" Now, repeat that times pretty much every morning and that's our routine. What can I say, I mean to stay out, I really do, but I miss him when he works graves!

Please Standby For Technical Difficulties

2007-01-28T11:44:00.000-08:00

You know, I have taken many a phone call for "Explosive Diarrhea" and giggled. Not so funny now that the 5150 household has been struck down by the Rotor Virus. Oh man, it sucks to be us. Well let me clarify, it sucks to be them, cuz I am OK, but it suck for me to change those foul diapers. Looks like Mocha Frapaccinos....Starbucks anyone? Be back soon.

And Now, To Honor (Humor?) My Beloved Husband:

2007-01-28T11:42:00.000-08:00

I don't know why he thinks this is so funny but, maybe you too will get as much laughter from it as Chris does.....Sigh.

Now THAT'S What I Want To See!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-16T21:02:00.000-08:00

I am at Wonderful PD tonight, (Loving it!) A few of us were (briefly), yakking and Cops came on in the background. We were talking about how it made every night on patrol seem exciting, and why were there never any reports taken? And I was thinking you know how, there are so many episodes of cops that now they have sub-titles, like: "COPS: Tasered" or "COPS: Pursuits." Well, you know what I want to see? Next on Fox:

COPS: REPORT WRITING

Now that would be realistic! They could go from agency to agency for like, 2 minutes segments apiece, and just show cops sitting around with coffee and sunflower seeds, writing reports. The dialogue would be something like this: Cop: "Yeah, we tased a guy earlier tonight. The whole incident was less than two minutes, but now I've got 6 hours of paperwork to write." There could be another one just for "Courtesy Reports" Now that would be a real cop show! Oh, man I totally amuse myself....

That's Amore

2007-01-13T20:53:00.000-08:00

Some husbands bring home flowers to their wives... Mine brings home really gruesome/funny/bizarre crime scene photos. This is just how our marrige works. Case in point; when he was in the Marine Corps he brought me home a gas mask, "just in case." I gotta tell you in a weird way I am flattered he thinks of me, and find it quite romantic.

I digress, back to the crime scene photos. Last night a murder suspect tried to stage a homicide as a car accident. After killing a guy, he propped up the body in the driver's seat and crashed the car, somehow. Maybe it would have worked, if he hadn't shot the guy in the head---WITH A .40 Cal!!!! Gee, buddy, think the cops are going to notice the bullet hole and the entire back portion of his head missing??? Needless to say, they caught the bonehead! Til later Homies!

Dontcha Wish Your Grandma Was Cool Like Mine...

2007-01-06T22:29:00.000-08:00

C'mon your jealous. Admit it. I would be too, if I didn't have a Grandma as totally awesome as mine. My Grandma Mary was one of the original "Rosie the Rivetors (sp?)" Back in the the WWII era. My grandma can kick your grandma's butt. Sorry to be so rude, but it's true. Man I love that lady.

Too Much Christmas Cheer...

2006-12-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

There is always one yahoo, that has too much spiked egg nog, and winds up making a fool of themselves; often with a lampshade or some such object on their head. Here's this years winner. Can you believe it?

Hope everyone out there had a wonderful time!

Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-25T12:03:00.000-08:00

A Cure for the Anal Retentive

2006-12-17T22:47:00.000-08:00

I have come soooooo far in training. I have become the kind of dispatcher, I never knew I could. I loved/love WPD, but it's not the busiest place. Don't get me wrong, some weird Twilight Zone stuff happens there, and it can get insane, but often times it is calm and there is usually a moderate workload. A normal shift would average 3 officers and a Sgt. at night and 3 plus detectives, 3 CSOs, 2 traffic units and a Sgt. during the day. The other night, at Close to Home PD, I had 2 Sgts, 1 DUI, unit, 2 K9s, 1 Booking Officer and 7 Patrol units. I had to do all of the radio traffic, all of the registration and drivers licence checks, and all of the subjects being run out, alone, plus the required records work. I got written up for missing 3 readable transmissions. THREE!!!!! In the whole shift! Not to mention, sometimes I have been catching radio traffic that my trainer has missed. It is soooo frustrating because, the officers will complain when they have to repeat their plate or location. OK, #1 If I say 10-9, it's not because I love the sound of your voice, or because I am stupid, it is because I WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE SO I CAN HELP KEEP YOU SAFE!!!! Say it with me, "Officer Safety.!"#2 The officer I have repeat herself, night after night, has braces, and is absolutely unable to enunciate. So don't you get an attitude with me, Madam Mushmouth, when your version of "I'm at the 7-11" Sounds to me like, "I had sullen unleavened" (???) #3 Thank you Officer Brown for your suggestion that I should talk in a monotone; I wandered around the house for hours talking like a robot, and it gave me and my husband a much needed laugh. #4 When I slipped and said, "What's your 20" instead of "What's your 926", don't jump down my throat; A) Your agency is one of the only CA ones not using the 10-codes, so you're outside the norm not me, and B) I've got almost 6 years of ingrained habits to break, you can cut me a little slack. #5 When I say, "1900 Hours" instead of "1900", don't say "10-9" with a bad attitude and act like you couldn't comprehend what I meant. I may say it a little different than you are used to but, you get it. Now get over it. #6 when I read back the plate numbers/letters to you before giving you the registration information, ("Plate 1 Adam Boy Charles, 2-3-4 is clear and current to John Doe out of Burbank" ) don't complain to my trainer, that it takes too long for me to get to whether the car is stolen or not. A) You need to know that I got the plate right and B) I timed it, the extra 3 seconds it takes for me to read the plate, is not going to kill you, and you're not going to lose the vehicle in that amount of time. Oh, and here is a little secret Officer Too Much Cologne, I may have changed the way I read back plates, to please you, but you better believe, if that car comes back 10-8-51 I am going to read the plate back first, so you don't get jacked up over nothing. And finally (for now) #7 If I kick butt, calling out, writing out and documenting near-perfectly, my first big pursuit, don't nit-pick on what amounts to tiny minuscule ways of how I say things, for example, an officer marginally involved complained: "You said, 'Adam 2 with a unit to fill.' Here we are used to the dispatcher saying, 'Adam 2 AND a unit to fill.' Um, yeah thanks, like that really matters, when the poop hits the fan. AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH. Back when I was in training, the Wonderful PD officers used to nit-pick me for doing things the "Huge PD" way? I felt they hated me? One time they had just finished complaining about me, and their former Full Time dispatcher, "T", came in to work Per Diem. They were soooo excited to see her, and so nice to her, I felt like crap. And my surpervisor told me, that they used to pick on her too. Now, when I work Per Diem at WPD, they are happy to see me, it's funny. I love it, too. At least I am appreciated at one of my two agencies! :) OK, thank you all, I am done venting for now. Wow, I feel much better!

