Thursday, August 23, 2007

Couldn't Have Happened to a Nicer Officer

Let me begin this post by saying, even the very few officers that regularly treated me like crap at Evil PD, were given my "A" game. Yes, there was a time or two where I was lured into the back and forth"who can give the meanest tone of voice on the radio." If I want to, I can be the queen of the bad attitude. My voice can drip with such scathing tones, your ears will melt off. I digress, that is a post for another time, this is an Evil PD story. There's this officer there, I will call her Officer M. She had about 3 years experience at the time, she is about 5'4" in decent shape and probably about 25 years old. That's all fine, but she walks around with this swagger, thumbs hooked in her duty belt and all, like she's all that and a tub of biscuits. It wasn't that she was really mean to me, it is just she thought she was a complete bad a$$ and treated others as if they were insignificant. So, every year in Evil City there is an Air Show at the local airport. Memos are emailed out for weeks leading up to it and they get posted all over the station, warning officers and dispatchers that there is a part of the show where a stunt helicopter appears to crash, but that it is well rehearsed and just fine. Every year we get about 25 frantic 911 callers, screaming into the phone about a crash at the airport, and every year we calm them down, with the aforementioned explanation. Bottom line, we expect the callers to call and the frantic citizens to flag down officers. What we don't expect is the following to happen:

Officer M: I'll be making an 1186 at---OH MY GAWD! SEND FIRE AND MEDICS CODE 3 TO THE EVIL AIRPORT THERE HAS BEEN A HELICOPTER CRASH!!!!!!

Me: [In an extremely calm, level voice] Negative Officer M, please 1021 radio.

Officer M: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GIVE YOU A CALL RIGHT NOW!!!! SEND FIRE AND MEDICS NOW!!!! I AM ROLLING CODE 3 TO THE SCENE.

Me: [Genuinely hoping I can help her save face.] Reduce code, and 1021 dispatch immediately.

Officer M: NO ! I AM ALMOST 97. I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THE CRASH IN JUST A SECOND. OK, I SEE IT!!!!!!! LET FIRE KNOW......oh.... Nevermind.

Me: Yes. Now, please 1021 radio.

And the radio clicks went on for over a minute. She was called Officer Mayday for a really long time. I would like to say that she learned something from the experience or at least that she calmed down a bit but I can't. In fact the reason I wrote this random Evil PD story is that I just heard that Officer Mayday was recently at a Party/Noise complaint call, had her taser out, tripped and fell and tased herself. Amazing.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

You've Come A Long Way Baby!!!!






Today is Little Man's second birthday! We are going out to have some fun now. Write more later, I promise.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Havin' a sHELL of a Good Time!


Hello! I have not fallen off the face of the planet. I am in fact, on a long overdue vacation. I will be back and blogging no later than my next work shift--Tuesday. (Day shift) Hope you all are doing great.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Join Me for a Sit-Along !





I am taking you with me tonight. You will be with me all 12 hours. Yippee, it will be fun. I will update this post all night long. Every single call, and dispatch will be logged. I am not saying it will be exciting, but it should be interesting. Here we go!

1745-1845hrs: Get up, get ready, go pick up some Baja Fresh for dinner. 2 carne asada tacos, a side order of chips, a coke and a churro. Got my fuel for the night.

1845hrs: Arrive at work and overhear the oncoming shift talking about having an "1186 Contest." That is, who can make the most traffic stops. Uh oh, better eat fast!

1857hrs: 911 from a cell, unable to call back due to area code being (911). That means it's an unassigned cell. Luckily it just sounded like a child playing.

1901hrs: Neighboring city transfers a call of two black Mercedes speeding south bound into our city, along the state route. Read, dumped the call, because I guarantee, it was speeding through their city and they just assumed it going to come flying into ours. I put it out on the air as a BOL and dumped, er I mean, passed along the information to the city south of ours.

1912hrs: Fire dispatcher calls and requests a unit. They arrived to investigate a smoke alarm and the back door has been forced open.

1918hrs: 911 medical for an elderly male. Conscious/breathing transferred to fire. (We answer all 911 calls here but fire and medics go to the county dispatcher.

1920hrs: Witness wanting to ID a suspect from earlier incident. Transferred to officer handling

1920hrs: Unit at fire call goes Code 4. It was the fire department that forced open the door. Someone left a pan on the stove.

1921hrs: Same child on untraceable cell calls 911 and talks incoherently. [Note to people with children: Cell phones are not toys! Even ones you no longer pay for have 911 access.]

1930hrs: Officer Brett requested I try to find a phone number to the resident. I located a number, called it and Officer Brett answered. We both promptly concluded this did no good.

1941hrs: Fire and Officer Brett clear the residence after leaving a note. I return to shoveling down as much food as possible before the next call.

1944hrs-2100hrs: (I was giving every single incident it's own log time, but it was getting really long and boring. So I'm lumping the routine stuff together.) Witness transferred to officer's voicemail. Female at the PD reporting a lost wallet. Detective calls in for case number.Traffic stop with a parolee, random call, more Baja Fresh, traffic stop, daughter of female in the PD lobby finds the wallet at home. Chris sends me cell phone text picture of Little Man eating dinner and I almost cry because I haven't seen him since Monday afternoon. Parking complaint, Traffic stop, some callers and a failed attempt at putting the radio traffic of last nights pursuit, from the computer onto a CD for court. (Boy, Ron, I coulda used your expertise. I am so inept with computers.)

2100hrs-2200hrs: Parking complaint, noise complaint, and traffic stops. More Baja Fresh scarfed down.

2200hrs-2300hrs: Sappy phone call from my husband who couldn't sleep. Traffic stops. Woman locked out of her apartment. Tiny bit of light reading squeezed in.

2300hrs-Ooooh fight call! All units enroute now. 7 subjects fist fighting on the train platform.

2302hrs: Units arrive. 5-6 subject seen, not fighting.

2304hrs: Witness says it is male vs. female. Conducting area check. 4+ units 97 (onscene), sheriff almost 97 . WFA 20s blnd, WMA 20s with a cut on his face. Both outstanding.

2317hrs: Hello? Where did everybody go? No one is saying anything on the radio....

2318hrs: That was a big fat nothing. They couldn't find them.

2330hrs: Male and female fighting in the street. Two units and a Sgt. responding. Other unit on a traffic stop.

2332hrs: Out with both subjects.

{In the middle of this a detective has come up yelling his call sign. I think, Holy crap! it must be something important to be yelling and to interrupt an in progress fight call. Nope. He just wants me to call a cab for a citizen. After a few minutes, I still had not gotten a chance to call the cab. The defective called me and asked, "What is the ETA for my cab?" I tell him I am a bit busy with a fight call, it will be another moment, would he like the cab's phone number and he can call for himself? He actually had the audacity to say, "Well, I have never had to do that before, I'm not sure I know how." I politely told him to just call the cab and give him his location, that if he had any issues, to let me know and by then I'd probably be free. Honestly, I know he has a cell phone, because he is calling me. He is armed and fully trained; am I to believe he is unable to wield a cell phone???}

2343hrs: Units code 4

2350hrs: Units clear. No DV., the wife was angry at husband for staying out late drinking with college buddies on a week night. Verbal only.

2350hrs-0012hrs: Silence. Blessed silence.

0012hrs: County wide BOL put out over all local radio frequencies. Officer Safety: 211 in a nearby city, just occurred with a handgun. 3 BMA suspects in a mall white vehicle.

0012hrs-0200hrs: Traffic stops, 1154 (Suspicious vehicle) a few 1066s (Suspicious persons), party call where the revelers were throwing empty beer bottles at passing cars, a few traffic stops.

0200hrs-0300hrs: CODE 7

0305hrs-Caller asking a lot of questions regarding identity theft. How to go about reporting it etc. I give him the information and he says, "Good, good, thank you. I'll just gather up all the paperwork and head on down there to make the report." "OK," I say, "We're open all night." But what I am thinking is, why on earth are you up at 3 in the morning? Why can't you get some sleep and come take care of it first thing in the morning? It makes me wonder. Same with when an RP calls at like 0330 in the morning and says, "I was just looking out my bedroom window and I saw...." Why? Why were you "just staring out your window" right smack in the middle of the night? Oh that I could be the one at home in the middle of the night! I never take my bed or pillow for granted and if I were home right now we'd be locked in a passionate embrace.

0310hrs-0528hrs: Watch a DVD. (I am allowed to.) Almost no radio traffic and zero phone calls.