I had I should finally start having some more to write, on my days off. (Fri-Sunday). Sometimes I get writer's block but I actually have the opposite problem right now; I have sooooo many stories to share with you, they're starting to mentally pile up on me. Man, I got some funny ones, and a bizarre one or two. I have a robbery, in progress, a pursuit, some goofy animal complaints and the most insane situation involving my husband as the RP. I can't wait to share them with you. Oh! And the "dye-pack" story.... Check back with me on Saturday. Til then, be safe out there!

Little Man's Version of the Christmas Story

2006-12-03T23:13:00.000-08:00

Grandma and Grandpa got Little Man a Nativity scene playset. Little Man tossed Jesus in the back of his toy truck and replaced Mary and Joseph with a Police Man, and a Firefighter. He is only 15 months old, so obviously he is a genius. He decided, the baby Jesus could be better protected if kept on the move, the Police Man could guard the manger, and the Firefighter could be on hand lest a donkey knock over a candle. Brilliant.

When play time was over, we compromised; I put the family back into the manger, but the police man stayed to stand watch.

Ohhhhhhhhh, Baracuda!

2006-11-26T00:46:00.000-08:00

So I was called to testify at a trial, which in my opinion is beyond stupid. Cops opinions on situations, matter, but not mine! As a 911 operator and dispatcher, I live by the motto, "They tell me, I tell you, you go." If you want to know what was said, go pull the tape, I am not paid to have original thoughts. So I had never testified before and I was feeling pretty confident. Even though the event in question had occurred months back, I had reviewed the call and by some miracle of God I actually remembered it as well. So I was up on the stand, and this 12 year old ADA begins questioning me. He was so green, stuttering and paper rifling, but I wasn't concerned, I had truth, memory and notes on my side. He finally sits down and this horrible female defense attorney stands up. Now I have seen enough episodes of Law and Order, and I was thinking I was prepared for anything. Besides, I barely did anything on this call. This lady called 911 and said her friend "Ted" just left the AA meeting drunk. Way to go Ted. So she gives us Ted's address and this is like the millionth "BOL for a possible deuce heading to XX location" I have given out. This one, however, is the only one where the "where's a cop when you need him" didn't apply. What I mean by that is; how many drunks have you seen on the road and wished a cop was around, but come on, lets be honest there just aren't enough of them to go around. I digress, so a Sgt. happened to be in the area and witnessed Ted pull into his driveway, then Ted walked into his private residence. The Sgt. and several other officers, based on the RPs info, contacted Ted, deemed he was drunk, then since the Sgt. had witnessed him driving they then arrested him on a DUI charge. Flash forward to this Defense Lady (or Dragon Lady. Either way she will be called DL.) So she stands up and is all syrupy at first, but I am ready for her. I remain calm and remember not to elaborate, just answer the question, (thanks Jack McMcoy!) Then the DL starts hammering me out of no where about what did I say and how did I say it. Then the worst thing happened. I remembered something while I was sitting on the stand that I had forgotten. So the second I said, "Wait, I just remembered...." She latched on to me like the blood sucking leech she was. Finally, exasperated, I said, "With all due respect, (not much), why don't you just pull the tape, if you want to know what I said and how I said it?" She went deadly still and pouted for a while before dismissing me. Soooooooooo, after sitting through the rest of the trial, me, the Sgt. and three other officers, were standing in the hall. We were discussing this female cop, who I will call "Jill" and I said to the guys, "That woman is an evil vindictive, b-i-t-c-h, who would eat her own young if given the chance. Right?" I couldn't figure out why they all went silent. I spun around and came nose to nose with the Dragon Lady. It's one of those moments where you feel all awkward but you know, the socially acceptable thing to do would be for both parties to ignore the comment and pretend/hope it wasn't overheard. Yeah, but that's just not me. So she is just staring at me and I say, "I wasn't talking about you, you know..." She just glared/huffed and stalked right by me. Guess I'll never know if it was because she overheard and thought I was gossiping about her or if it was because her probable cause hearing went down in flames. Either way, the good guys won.