0545: All is silent still so I head to the restroom. Without going into graphic detail, I get comfortable and an officer goes out on a traffic stop. I pull up my pants, run into dispatch and answer the officer. The radio isn't working because of the way my headset is wrongly plugged in. An officer and Sgt. come into dispatch to make sure I am OK and that I heard the traffic, only to observe me wrapped in the telephone cord and attempting to zip up my pants. Classic.

0530hrs-0645hrs: Start entering a giant stack of citations into the system. I got almost two completed. The officers were going crazy with traffic stops. Also we get a lot of medical calls, and vandalism/car burgs that occured overnight, first thing in the morning

0630-0645hrs: The CLETs system goes down so I can't run out any people or plates. Nevertheless, several officers attempt to do so, even though they have been notified.

0645hrs: San Bernadino County Sheriffs called to confirm a warrant. When I finally found it in the warrant files it was so old, the paper was disintegrating. It was a drunk driving warrant for 1,000 dollars form the '80s

0700hrs: The day shift dispatcher, Dino, has arrived. Yay! So, that was a pretty typical shift. Not always exciting but definitely interesting. Man, I love my job. And now I am off to see my sweet boy and reunite with my beloved pillow.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Who's on First?

Sometimes you can't get good information from callers because their accent is so strong, you just can't understand them. Sometimes you can't get good information from callers because of a language barrier. Try as you might, it just ain't happening. Sometimes you can't understand the caller because their crappy cell phone keeps cutting out. Sometimes you can't get good information from callers because they are just plain stupid. And every now and then the four types of difficult callers meld together to create a really, really frustrating experience. Like the call I got today. Imagine if you will a female, with a very thick accent, (doesn't really matter which kind), a horrible cell connection and definitely English as a third, or possibly fourth language.

Me: 911 emergency

Caller: I at is room for laundry. Come now. Brother not treating me well.

Me: What is your location?

Caller: Yes.

Me: I see you are calling from a cell phone. I do not know your location.

Caller: Yes.

Me: Where are you?

Caller: I [cell static] here.

Me: Where is here? What is your location? What address are you at?

Caller: I am in the room of laundry.

Me: You are at a laundry mat?

Caller: NO! (As if I am the stupid/unintelligible one.)

Me: Ma'am, I don't know where to send my officer. What address are you at.

Caller: My cross street is Glade.

Me: But what is your address?

Caller: The cross street is Glade.

Me: Ma'am without an address, the cross street doesn't help me. What is your address?

Caller: It is 360. Now send the polices.

Me: 360, is the street number, what is the street address.

Caller: Glade

Me: Isn't Glade the cross street???

Caller: Yes. Send the polices now, for my brother.

Me: What. Street. Are. You. On? 360.........

Caller: Reston!

Me: Good! OK 360 Reston. That is the Glade apartments. What apartment are you in?

Caller: Yes.

Me: What is the number of the apartment you are in.

Caller: I am not in apartment! Room of laundry!

Me: Are you in the laundry room of the apartment complex at 360 Reston?

Caller: Yes!

Me: OK. Is your brother there now?

Caller: He---[static]

Me: Please say that again, your cell cut out.

Caller: I said, he is not here.

Me: OK, can you go back to your apartment, and wait for the police?

Caller: What apartment?

Me: Your apartment.

Caller: I don't have and apartment.

Me: ... I thought you were in the laundry room of the Glade Apartment complex.

Caller: Yes.

Me: But you don't have an apartment there?

Caller: No, I am staying at a hotel nearby.

Me: [At this point, I know she is safe, I know where she is, I just don't even care to know why on earth she is doing her laundry at some random apartment complex.] OK. What is your phone number?

Caller: 4.

Me: What is the phone number for the cell that you are calling me on.

Caller: 2.

Me: [What the H#$*????] OK. Ma'am just wait there in the laundry room and I will send an officer to come talk to you.

Caller: You send the polices now.

Me: Yes. Please stay put.

Caller: OK, I will go there.

Me: No, I mean just stay where you are.

The officer arrived onscene and cleared "advised" within about 1 1/2 minutes. Big surprise.

Monday, August 06, 2007

I Should Have Kept My Mouth Shut...