PS. I get to take a break from training tomorrow night and work at Wonderful PD. Yeah!!!! Oh my beloved 10 codes I will see you soon. It is going to be soooo nice to not suck at dispatching again for a whole night.

Some Dispatchers (ME!!!) Should Remain in Their Seats...

2006-11-14T14:07:00.000-08:00

Hello! As you may have guessed I threw myself headlong into training and that is why I haven't posted in a while. The prayers definitely have helped! I am doing sooooo much better. It is still hard and I have a ways to go, but my new trainer is confident in my eventual success. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to go to work soon, so I'll post more on Friday. Quick story first: I got called out into "the field" to assist an officer with a translation. (American Sign Language) The call came out as Eval for 5150. There was a possiblly homeless deaf woman who had brought in all of her property and sat down at a table inside of a carpet store and wasn't leaving. We were trying to determine if she was mentally fit and able to care for herself, how can we help her etc., Long story short, after TWO HOURS of interpreting I realized all the lady wanted, was help finding the right bus to catch! She just happened to have all of her worldly possesions with her because she was looking for an apartment. It wasn't my fault, she was giving me so much extra info, the idea got lost, but wow that officer must have thought I was the worst translator in the world!

Psssst.....I Have a Secret....

2006-11-06T12:01:00.000-08:00

I am in way over my head. I am totally out of depth. When I interviewed for this position, I ASSumed that since Close to Home PD is the same size as Evil and Wonderful PD, it must have about the same amount of radio traffic/difficulty. I was way wrong. Close to Home is insanely, exponentially more busy than either of my recent agencies. Oh, sure I have the experience, technically. If I had come straight from Huge PD, I'd have my poop down in no time. But truthfully, in the middle of the nights at Wonderful PD, I watch DVDs and read books. I have time for Bible study and catching up on emails. At close to home, it is constant go go go go. I barely have time to catch my breath. The officers run stops back to back, there are 4 times as many officers as I am used to, as I am trying to catch up entering them into the CAD they all start calling out warrant/DL checks and I haven't even BEGUN to attempt doing phones at the same time. Also, at my other agency, WPD, I know the officer's voices like a family member. So even if someone keys the mike and just utters one syllable, I know who it was. CPD, not only do I only recognize one voice, (and that is ONLY because he sounds identical to my Uncle Jerry), but unassigned units are constantly popping up. So, say I have on all my normal Adam units and 2 Sams. On top of that the detectives (Idas) and Mcops, (Noras) sometimes, off duty so they just call out their badge number. I don't trust that I really heard what I thought I heard, so I look up at my line up. I KNOW I heard a three, I have an ADAM three, so I doubt myself and call that out and inevitably I get, "I said NORA THREE!" Oh, add on that we have overlap, so we have 1A1 working when 3A1, is working (times 1-5) and they cut off the first number. I don't recognize their names so HOW ON EARTH AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THEY ARE?????? Sure if they cut themselves off I can just say, "Ten 4 Adam 1" but I REFUSE to say 10-4 until I know exactly what is going on for officer safety issues. Plus it really matters for the computer's side. Add in the stress of learning a whole new code/beat/computer system, the fact that as a Per Diem employee I can only work 936 hours a year and those are rapidly being eaten up in training, and finally the most important point of this post: they thought I was going to walk right in the door, learn the codes and computer and start working right away, so I have massive unspoken pressure each time I screw up. And know what? Right now, I MASSIVELY SUCK as a dispatcher trainee. (Don't even count the fact that I have a CA cop husband, and they keep getting killed, I had my 1 year old in the emergency room for high fever this weekend, I memorize an entire script and perform as a main character every Sunday at church during our 40 days of Purpose campaign, (which I love) am the newly designated head of the Drama Ministry, teach an American Sign Language class on Monday nights, Bible Study on Tuesdays and I am coming down with a cold. ) Those factors do not and really, should not matter to CPD. I am telling you, honestly the only real pressure I am feeling is to succeed at work. The other things are being given over to God and He is handling them just fine. I think it's time to hand Him this one last thing, because, without help I am drowning and I really need this job. I CAN do this. They are training a girl right off the street with no experience. Aren't I better and more qualified? Yes, I am. So, I have scrapped my "come and go as I please/barely 20 hours a week" training that I was doing, and today at 4pm I start with a new trainer, full time, 10 hours a day with Friday- Sunday off. I have moved my ASL class to across the street on my lunch break (at my In-Laws house), I switched Bible Study from Tuesdays to Sundays and rehearsals/memorization for Drama have been moved until AFTER the stress of the work week is over, on Fridays/Saturdays. Can't do anything about the cop/husband and the 1 year old (nor would I want to!) This Sunday I finally filled out a Prayer request card for this, so the whole congregation is praying for me to do well. So guys, today I start fresh and committed. As Chris says, it's sh-- or get off the pot time and gosh darn it I want to sh--!!!!!! (Biiiiiiiiiiiiigggg deep cleansing breath...) Here goes.......(To Be Continued)

Micro-CHiP

2006-10-31T21:23:00.000-08:00

A CHP friend of ours bought Little Man this authentic little CHiPie uniform blouse. Isn't he the cutest tiny cop in the world?????

Today is my birthday. Yup, I was born on Halloween, and I'd like you to give me a present. Pretty please won't you tell me what your all time favorite costume was? I'll start. I loved my costume the year I was Ophelia after she drowned. I had just taken a stage make up class so it was pretty grusome. Can't wait to hear from ya all!!!!