Last time I worked, I was bored. Soooooo incredibly bored. In two 12 hour day shifts, I got maybe one interesting call and a handful of 1186s (traffic stops.) Back me up, Ron, you were there. I was so bored, I was flagging down the records people and asking them if I could help them with paperwork. There were no cites to be entered, no entries to be made, no phones to answer, and records told me they didn't need any help. I always feel like such a slug when I open up a magazine or book on day shift. Especially when the chief of police, or my boss comes by. On my way out the door last week, I told an officer, that I'd be on his shift on Monday, and could he please be more entertaining. Boy, I should have kept my mouth shut. Within the first hour we had a pursuit that left the city, 911 calls off the hook and an in custody. My black cloud followed onto day shift and they had a felony hit and run occur at the same time as some bank robbers took the commuter train into our city. Tonight we had all the 911 lines ringing at once for a vehicle vs. motorcycle. And as my favorite SGT always says, "There is no such thing as a minor injury motorcycle accident." Shoot howdy we are having fun tonight. And the hits keep on coming. Talk more later!

Sunday, August 05, 2007

It's Off to the Races.....


It is that time again in the 5150 household. Time for us to once again put all our money on the three legged horse named "Gimpy." We are officially trying to create a sister for Little Man. To make a loooooooong story short, it's not easy for us. Last time involved years of waiting, praying and surgery. My main thoughts are: When will it happen? How will it happen? I don't mean that kind of "how"! When I say "how" I mean, I know that for us adoption is a very real option. I have to have another child, so if we can't make one, we are fine with adopting. Because of that possibiltiy I often lurk around the various adoption blogs. A recurring theme on all of these sites, are Home Studies. That is where they come into your home to evaluate if you are able to care for an adopted child. Uh oh. Do you have to do one of those? I can only imagine what ours would be like. Let's all imagine, shall we, that you can follow along via virtual tour as I meet with our social worker:


"Hi, sorry I am late, I just got off my usual 12 hour shift. Welcome to our home, yeah it is pretty cute, I think the term for it would be a "fixer upper." You'd never know that though from the size of the mortgage, or shall I say mortgages, plural. Sorry about the crappy neighborhood. I am pretty sure they are selling drugs across the street, too. Come on in. Oh, whoops, don't trip over Riley. Why yes she is a Pitt bull. And here's Gabby. Gabby, down. Down Gabby. Gabby, get down. Stop jumping on the nice lady! Oh, sorry about your dress...So here is our living room. No, no, that's not carpet, that's hardwood floors with about 3 inches of dog hair on it--I haven't had a chance to vacuum in weeks. Hmm? Oh, no that isn't a dog in the corner it's just a really big hair ball! We only have four large dogs. Are you choking? Can I get you a glass of water? No? That's probably for the best, I don't have any clean glasses anyway. Also we were sent a letter recently from the city, asking us not to drink the water. Something about high levels of arsenic. Yes, it is pretty normal for me to have about 2 weeks worth of dirty dishes in the sink. No, no don't open the oven! Oops, you caught me, I hid some more of the dirty dishes in there. How embarrassing. Now, over here somewhere under all these magazines and bags is a really nice kitchen table. Oh no, that's not an unusual pattern on the linoleum floor, those are muddy dog prints! Here is the den/storage/future second child's room. No, we didn't just move in, we've been here two years, I just haven't got around to unpacking, yet. Sorry about the bills scattered all over the desk here. I am trying to pay off some really big loans. Our credit is pretty crappy but we're working on it, (nervous laughter). We may be poor, but what we lack in money, we make up for with our rich personalities! Ha, ha, ha, ahem. You'd like to know where my husband is? Oh he couldn't make it, he is at the hospital. He got in a fight with an armed suspect who pulled a gun on him and a fight ensued. He's getting stitches. The suspect, not my husband, silly! That husband of mine, always getting into these madcap adventures, gun fights and high speed pursuits! (Awkward silence). OK, um, moving right along, this is the bathroom. Oh, that? Yes the paint is peeling off the wall. I realize it's only one foot off the floor, and yes it is lead based, but don't worry I wouldn't let the kid lick the walls! Ha Ha Ha. Is it it warm in here, or is it just me. What am I thinking our Air Conditioner's broken, of course it's me! Who could forget the 100 degree summer were having! Um, yeah, so down here at the end of the hall is our room. Oh, that? That is the gun cabinet, we keep meaning to fix the lock on that. Oh my gosh, Xena! I'm sure this nice lady doesn't want that icky dead mouse! She's always bringing us 'presents'. Where are you going? What do you mean you have to leave? Ma'am come back! You forgot your purse...Sigh"

Yeah, I'm sure our prospects will be lining up around the block.