10:01

2006-10-27T22:12:00.000-07:00

I am fine until one minute after 10 am. At one minute past the hour, my eyes slide past Little Man's laughing face to the digital clock behind him on the table. In my mind, I know it's no big deal he just forgot to call, his cell battery died, or there is no reception. I know this, but I can't help but notice it is 10:01. He is often late, and that alone never worries me. 2 hours? 3 or 4? That is fine, he probably arrested someone. But everyone has a limit and 10:01 is mine. I don't need him to walk through the door; if that was my requirement I'd have gone insane by now. But we have an agreement, and he is so good about keeping it. I need to hear his voice, or if he can't call, at least a text. Something, anything. I've left a message, but I don't like to call him. I don't want to bother him. I am afraid someone else will answer. It's 10:15. Every car that passes the window in our quiet cul-de-sac draws my eyes. Little Man walks over to the front door, in that little drunken sailor way he has, and pounds on it, saying "Da Da?" I laugh and grab him in a bear hug, saying, "You're right! Daddy will be home very soon." I set him down with his toys and sit down to play with him. It's 10:30 and I can feel the tension building in my neck and shoulders. I begin a mental checklist, calmly and slowly. Just in case. I think back to the papers recently filled out and I know my Pastor would come. I know Chris' office would take the time to track him down. I try to prepare myself for how a knock on the door would feel, just in case. I imagine who it would be, which friend would be chosen for such a horrific task. I tell myself I am wise to be prepared, that it is good to have a plan. My mind withdraws farther and farther from those thoughts, never really forming an actual plan and I realize, I've hit a line, that I refuse to cross. It's 10:45, I am gathering up Little Man's toys, getting him ready for his nap. My mind is completely blank as I choose to think of nothing at all. I lay Little man down in his crib and I look down at my beautiful son. A minature version of Chris, with my dark eyes. I think about how blessed I am that, even if something bad happens, I have this perfect miracle; a part of Chris and I. It's 11:00 and I quietly close the door behind me so I don't wake up the baby. It's 11:01 and as I sit and gaze out the window, Chris' truck pulls into the driveway. I watch him, as he strides up the front walk. The key is in the lock, it turns and the door opens. I don't say a word. He looks at me and he has no idea what I am thinking. "Hey." he says. And he is so tired, and his night was so long. All of the sudden I am furious. All the tension breaks in me and I practically yell, "Why didn't you call, and don't say your cell phone died, you could have used someone elses, and don't say there was no reception because you could have used a landline! We have an agreement, remember? I need some kind of contact from you when your going to be this late." And I hate the tone in my voice, but I can't stop it. I pride myself on being the best cop's wife I can for him, so even as the words come out I regret them. "Check your phone." Chris says quietly. I scroll through the messages and I see the text: IT'S 10:00 AND I AM GOING TO BE LATE. I LOVE YOU. I'LL SEE YOU SOON. I'm sorry for my mini meltdown and apologize for the outburst. If this happens again I will try to remember to not freak out....But everyone has a limit and 10:01 is mine.

------------------------------------------------------------

Last night a Sacramento S.O. Deputy was shot and killed. Again. That makes the third Police Officer in California this week. It is escalating. And I am so tired. So very tired of seeing black bands on Officer's Badge's.

Mary, Ocean, Robert, Ocean, Nora

2006-10-21T14:40:00.000-07:00

Ever since falling madly in love with Super Troopers some years back, I love to hear RPs read the letters in plates or VINs out phonetically. (Remember Farva? "Peanut, Eunich....") Anyway I had a humdinger of an RP yesterday and even though my trainer was listening in, I couldn't resist asking this guy to give me the letters on the vin of his stolen vehicle, like that, "You know, Sir, if you come to a "C" you say cat, stuff like that..." "Oh, ok" he replies, quickly, and I think it will be interesting but I wasn't prepared to have to mute him so he wouldn't hear me gufawing.

Here goes:

M.o.r.o.n Guy: OK, I lost the plate. So the Vin number is: Jump, Cathy---

Me: Wait is that with a "C" or a "K"?

MG: "C ." Then, Adult, Wiffle Ball,

Me: Do I count the "Ball?"

MG: No. Then there are some numbers. Then the letter----

Me: Hang on. Go ahead and give the numbers to me also.

MG: OK. Two, um that starts with "T" like Tom

Me: Um, no just the letters phonetically

MG: Oh, OK Tom, Waffle, Oscar,

Me: Wait stop. Are you giving me new letters or are you spelling out the number two ????

MG: But I thought I----

Me: Let me explain again how to do this......[I explain again]

MG: "Got it. [tells me the #s] G as in Garbanzo beans, P like, oh, man...

Me: Paul? And let me guess, don't count the beans...

MG: Wow, you are really good at that! Ok, P like Paul---

Me: Another P? Or the same P?

MG: Another one. T like....Tea, B, like Bee...

Me: I am gonna just stop you there because now we have way to many numbers/letters.

MG: Oh, OK, from the beginning J like Jaywalking-----

Me: Just stop. Here is what we are going to do. Just say the letter and I will ask you if I can't tell what it is.

----------

My trainer must have thought that I was the real moron!

And now here is the cherry on my ice cream o' fun:

Moron Guy: Wait there is one other thing. I got a warning notice in the mail that if I don't move the vehicle soon, it will be fined for 72 hour abatement.

Me: The stolen vehicle you are reporting?

Moron: Yeah, what should I do?

Me: Weeeeeellll since the vehicle has been stolen, that means technically it has been moved, so how about we just don't worry about that right now.

Moron: (Doubtfully) ...OK....

I said it before, and I'll say it again....I LOVE MY JOB.

The Keyboard Can be a Dangerous Thing....

2006-10-18T23:56:00.000-07:00

So, I am still sick. My doc thought I had mono, but turns out it was just a really bad viral infection crossed with a Sinus infection. I was so relieved to hear it wasn't mono cuz I had mono one time and it turned into meningitis and I lost my whole memory. That sucked. I digress. Since I have been off work for over a week, I got nothing new. However, I totally forgot to share my two favorite "Huge PD" stories! I may have already shared this, but I couldn't find it in my archives, so if you have heard this one before, chalk it up to the Nyquil, K? Here goes:

One time I was working the relief frequency and I sent a message around the room asking if anyone wanted a "quickie" which was what we called a bathroom break. One of the other dispatchers stands up and yells over to me, " You just sent that to every officer on the whole shift." Which was about 30+ officers. Needless to say I got quite a few MDT messages back. So many in fact, it flooded our system and I finally had to log off, in utter shame and humiliation.

Flash forward a few months I was down in the sally port gabbing with my favorite LT. I told him the above Hall of Shame moment and after he laughed, he said, "Yeah well that is nothing, I heard about this one dispatcher who didn't realize her mike was keyed and she was going on and on for so long, about her Friday night plans!" "Oh, yeah...." I replied, "That was me too...." And as he stared at me open mouthed, I added, "And for the record it was my Saturday night plans...." Ugh, mortifying!

[PS I looooove Deputy Weigel from Reno 911, but anyone else out there think they should add an insane dispatcher? Just me? OK, crawling back into my hole now.]

What am I Supposed to Think????

2006-10-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

Those fishnets, those sassy heels, that naughty garter, I just don't know how I am supposed to take this... Ewe think ewe know someone and then something like this happens.....

Marriage in Crisis

2006-10-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

After almost 10 years of marriage, TEN YEARS, this happens. What do I do? Do I confront him? Do I ask him if this is a one time thing? Was he just curious? Why did he save it? I am so confused. And a little jealous. This is real, I really did find the following picture saved among hundreds of recent pictures of Little Man. This is just.... I don't know what to say. I know he meets unsavory characters on his job. I know he gets propsitioned. But to have something like this in our own home. Did he meet her out there on the streets? How can I ever trust him again...Is she prettier than me? Smarter? What do you think of her?

Sick as a Dog

2006-10-11T21:45:00.000-07:00

Oh man, we are so sick here in the 5150 Household! First Little Man got sick, then Chris, then me, then Chris got better and Little Man and I got worse. Ugh, I feel like my head is going to explode. Poor Little Man acts like we are sucking out his brains every time we use that nasal bulb thingy, (we call it the nose goblin retriever, I'm not sure what normal people call them). So Chris decides to see what all the fuss is about and he tried the bulb thingy on himself. He says, "Wow that is pretty horrible....But it does work. And I am not going to try that again." So, I will be back to post more soon, but for now, I am going to crawl back to bed with my new best friend, Green Death Flavored Nyquil.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I am an Ass

2006-10-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe how dumb I was yesterday. File this one under "What was I thinking????" I was tired of squeaking in under the wire at my new job so I left super early. I got stuck behind this stupid semi truck on a deserted farm road. I fumed and then when I got into what I thought was the city I work in, I thought to myself, all my guys are in breifing, I can just pass this guy in the turning lane, no one will even notice at this hour. WRONG. Turns out I wasn't into "my" city yet. The SECOND I went to pass this truck (but I mean come one he was going 20 in a 50 zone...) Bam, lights and sirens behind me. I rolled down the window and said loudly to the approaching officer, "I am an ass!" All of the sudden he, listens to his portable, pulls his gun out and backs up, getting behind his car door. Turns out his dispatcher told him the plate was stolen. Not all dispatchers can be good, I guess. He approached cautiously and said, "Is your plate stolen?" And I said, (really good and pissed at his dispatcher, because of him/her, this officer is all jacked up and he has his gun out.) I yelled to him, "If your dispatcher was worth their salt, they would have said "one LOST, or stolen plate." I don't know if it was lost or stolen, it was just gone one day." At this point his dispatcher must have told him about my PD plates so he finally put his gun away and bawled me out for the illegal passing. I deserved that, but I am still fuming about the dispatcher's mistake. But hey, at least I didn't get a ticket! Learn from my mistakes: 1) I am not above the law just because I am married to a cop and work for a PD. 2) Don't walk into your brand new job proclaiming, "I would have been on time had I not been pulled over at gun point by the fuzz." They really look at you funny and it kinda makes you look bad....

The Crime of the Century

2006-09-27T13:15:00.000-07:00

So I did a ride along with Close to Home PD and I had a lot of fun. This city would be considered a smaller sized one than many, with a population of about 70,000, and though there are many farms, and no malls it is growing fast. Among the brand new $400,000+ homes are the older ramshackle ones, the city probably wishes they could bulldoze. Main arrests here are for DUI, drugs, warrants and various 415s (disturbing the peace.) The majority of officer initiated radio calls are for traffic stops, but there is also a steady flow of citizens calling for service as well. Rarely does it seem there is a clear screen with nothing holding. I digress, so I am on my ride along with Officer Smiley and a call comes out for Js who were throwing bricks at cars and are now hiding in the cornfield, evading the SROs (school resource officers.) So we high-tailed it over there and when we show up there are about 5 patrol cars already there. Officer Smiely finds the last remaining suspect and as I watch from the car, all the officers cheer and start closed knuckling each other, (you know like high fives only apparently these days that is too much contact for manly men so they do the knuckle to knuckle thing?) And I am hiding a smile because their enthusiasm is endearing to me, (I can't picture Chris closed knuckling anyone after his first or third near miss shooting, and this was just finding some punks in a cornfield!) Turns out one of the guys has a $50,000 want for forgery and when the dispatcher tells the guys this, another round of knuckle knocking ensues. So I am watching this one officer pat down the 1015 (SIC) for weapons, and as the officer sticks his hand into the guys jacket pocket, he calls out to the other officer, "Wait, wait I think we've got something here..." Let me mention here that for this town, 5 police cars and about 7 cops, a detective and a K9 unit on the side of one of the busiest intersections in town is drawing quite the crowd of rubber neckers. Traffic is crawling as the citizens hope to see something juicy. I am thinking to myself, hey maybe for once they will see a show, just as the Officer pulls out a smooshed Big Mac and holds it up high in the air for all to see. "I've got him folks, I have got the Hamburglar!!!!!!!!!!" I think I am going to like these guys!

Can I go Home Now? My Brain is Full....

2006-09-23T22:08:00.000-07:00

So I started at Close to Home PD yesterday (CPD) and I feel like I am going insane. Per dieming at Evil and Wonderful PD at the same time is very easy because the phones, codes, computers, pretty much everything besides the unit call signs are identical. Now at CPD the only thing the same as EPD/WPD is the Vesta phone system. Get this; the officers use 8 and 9 codes on the air, the computers take 5 and six codes to enter the call, but when the dispatcher says the call we use the penal codes...but no, wait sometimes we use 9 codes and the officers use penal codes...Huh????????????? It is so overwhelming. On top of feeling like I am listening to a foreign language, they use a beat system that is like liquid; it changes from hour to hour depending on how many officers are available. So for each call, even if you have worked there for years you, pick up a 5 page beat grid, look up the thomas guide # from the CAD screen, check the grid, then go to the line that has shows how many beats there are and scan across....blah blah blah blah, who cares. The point is: it is very time consuming and bizarre to me. Then there are the cool things. Every call's disposition is cleared with Y or N (report or no report.) That is awesome because you don't have to wade through a gazillion dispo choices. I love that officers here make their own call backs for RPs instead of calling me on the phone and having me call for them, which always leads to me tying up the air with, "caller needs to know....." questions. And fianlly my personal favorite so far; no constant tedious logging; what I mean is like prisoner milage and stuff, the officer says it on the air and my trainer said 10-4 but then she didn't type anything. I said, "Don't you have to log that?" She said, nope it is all recorded and I was like, SWEET! Now back to the negative, and sorry I am dumping so much, especially since I am really enjoying myself and am thankful for this opportunity, but if I can't vent to you guys, what is the point of this blog, right? Cool, alright, continuing on.... I am used to 10 codes, so it is really hard to listen to units doing common things and not understanding what they mean. It feels like they are talking gibberish (I can't even say what is you 20! ) So far the absolute hardest thing is all the different codes and the seemingly radomn/unrelated-ness of them. For example, if it is a burglary, why can't I say, "459" and then punch into the computer "459"? Nope I tell them it is a 933, knowing it is a 459 but put 581 into the computer. Isn't that crazy? And finally the all time WORST new thing about learning their "language": the keyboard is different! The keyboard! Just a few examples being, the enter key and the shift key are reversed, there are no scroll up/down keys and there is no delete key. It is so awkward. I mean it's kind of like a telling a baseball player that from now on he has to hit with his bat upside down---Sure if he is good, he can adapt but it will always feel wrong. It is really, really frustrating. I am really looking forward to knowing my shiznit again; I don't like the feeling of being lost and unconfident. What was cool was, within hours of starting, my trainer told a room full of people that I was, "ridiculously adept" and catching on really fast. Nice to get praise so soon, especially in front of cops. Well that is pretty much it for now. Next post I will tell you about my hilarious ride along. Goodnight!

PS: Amazing how one thing never changes, from agency to agency. I have gone from one end of the state of California to the other in my short illustrious dispatching career, and what was my first call? "I didn't call 911!" (Smile) Yup, I can do this.

The Life of Riley

2006-09-20T23:33:00.000-07:00

It is time for me to tell Riley's tale (tail?). HotRodHanna's found kitten story inspired it.

Once upon a time in a land far far away there was a Princess/Dispatcher who felt like she lived way up on the sixth floor of the communications "tower." The fair dispatcher was called Rebecca. One night, very late, a young gang banger OD'd and died in his apartment. The young gang banger was not alone in his room, he had his new puppy in there too. An AKC red nosed pitt bull that he was going to use for breeding and intimidation. The young banger lived in an area where dog fighting and tying bricks around your Pitt's neck to bulk it up were common practices. What was to become of this poor puppy? Finally a hero arrived. The police were called in by a family member and a kind hearted officer rescued the puppy. The kind police officer could not keep her so he did a very wise thing; he sent a message via MDT to all the dispatchers in the whole tower that read, "Anyone want a 2 month old female puppy?" Now, the second I, er Rebecca saw this message her heart began to race. Rebecca thought, surely in a room full of 20+ dispatchers someone else will ante up......but just in case she wrote back, "If no one else takes her, I will." And held her breath as she hit the "send" key. Rebecca thought to herself, well even if I bring her home, I can find a home for her, I have found homes for nine other foster/rescue dogs so far, I can certainly place one more! After some time had passed Rebecca breathed a sigh, mixed with disappointment and relief, hardly missing a beat as she brought up the blinking message on the bottom of her screen that read, "She is all yours." Rebecca blinked in surprise. Oh my gosh what have I done? She thought, staring at the message. Slowly Rebecca got up for her break and called her husband, oh I mean, Prince. Rebecca was not worried about her Prince's reaction, after all five years ago, he had been the one to rescue and bring home 2 of their other dogs. Problem was; 1 planned dog (Xena) + one puppy abandoned at Walmart (Gabby) + one puppy abandoned in a Church bathroom (Bailey) + "a two month old female foster puppy yet to be named" = a Prince and a Princess who are out numbered 2 to 1! Oh well Rebecca thought, bring it on! Thus a 3 dog household became a 4 dog household and now 4 years later, they all live HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

Good Week or Bad Week?????

2006-09-17T21:47:00.000-07:00

Chris has been shot at THREE times this week! Can you believe that. So last night after the second time, the Sgt. calls a critical debriefing and tells everyone to be real careful, the city is going to crap, etc.,(homicides last year at this time were at 57 this year there are already over 100), and not 5 minutes after Chris and his partner leave the station they get shot at again! I am thinking now is a good time to play the lottery! Tonight is his friday. One more night and I can relax for 2 days. Just one more night, one more night, one more night, onemorenightonemorenightonemorenight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yikes...That IS Pretty Bad....

2006-09-13T23:27:00.000-07:00

So my husband was grumbling about being forced to partner up all next month with this guy we will call "J."

Me: Come on Chris, he can't be that bad, can he?

Chris: He pulled his asp out during the last code 3 cover call.

Me: Well that's good, shows he is not afraid to use it....

Chris: IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHOOT OUT!!!!!

Me: Holy crap!......So how much sick time do you have saved up?

Tell Me, You Did NOT Just Say That !

2006-09-08T02:09:00.000-07:00

When Chris got out of the police academy, I had already been a dispatcher for almost 2 years, so I found some of his early snafus and mishaps quite funny and endearing. One day while Chris was still on "break in", he came home from a long day and told me the following story. He and his FTO were on the freeway running out plates, so he could practice his phonetics and get used to giving information to the dispatchers over the radio. He called in a plate, that had the above image in the center of it. (Note: when calling out a plate like this, you ignore the images, and read them out like they aren't even there.) Well, Chris not knowing how to read it, said: "Sam, Adam, Mary......(Huge open mic'd pause)....Kid's tiny hand......One, two, three." While he told me about the massive ammount of radio clicks he got and how his Training Officer's jaw dropped, I about wet myself laughing.
Hmmm.....Maybe you have to be a California dispatcher/cop to find this funny.... [Bet you "got" why this was so funny, huh Hotrodhanna?] Shoot, howdy I'd a paid a lot to have seen his dispatcher's reaction!

The Ideal Place to Send Some of my RPs......

2006-09-07T22:43:00.000-07:00

Finally, I can send some of those, seemingly un-help-able citizens to a place, where they can get the help the truly deserve, er, need.....

Please Hold While I Transfer You To.....Anyone But Me

2006-09-05T14:47:00.000-07:00

A caller today said, "I have a general question that is quite specific...." I just didn't have the patience and immediately transfered her to the records clerk. Does that make me an ass, since that poor lady is overworked/underpaid. Yeah, but I'd do it again in a heart beat! Mwoooha ha ha ha!!!!!! (Evil laughter)

SWAT (Sit, Wait, and Talk)

2006-09-04T18:48:00.000-07:00

Oldie but goodie from HPD: If you are going to call out a full SWAT assignment and yell out commands for hours and hours on your mega-phone-thingy to an armed and dangerous suspect, holed up inside his home.......MAKE SURE HE IS ACTUALLY THERE!!!!! 16 hour stand off ended when they raided the house, only to find it empty. The suspect didn't slip out un-noticed; he was never there! Whoops.

This is Pitt Bull-@#$%

2006-08-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

This is my message for today: "People of earth: not every dog running loose in the streets is a Pitt Bull! I understand you are frightened but when you tell me the dog out your window is blonde with floppy ears, you are describing a lab and when you tell me it is a big black dog with tan dots over its eyes that is called a Rottweiler. Do you people not understand that Chows are the most dangerous dogs known to man? Sure they look like fuzzy teddy bears but they are insane....Where was I? Oh, yes, when you, citizens of the towns I work in, claim in hushed tones that the barking dog you can't see 6 streets over is a Pitt Bull, all respect I had for you goes out the window. As my annoyance grows, so does the time you will have to wait for an officer to respond. If you only knew that your amatuer dog breed analysis, made me react slower instead of faster, perhaps you would keep your Pitt hating comments to yourself." OK I am done with my rant. I know there are some mean Pitt Bulls out there, I get that, but that is usually because of bad owners and yes, sometimes bad breeding, but to write off and entire type of dog is just lame. To back up my claim, I have added a few pictures of Riley. She is my widdle cuddle bunny and she LOVES kids. I don't leave them alone together, I am not a moron, but I also don't live in fear of her attacking. Please show a little love to a breed that has gotten a bad rap.

Does That Make Me Craaaaazy?....Probably....

2006-08-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

So I had my psych eval for "Close to Home PD" (CPD). And it went just fine. There are so many questions on those tests that you just wonder if anyone is ever stupid enough to be completely honest about them. I mean seriously, if a person did harbor secret attractions to small woodland creatures, has anyone ever marked the "True" bubble? I'm guessing, yes. My absolute favorite question of all the 2000+ questions was:

"My drug problem has never been an issue with my family life."

True! No wait, false cause I don't have a drug problem... No wait, if I say false it means it has been a problem.....Where is the "N/A" box????

Maybe I am 5150.....

2006-08-16T16:29:00.000-07:00

True of False question on my Psych Eval today:

I am terrified in a windstorm.

..................Say what?

I am just curious if I had said yes, does that make me unfit to dispatch police officers? Perhaps just during windstorms.....More later.

11-99 Officer Down

2006-08-08T14:40:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to say, I am not OK, today. Another CHP officer was killed a few days ago. This is a friend of my husband's. Someone he knew in the Marine Corps. We will travel to attend his funeral on Thursday. His wife is a former Marine wife, cop wife and police dispatcher, just like me. She is living my worst nightmare. Pray for the CHiPies, they are understaffed and overworked, and lately, they are dropping like flies.

Things That Make You Go.....What The ------????

2006-08-05T02:41:00.000-07:00

I asked an RP of the guy who robbed him: "What race was he? White, Black, Hispanic or Asian?" and he replied, "Yes, that is right!"....Ummmm...I didn't know how to rephrase that question to make it more clear...

Malfunction, Malfunction, Malfunction

2006-08-03T04:24:00.000-07:00

True story from when I was at Huge PD: Imagine a massive SWAT call out, with a dangerous felon barricading himself inside a small house, reportedly armed to the teeth. Wisely the decision was made to send in the new ultra high tech, majorly expensive robot. The plan was, that one of the specially trained SWAT members would remotely control the robot into the house, and over a radio built into the robot, the suspect would be given instructions to place the weapons onto a tray-like recepticale attached to the front of the robot, thus safely diffusing the situation. Unfortunately the plan was foiled, when after being deployed into the house, the ultra high tech, majorly expensive robot got tangled up in the suspect's drapes.

Oh, Little Radio Console, So Brave and True....

2006-08-03T02:37:00.000-07:00

I sure missed coming to work this week! I know, I know, you think I am a total whack job, but me and Danger (not his real name, it's his middle name), have been sick and I have been completely stir crazy at home! Tonight, (and tomorrow night, and Friday night), I am working at Wonderful PD. I love it here. Just the fact that there is a bathroom here in dispatch, makes me love this place! What can I say, I am easily satisfied!

Officer "M" just brought his K9, into dispatch without warning me. I just saw this hulking form come running in. Then he jumped on me and slurped my face. I just about peed my pants. I keep telling him, you gotta warn me! Love that dog though. I have four big dogs at home, and so the K9 is always facinated with sniffing my shoes.

Not much happenin' here tonight, but I won't say the "Q" word, just in case. Is it just me, or does any other dispatcher out there, just hate getting barking dog and other noise complaints on 911? Even though I am the only one here, I still make them call back on the non emergency number most of the time, just for the principal of it. Well, that is all for now, til later!

This Actually Happened...

2006-07-27T23:03:00.000-07:00

If you go out on a traffic stop with your FTO and he is standing on the sidewalk waiting for you to finish, for such a long time that a snail crawls up his pant leg, leaving a big long silvery trail on his navy blue uniform, I think it would be appropriate to offer to pay his dry cleaning bill.......

I'm in Love With a Cop

2006-07-27T01:59:00.000-07:00

As a cops wife, there are so many times, all I can do to help Chris deal with a tragic call, is listen. (I can just hear him reading this and telling me, he doesn't need any help!) I think being a police dispatcher, and understanding on some level what he is going though day to day, is a really good thing. But sometimes I can do something to make my husband feel better. I have been with my husband for nine years and back when he was an active Marine and we were younger, (when we got married, he was 19, I was 21), I really sucked at being "there" for him. I wasn't mean, I was just a space cadet, wrapped up in my own little world, I guess, (Luckily I was a little hottie, so that hopefully made up for it a bit.) Now that he is a cop, I try to learn from how lame I was before, and do all I can to be there for him. He is not a big talker with most people, but he does tell me things. The best thing I can do for him is listen and not comment. Sometimes that is very hard for me; it is something I have to actively refrain from doing. That and also I have a touch of ADD so I have to concentrate and focus. That being said, when there are those rare times, I feel I can actively do something to help, I really want to do it. A recent example:

Danger is 11 months old and he and I had plans, just the two of us, for a gold old-fashioned road trip, to go visit the grandparents, south of us. Plans made waaaaaaay in advance. Days before we were set to leave, Chris' assisted on an fatal traffic accident. When he arrived the mom was running back and forth in traffic holding her dead baby, screaming for Chris and the other officer to save him. A baby that was just a couple of months older than Danger. I was surprised Chris shared this with me, and I did the only thing I could think of to put his mind at ease and sooth him, even if just a little. Danger and I took the train. I hope it helped.

I Had the Right To Remain Stupid

2006-07-26T22:13:00.000-07:00

I got pulled over by one of my own officers...sort of. I made a left turn out of the Crap in the Box even though "Right Turn Only" was posted. I saw the sign, but I thought, who is going to notice at 3:45 in the morning? My Officer, noticed. He pulls up beside me and does the universal hand motion for "Roll-your-friggin' window down" realizes it's me and rolls his eyes as he speeds off. Oops.